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Original poster

School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?

719 replies

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 10:59

I'm feeling really sensitive right now due to work stress so please be kind.

My 5 year old is off with chicken pox right now. He got the spots on Sunday, he's been quite poorly with it Monday - Tuesday, very sleepy, then very uncomfortable Weds waiting for the scabs to form. He's just started to feel better today but the school have an INSET day tomorrow anyway.

We just had a knock at the door, and it was a teacher from DS's school! He was very reluctant to come downstairs because he's only in his pants and thought the teacher was there to take him to school. She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time.

He's been off for 4 days? His older sister is at school so we've still done the school run every day. To be fair as it's an inset day tomorrow it will be over a week by the time he goes back on Monday. But I've never had a teacher come unannounced to our house to check on our child. Can someone reassure me it is actually normal and they don't think something bad of us! My poor boy is just ill. I've called him in and updated, updated again this morning saying he would be back on Monday!

OP posts:
ThisIsWednesday · 16/03/2023 17:43

My DP said he's here and fine but doesn't want to come down, teacher responded with "I need to have eyes on him"

I'd think "no you fucking don't" but then decline far more politely. But decline I certainly would.
I'm sorry but I would be really mad at basically being accused of lying. They were told by you that your son has chicken pox and won't be coming back until he's better. That's all they need to know.
As schools/local authorities issue fines for keeping kids off for holidays I can understand the sneaky investigating (even if I don't agree) but your other child is in school so that excuse doesn't come in to it.

I would be sending my kid in every time with whatever infectious illness they have in future (providing they're up for it).

LolaSmiles · 16/03/2023 17:45

Those people who think it’s odd probably don’t work in education. My head is often out and about doing this type of thing. It’s all part of safeguarding.You should be pleased and reassured that there are agencies out there proactive in looking out for children
I don't think your average Mumsnetter has much, if any, experience of safeguarding. There's always lots of posts on threads linked directly or indirectly to safeguarding full of posters who clearly don't work in the area, sometimes giving advice that's likely to be very unhelpful to an OP.

It's understandable that most people out of the field don't know much about attendance and safeguarding or how and why different schools create policies. Why would they? I don't know anything about signing off on electrical work or any number of other fields. There's something about safeguarding related topics that brings out the misinformation though.

Personally, OP's situation wouldn't trigger a welfare visit from the schools I've worked in, but it would in some others.

RemoteControlDoobry · 16/03/2023 17:46

So you write them a very stern email. Do you think they’re making assumptions about you because you’re on a lower income? You’re clearly perfectly capable of writing a coherent email so let them know you won’t be treated in this way. It’s totally unacceptable. You don’t get this sort of crap at an independent school because they’d never get away with it but state schools treat parents with contempt.

Kennykenkencat · 16/03/2023 17:46

I think I would be suspicious of someone coming to the door and insisting they see my child.

Just because they work at the school to me doesn’t mean a thing especially if there is nothing in their policies on line to say this would happen

Isn’t her job title truant officer as she can’t be doing much pastoral caring in school if she spends her time chasing down absent children.

I would be fuming that the school didn’t believe me and sent someone to my door

Wonder how safe she is visiting other sick children if she has to physically see them all. She could pick up all sorts and pass it on to the next family she visits

Onnabugeisha · 16/03/2023 17:47

This needs to be done by all schools imho in memory of Kaylea Titford. Kaylea would have lived if her school had checked on her instead of relying on her mums lies. I’m sure there are other children in addition to Kaylea as well that have died at the hands of their parents. I’d be throwing my door open and being very complimentary and telling them it’s fantastic they do this. Even if it saves one child- it is worth it.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 16/03/2023 17:49

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:09

Very good attendance. DS had 1 day off for an illness and then seemed fine, was asked to pick him up the next day as he was still a bit tired and unwell. That's his only absence this year, DD even less.

I'm really gutted that it is in fact unusual as I suspected, we're a lower income family in an area with high-ish income and we live out of catchment so sometimes since DS started we are sometimes slightly late (still before 9am though).

Show quote history

That's an unauthorised absence, so you will not have very good attendance.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 16/03/2023 17:53

Seashor · 16/03/2023 16:38

Those people who think it’s odd probably don’t work in education. My head is often out and about doing this type of thing. It’s all part of safeguarding. You should be pleased and reassured that there are agencies out there proactive in looking out for children.

Im pleased to know they are. They could pick up something from the visit (not the visit to you OP). It wouldn't bother me to open the door and see my child if they were worried, but there's nothing for me to hide.

strawberriesarenot · 16/03/2023 17:54

Happened to us when ds5 was off 3 weeks with pheumonia. I had updated school, but obviously not enough. I didn't mind- it was just before Christmas and the teacher brought Christmas sweets. I thought of it as kindly safe guarding. When he did go back it was quite useful- they knew he'd been very ill and made sure he was wrapped up at playtime etc.

Kennykenkencat · 16/03/2023 17:56

Those people who think it’s odd probably don’t work in education. My head is often out and about doing this type of thing

This is very very wrong.

What you are saying is the HT isn’t actually putting his time to running the school he is gallivanting off after single children who are not in school running the school as a whole

No wonder education is such a mess. Someone is being paid as a head teacher and they are doing a lesser paid job whilst not being there for the school

Are you sure he is actually doing this?

tenbob · 16/03/2023 17:59

ThisIsWednesday · 16/03/2023 17:43

My DP said he's here and fine but doesn't want to come down, teacher responded with "I need to have eyes on him"

I'd think "no you fucking don't" but then decline far more politely. But decline I certainly would.
I'm sorry but I would be really mad at basically being accused of lying. They were told by you that your son has chicken pox and won't be coming back until he's better. That's all they need to know.
As schools/local authorities issue fines for keeping kids off for holidays I can understand the sneaky investigating (even if I don't agree) but your other child is in school so that excuse doesn't come in to it.

I would be sending my kid in every time with whatever infectious illness they have in future (providing they're up for it).

Kindly, you sound like you need to seek some help for whatever issues you have that mean that is your immediate reaction to a teacher keeping an eye out for the welfare of a child.

It is beyond weird to think like that and shows all the sort of red flags that the school is probably looking for with these policies.

lieselotte · 16/03/2023 18:01

Those people who think it’s odd probably don’t work in education. My head is often out and about doing this type of thing. It’s all part of safeguarding.You should be pleased and reassured that there are agencies out there proactive in looking out for children

I don't, but I have been a school governor and I am a welfare officer for a sports club so I do know something about safeguarding and checking up that someone has chicken pox seems way beyond the call of duty. Unless there is something else that the OP hasn't told us, as I said above.

JumbledE · 16/03/2023 18:02

I’m a primary school teacher and I have never heard of this, particularly in a case where you have rang the school to let them know why your DS was not in school. I agree with many others, it’s very intrusive and unnecessary. I would ring the school to have a chat with the head to find out why and to get a written copy of the schools attendance policy. In some rare occasions (where safe guarding was a prior concern) this might be needed but this doesn’t sound even close to that.

neitherofthem · 16/03/2023 18:02

A friend of mine had the deputy head knocking on the door at around half past 4 one afternoon asking to see her DS. They came to check up and make sure that he was in fact ill, because he'd had a lot of time off already that term. He wasn't at home. He was in hospital, where he had been for over a week, which the school already knew about.

lieselotte · 16/03/2023 18:03

It wouldn't bother me to open the door and see my child if they were worried, but there's nothing for me to hide

How do you know? All of us are probably guilty of "wrongthink".

NotQuiteHere · 16/03/2023 18:08

LostFrog · 16/03/2023 17:17

I haven’t read the whole thread, but I work in a school. We do welfare checks if we haven’t had eyes on for a couple of weeks. The local authority expects this as part of safeguarding responsibilities. If a parent refused to allow us to see the child, we would involve other services, including PCSOs if necessary. The crazy thing is that if a parent takes a child off roll, who checks then? No one.
4 days is a bit weird though.

Is being absent for 4 days a sign of a child being abused or neglected?

AviMav · 16/03/2023 18:11

neitherofthem · 16/03/2023 18:02

A friend of mine had the deputy head knocking on the door at around half past 4 one afternoon asking to see her DS. They came to check up and make sure that he was in fact ill, because he'd had a lot of time off already that term. He wasn't at home. He was in hospital, where he had been for over a week, which the school already knew about.

You can understand that though the reason they came round is because of low attendance.

LostFrog · 16/03/2023 18:12

@NotQuiteHere as I said in my post, 4 days seems a bit weird.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 16/03/2023 18:13

lieselotte · 16/03/2023 18:03

It wouldn't bother me to open the door and see my child if they were worried, but there's nothing for me to hide

How do you know? All of us are probably guilty of "wrongthink".

Because I'm aware there's nothing to hide in my home. I doubt they're going to judge the washing on my airer tbh or my home working set up. I would confirm it with the school first by calling them to check it's who they say they are.

Ovidnaso · 16/03/2023 18:27

tenbob · 16/03/2023 17:59

Kindly, you sound like you need to seek some help for whatever issues you have that mean that is your immediate reaction to a teacher keeping an eye out for the welfare of a child.

It is beyond weird to think like that and shows all the sort of red flags that the school is probably looking for with these policies.

Show quote history

It's not at all weird. It's a normal response to the way the government has made absence such an issue that it's really stressful if your child is ill and needs a few days off school (and then has to be sent back still contagious so everyone else gets ill). We live in an increasingly authoritarian and intrusive state and the sane, intelligent response to this is to be angry and frightened and to try to do something about it.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 16/03/2023 18:38

NotQuiteHere · 16/03/2023 18:08

Is being absent for 4 days a sign of a child being abused or neglected?

Show quote history

Well, I was kept off school with 'tummy aches' and 'vomiting' just long enough for the odd black eye or bruising all over my legs and arms to fade. 4 days off, one INSET and the weekend would have covered it nicely.

LolaSmiles · 16/03/2023 18:42

lieselotte
I agree with you that it seems overkill for a straight-forward chickenpox absence for a child with good attendance. It wouldn't meet the threshold for a visit in schools I've worked in unless there was more going on.
Some other schools have a more blanket approach to visits though, especially if there's issues throughout the school community with persistent absenteeism.

Hopefully the OP's school will make sure their policies are clearly on the website.

JazbayGrapes · 16/03/2023 18:48

Because I'm aware there's nothing to hide in my home..

My home is my private space. We do not appreciate unannounced visitors, especially when ill.

adriftinadenofvipers · 16/03/2023 18:53

NeverDropYourMooncup · 16/03/2023 17:49

That's an unauthorised absence, so you will not have very good attendance.

Show quote history

How did you figure that one out? HTAF is the school sending a sick child home, "unauthorised absence"???

I've worked in the education sector for most of my career and I think this would be a strange use of teachers' time - though the OP has now clarified that it wasn't a teacher who called to her house. That's different.

Forgottenpeeves · 16/03/2023 19:06

I'm a teacher and teach the same age group. I have never carried out a home visit even when attendance is low. I phone the parents and chat but haven't visited. Highly unusual.

Covidwoes · 16/03/2023 19:12

I've been a primary teacher for 13 years, and haven't done this once. One of my colleagues did it one time, but that was due to a fairly big safeguarding concern (and she specifically had this role in school anyway), not an illness! This seems very strange, and I'd definitely contact the school in your situation.