Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School coming to home to view sick child - Normal?

719 replies

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 10:59

I'm feeling really sensitive right now due to work stress so please be kind.

My 5 year old is off with chicken pox right now. He got the spots on Sunday, he's been quite poorly with it Monday - Tuesday, very sleepy, then very uncomfortable Weds waiting for the scabs to form. He's just started to feel better today but the school have an INSET day tomorrow anyway.

We just had a knock at the door, and it was a teacher from DS's school! He was very reluctant to come downstairs because he's only in his pants and thought the teacher was there to take him to school. She was very nice and said it's sad that they have to do this in this day and age but it's completely normal and they do it for everyone who's been off this length of time.

He's been off for 4 days? His older sister is at school so we've still done the school run every day. To be fair as it's an inset day tomorrow it will be over a week by the time he goes back on Monday. But I've never had a teacher come unannounced to our house to check on our child. Can someone reassure me it is actually normal and they don't think something bad of us! My poor boy is just ill. I've called him in and updated, updated again this morning saying he would be back on Monday!

OP posts:
WalkingThroughTreacle · 16/03/2023 16:15

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 15:59

Yes it is, if you see my update's you'll see that the school have clarified this is a blanket policy and that multiple children have been visited.

Show quote history

Perhaps you should clarify for them that their policies do not somehow give them special legal powers or authority. They might want to come to your door and demand to have eyes on your child but they have absolutely no right to do so, regardless of whatever policies they decide to create.

Original poster
CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 16:17

Laiste · 16/03/2023 16:14

It's not ''last resort'' here.

As i said, my DDs friend in year 4 got a visit simply because she had had 4/5 days off in one term. The mum asked to go into school and talk about it and that is what she was told.

She didn't know it was policy. Neither did i till she told me!

Thanks, other posters have also mentioned their schools have similarly hidden policies around absence. I'm wondering if it's a safeguarding measure designed to stop parents exploiting it?

OP posts:
Lisbeinpar · 16/03/2023 16:18

I would call up the school and ask if they were aware of this teachers visit? I don’t think this is normal policy

Original poster
CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 16:18

WalkingThroughTreacle · 16/03/2023 16:15

Perhaps you should clarify for them that their policies do not somehow give them special legal powers or authority. They might want to come to your door and demand to have eyes on your child but they have absolutely no right to do so, regardless of whatever policies they decide to create.

Show quote history

I totally get the urge to do this, I did let them know I was upset that my son had been upset! Unfortunately though I imagine a reaction like that would just raise red flags, they saw my spotty little one and went happily on there way, although it ruffled my feathers I imagine much greater intrusions would have been made had I failed to comply. Such is having kids in the UK I guess.

OP posts:
Lovelyveg82 · 16/03/2023 16:18

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 16:13

I don't think I'm going to engage with you further, it comes across as though you're interrogating me as if there must be more to this than the fact that my son has been off for 4 days with chicken pox. The school have already confirmed this is completely standard procedure. I wouldn't know as neither of my children have even been off for 4 days before.

With all due respect I take their word over someone on the internet who doesn't even know who are local council is let alone the school, so as said, I won't be answering intrusive questions that are trying to glean unnecessary information out of me.

The thread is continuing because people have moved on to discussing the general principle of what has happened, my actual case has been solved, as it were, as I have contacted the school and they have come back to me.

I don't know if you know this but professional institutions like schools are mandated to inform parents if any concerns have been raised by them to social services. So if there actually was any "bigger picture" that I myself, as my DC's mother, weren't aware of, they would be obliged to tell me so. As in, if there were actual concerns which resulted in a home visit, they would not be able to lie and fob me off and pretend it's standard procedure if it actually isn't.

Show quote history

Ok guessing very poor relations with the school and there is a rather large back story

Original poster
CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 16:19

Lovelyveg82 · 16/03/2023 16:18

Ok guessing very poor relations with the school and there is a rather large back story

Show quote history

Of course that's your guess Grin

OP posts:
Lovelyveg82 · 16/03/2023 16:20

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 16:19

Of course that's your guess Grin

Show quote history

Yup 😂

Namechangethisonetime · 16/03/2023 16:20

Dinoboymama · 16/03/2023 11:16

The only time our school would do a home check is if no one has been in contact with them to report and absence and phone calls home had gone unanswered.

My kids have been off for ten days before and no one came to visit as we had contacted them to let them know they were unwell.

Hmm yea I’m wondering if this is the case.

I currently have my older child at home ill with a fairly bad flu/infection, and I haven’t made contact with his teacher at all. He’s been off all week.
Our other child has been in school all week though, dropped off & picked up by either myself or dh. I guess if they were concerned they would ask at pickup.

BertyMyrtle · 16/03/2023 16:29

Haven’t RTFT but if it’s a small school, this may be just a policy they have. It’s actually hugely positive, when you think of poor children like Arthur Labinjo-Hughes who were off school and weren’t checked upon. Thankfully the vast majority of parents have nothing to hide, but if it even helps one child out, it’s a great policy.

AussieMozzieMagnet · 16/03/2023 16:33

The intrusiveness is beyond the pale. We have to stop these schools running our lives. It was never like this when I was a child - we all just got on with it.

Time to stand up to these institutions who are acting like Big Brother.

Laiste · 16/03/2023 16:33

BertyMyrtle · 16/03/2023 16:29

Haven’t RTFT but if it’s a small school, this may be just a policy they have. It’s actually hugely positive, when you think of poor children like Arthur Labinjo-Hughes who were off school and weren’t checked upon. Thankfully the vast majority of parents have nothing to hide, but if it even helps one child out, it’s a great policy.

Totally.

But it should be a well 'publicised' part of the school policy.

adriftinadenofvipers · 16/03/2023 16:35

@CandlelightGlow just ignore the Unlovely wan - they'd fight with their own toenails.

I find it very strange that teachers would have time to carry out homechecks, totally bizarre. That would surely be the role of education welfare people? It's bizarre from the point of view of the teacher. Arriving unannounced to the homes of parents not knowing what the reception will be is also odd.

You obviously haven't been singled out but I wonder about the validity of that as a policy, even under safeguarding?

Only ever had a teacher come to the house once. Principal of the nursery unit visited the homes of all of the new intake before they started. She was just a nosey bitch though!

Sartre · 16/03/2023 16:36

Highly unusual and I’m honestly surprised the teacher had time to do this! A phone call as a welfare check of kinds may be more suitable than turning up unannounced at your home.

My DC had a week off for chicken pox in early KS1 as well. I got a telling off in their end of year report for their poor attendance as a result… Wankers. Worth noting they’re all much older now and doing just fine despite the week of reception/year 1 missed with chicken pox!

Seashor · 16/03/2023 16:38

Those people who think it’s odd probably don’t work in education. My head is often out and about doing this type of thing. It’s all part of safeguarding. You should be pleased and reassured that there are agencies out there proactive in looking out for children.

Grimbleton · 16/03/2023 16:40

I haven’t RTFT but our primary has recently introduced a similar policy. My understanding is it’s due to the school being under significant pressure to improve their attendance %. Perhaps your school is similar and the visit is nothing to do with you/safeguarding concerns etc.

MajorCarolDanvers · 16/03/2023 16:41

A teacher doesn't actually have the legal right to demand to have eyes on a child in their private home.

Plus what a waste of resources.

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 16/03/2023 16:43

Normal
My daughter had covid but we were in turkey ( we left that part out ) someone from.her school turned up to check on her but we weren't in the country
They fined us

Hellybelly84 · 16/03/2023 16:48

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 16/03/2023 15:08

Every case starts somewhere.

It’s far better to have a standard policy - “if X happens we do Y” “if parents don’t phone in for x days we do Y”.

The Op herself has said there is regular lateness and she had forgotten to ring in each day so it’s not just a family with an excellent attendance record.

Making sure there are no missed opportunities has to start somewhere.

Show quote history

Ive never heard of this policy anywhere and what happens when the child doesn’t live near the school? I mentioned in another post my child wont be anywhere near the school from next September - im doubtful any teacher would take 2 hours out of the day for a round trip to check on one child (if I had already called in that week to say they had an infectious virus). She had already called in to say chicken pox so the school shouldn’t have been expecting the child back that week anyway.

The only circumstance I can see this is acceptable is the child not turning up at school, parent not calling in at all and the school being unable to make contact with the parents (mobile/home/work etc). That would justify a welfare check.

Hellybelly84 · 16/03/2023 16:50

HaveANiceFuckingDay · 16/03/2023 16:43

Normal
My daughter had covid but we were in turkey ( we left that part out ) someone from.her school turned up to check on her but we weren't in the country
They fined us

You should have said you didnt answer the door because you had Covid and didn’t want to spread germs 😀

FeetupTvon · 16/03/2023 16:50

Every school is very different.
My school, no.
My son’s secondary school, yes.
However it wouldn’t be a teacher it would be a pastoral worker.

SmileyClare · 16/03/2023 16:52

What a waste of resources

I have to agree. It sounds like a box ticking exercise to satisfy Ofsted to me.

Even the teacher in this situation was hugely apologetic and muttering about school policy.

Its likely neglectful parents/ chaotic or abusive households would simply not answer the door or engage.

In addition what is a home visit proving? It’s not negating abuse or neglect, all it proves is pupil X is at their home address with an adult.

Perhaps there should be a welfare checker employed on a pro rata basis to carry out this role if it so valuable.

Expecting teaching staff (or as upthread the headmaster) to drive round to pupils houses- some way out of catchment area- is an odd use of qualified teaching staff time.

Original poster
CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 16:56

FeetupTvon · 16/03/2023 16:50

Every school is very different.
My school, no.
My son’s secondary school, yes.
However it wouldn’t be a teacher it would be a pastoral worker.

Sorry I did misuse the word teacher, she did call me and is some kind of pastoral worker, I can't remember exactly which word she used! I didn't answer the door myself but it definitely wasn't any of the class teachers.

OP posts:
SiobhanSharpe · 16/03/2023 17:12

starfishmummy · 16/03/2023 11:58

My DP said he's here and fine but doesn't want to come down, teacher responded with "I need to have eyes on him"

At which point I would have asked for proof of her medical qualification. And then firmly closed the door.

This. You are not obliged to let them see your DC, or even let them in.
Teachers (or other school staff) do not have a 'statutory right of entry to your home.'
Educational welfare officers may or may not (unsure) but if they have serious concerns they could turn up with the police, I suppose.

LostFrog · 16/03/2023 17:17

I haven’t read the whole thread, but I work in a school. We do welfare checks if we haven’t had eyes on for a couple of weeks. The local authority expects this as part of safeguarding responsibilities. If a parent refused to allow us to see the child, we would involve other services, including PCSOs if necessary. The crazy thing is that if a parent takes a child off roll, who checks then? No one.
4 days is a bit weird though.

Nocutenamesleft · 16/03/2023 17:34

CandlelightGlow · 16/03/2023 11:39

Also I've been scouring their website and they have absolutely no information about sickness policy. The only statement in relation to absence is that they do not authorise leave in term time anymore.

Oh my god. I’m so glad I homeschool. I couldn’t be doing with all this! I felt like I was always doing the wrong thing with the school. Used to be horrible especially seeing as I had a severe school refuser!