Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?

719 replies

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 10:59

I'm feeling really sensitive right now due to work stress so please be kind.

My 5 year old is off with chicken pox right now. He got the spots on Sunday, he's been quite poorly with it Monday - Tuesday, very sleepy, then very uncomfortable Weds waiting for the scabs to form. He's just started to feel better today but the school have an INSET day tomorrow anyway.

We just had a knock at the door, and it was a teacher from DS's school! He was very reluctant to come downstairs because he's only in his pants and thought the teacher was there to take him to school. She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time.

He's been off for 4 days? His older sister is at school so we've still done the school run every day. To be fair as it's an inset day tomorrow it will be over a week by the time he goes back on Monday. But I've never had a teacher come unannounced to our house to check on our child. Can someone reassure me it is actually normal and they don't think something bad of us! My poor boy is just ill. I've called him in and updated, updated again this morning saying he would be back on Monday!

OP posts:
Autumnalblooms · 16/03/2023 19:57

If i had to guess op it would be the lateness at times that has flagged it up.It can be viewed by safeguarding that lateness on a number of occasions can mean there are problems in the family .Not in your case but it has been known to happen .You are well within your rights to question it because to turn up announced does imply they have safeguarding concerns .When my one DC was quite poorly and was off quite a while we had the see on the doorstep but i was always given a time and i got it totally because they needed to be seen .

Conkersinautumn · 16/03/2023 20:04

Perhaps your in school dc said something that triggered a concern?

spirit20 · 16/03/2023 20:44

The school I work at does this in cases of prolonged absences, and I think with cases that have come to light recently (e.g. Arthur Labinjo Hughes) it will become more common. I fully understand that it might seem bizarre and intrusive, and please don't think that it was anything targeted specifically at you as it is more than likely routine. In our school it isn't actually teachers, but a specific member of staff whose role is home school liaison.

toomuchlaundry · 16/03/2023 21:03

@Kennykenkencat in smaller schools the HT is usually the Safeguarding Lead, so knowing where children are will be part of their role. Although as anyone who works in education knows, safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility. Also if the HT doesn’t have classroom responsibility they may be the only available adult who can leave the school

NeverDropYourMooncup · 16/03/2023 22:12

adriftinadenofvipers · 16/03/2023 18:53

How did you figure that one out? HTAF is the school sending a sick child home, "unauthorised absence"???

I've worked in the education sector for most of my career and I think this would be a strange use of teachers' time - though the OP has now clarified that it wasn't a teacher who called to her house. That's different.

Show quote history

Worked in the education sector for most of your career and yet you don't know that lateness once the register has closed is recorded as unauthorised absence?

HuggingtheHRT · 16/03/2023 22:30

I'm a school governor and I'm not aware of any member of staff in our school ever doing this.....

LuvSmallDogs · 16/03/2023 22:31

My 9 y/o who will spend a week vomiting if he picks up a bug that everyone else in the house clears in 1-2 days has attended 3 schools due to moves.

None of them have ever done this, the most he got was 1 note for attendance early in this school year, because he got a bug the 2nd week back which (duh) knocked his percentage because it was the first term.🙄

NeverDropYourMooncup · 16/03/2023 22:38

HuggingtheHRT · 16/03/2023 22:30

I'm a school governor and I'm not aware of any member of staff in our school ever doing this.....

Well, you are supposed to be strategic, not operational...

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 16/03/2023 22:53

@JazbayGrapes its a safe guarding visit, no one is asking for a cup of tea and a biscuit FFS. I bet people like you who say their home is private etc are the first ones to jump up and jump on school/social work/etc when kids do go under the radar.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/03/2023 23:04

This sounds really weird and never heard of it before

So if a Child is off for. Few days they always send a teacher round to check

Wonder what would have happened if you said no /asleep /at nans I'm working etx

I would def enquire more

wingingit1987 · 17/03/2023 00:05

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 16:15

Covid was completely different though to be fair, my DD had to isolate during Covid (she started in 2020) and it was not treated as absence in the same way as normal absences are. She also had to isolate when her brother's pre school advised covid cases. It wasn't the same at all.

Show quote history

I’ll add, I have 5 children. They have been off sick for various reasons outwith Covid and I’ve never know the school staff to come to our home. Or anyone else’s for that matter.I just gave the examples I did as that’s when we had the school/nursery engage with us beyond us reporting the absence.

Nowthenhere · 17/03/2023 01:04

How does a teacher have access to pupil addresses? That's your place of employment as well as your children's safe space.

I would be contacting the head of the school and raising a breach in gdpr. Random teaching staff should not have access to your children's home address.

You were caught off guard. If your child is under 6 years old, consider contacting their health visiting team so that they can do a wellness check on your child's medical condition.

Teachers maybe first aid trained but they still call nhs 111 for medical advice because they are not medically trained.

The school are taking advantage of the records they hold on your child. "We need to have eyes on him" no, no they do not. You are not a pupil at the school so you don't need to be doing as the teacher says. Challenge the school and demand an apology for violating your children's privacy.

If they make up this game again, state you will be calling the police because they're on your property. EWO deal with poor attendance, your child hasn't got poor attendance so they can't send them. GP's deal with health conditions but they can't dictate what a GP does so they can't send them.

The only teaching staff that came to my home were the ones that I invited round because I was friends with their children.

toomuchlaundry · 17/03/2023 01:09

Safeguarding can overrule GDPR. Schools can do welfare checks

toomuchlaundry · 17/03/2023 01:10

Some schools employ an equivalent of a welfare educational officer

AAAAABBBBBCCCCC · 17/03/2023 01:40

Name changed as I have just had a similar experience.

DC relentlessly bullied. Multiple meetings/emails with school. DC got accepted into new school, on a phased start, at the new school's recommendation.

DC was, therefore, not in a school for one week. New schooI were aware of this. I text absence line of old school, every day DC was not there.

I also cc'd old school into the emails from new school and vice versa.

On the Monday, old school emailed to say they would be sending someone around to check on child's welfare. I told them to knock themselves out as the door would not be answered (DC phased start on tues).

I messaged my child (12) and older sibling (mid twenties) to let them know what was happening. Two teachers (that DC recognised) hammered on the door for almost five minutes (intermittently).

They then sent a follow up email, saying they'd been around and no one had answered the door. Interestingly, no follow up from that. Surely, if they were that worried about DC, they should have called police/social services...which I pointed out to them.

It was just a tick box exercise, probably due to guilt, that they'd done sweet FA to properly address the bullying/harrassment when DC was at the school. If only they'd used the same flex to stop the bullying, hey?

Tossers!!

BringBackTeletext · 17/03/2023 04:00

YANBU

I work in a school in a pastoral role so I’m genuinely not just saying this. Please ask for a copy of the policy where the home visit procedure is outlined. I can understand the need for unexplained absence to be identified but it sounds like you did everything right and an over-zealous individual has taken it upon themselves to ‘investigate’. Yes we need to safeguard children but surely they follow a specific, step by step flowchart to trigger going to someone’s home and asking to ‘have eyes’ on a child. They are not the police, they are not children’s social care - concerns can be escalated if need be but school staff are not to the people who should be taking it upon themselves to be driving across town to ‘investigate’ a child. I wonder if this is actually a written policy and if the headteacher is aware this has happened…

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/03/2023 04:05

Sorry if I've missed why @CandlelightGlow / but why are you often late

You say out of catchment area / do you drive /walk

Maybe leave a bit earlier so not late often

Kennykenkencat · 17/03/2023 04:34

Worked in the education sector for most of your career and yet you don't know that lateness once the register has closed is recorded as unauthorised absence

So if you are going to be late and going to get an unauthorised absence mark then why bother trying to get your children into school

What I find worrying is that there are people on here who think that it is ok to throw open your doors and give a stranger with a job title access to your home and your children .
Just because some one works in the school doesn’t mean you know them.

I know a boy who went to the senior school pre start open evening and got beaten up in the playground by some older pupils
He ended up in hospital for weeks and the school just sent emails about his attendance and eventually expelled him for his non attendance whist he was still in hospital.

Phoebo · 17/03/2023 04:55

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:11

I was actually in a meeting on Teams at the time, DS was very reluctant to go downstairs (as said, he wasn't dressed due to spots, and thought the teacher was there to take him to school so panicked).

My DP said he's here and fine but doesn't want to come down, teacher responded with "I need to have eyes on him"

WTAF. I'm devastated.

Show quote history

I wouldn't take it personally. You should reframe it and be glad that the school cares enough to check up on students.

Lovelyveg82 · 17/03/2023 06:07

I know a boy who went to the senior school pre start open evening and got beaten up in the playground by some older pupils
He ended up in hospital for weeks and the school just sent emails about his attendance and eventually expelled him for his non attendance whist he was still in hospital.

what BS

itsgettingweird · 17/03/2023 06:32

Not normal or abnormal.

Schools have a duty of care to check absence if they are concerned.

But it's quite normal for young children to be off this time of year with chicken pox and everyone knows they'll miss a whole week - because they have to!

I wonder if your DD made an innocent comment that made the school question it?

Murdoch1949 · 17/03/2023 06:58

Unusual to home visit for a short term absence for a normally high attender. I can understand it for at risk children, those who have 1/2 days off a week etc, but that's not your son. For you, I would have expected a phone call to arrange a mutually convenient time, not just a knock on the door.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/03/2023 07:01

AAAAABBBBBCCCCC · 17/03/2023 01:40

Name changed as I have just had a similar experience.

DC relentlessly bullied. Multiple meetings/emails with school. DC got accepted into new school, on a phased start, at the new school's recommendation.

DC was, therefore, not in a school for one week. New schooI were aware of this. I text absence line of old school, every day DC was not there.

I also cc'd old school into the emails from new school and vice versa.

On the Monday, old school emailed to say they would be sending someone around to check on child's welfare. I told them to knock themselves out as the door would not be answered (DC phased start on tues).

I messaged my child (12) and older sibling (mid twenties) to let them know what was happening. Two teachers (that DC recognised) hammered on the door for almost five minutes (intermittently).

They then sent a follow up email, saying they'd been around and no one had answered the door. Interestingly, no follow up from that. Surely, if they were that worried about DC, they should have called police/social services...which I pointed out to them.

It was just a tick box exercise, probably due to guilt, that they'd done sweet FA to properly address the bullying/harrassment when DC was at the school. If only they'd used the same flex to stop the bullying, hey?

Tossers!!

The law does not allow the school to say 'oh, that's OK then'. They are forbidden by law to remove the child from the register until the day that the new school confirms they have arrived in their building.

Which means, as they are not sick, you have an unauthorised absence in law and they have to process things as they have done - as a child potentially missing from education. Not a scrap of guilt is involved.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/03/2023 07:04

Kennykenkencat · 17/03/2023 04:34

Worked in the education sector for most of your career and yet you don't know that lateness once the register has closed is recorded as unauthorised absence

So if you are going to be late and going to get an unauthorised absence mark then why bother trying to get your children into school

What I find worrying is that there are people on here who think that it is ok to throw open your doors and give a stranger with a job title access to your home and your children .
Just because some one works in the school doesn’t mean you know them.

I know a boy who went to the senior school pre start open evening and got beaten up in the playground by some older pupils
He ended up in hospital for weeks and the school just sent emails about his attendance and eventually expelled him for his non attendance whist he was still in hospital.

You must have been a dinnerlady, then, if you believe that crock.

marchella · 17/03/2023 07:04

Jaysus! Not in UK but I would have shut the door in their face unless it was a very well known teacher to me. Then I would have stepped outside and asked what the heck they were doing at my home? I love my son's teacher but this would drive me crazy. 4 days off and they send a teacher around? If you were being held hostage I'm sure they would be a great help!