To tell DH to stop grunting?

107 replies

GlowDown · 15/03/2023 22:41

I'm 36. DH is 43. Two little kids.

DH is really REALLY leaning into middle age. He wants to talk about road works with me. Naps on the sofa all the time

The thing he does though is he grunts. Especially when falling asleep but also just generally...loud clearing of the throat, grunts, grumbles, mumbles words to himself, says "errrrrrrr" all the time. He also sneezes so loudly it makes our kids cry...like 14 sneezes in a row.

Anyway its doing my head in. And I might have snapped at him to stop grunting and groaning all day and he said now he's not comfortable in my own house. I feel like I'm living with an OAP though

Do I sound unreasonable/stuck up? I'm trying not let it wind me up but GOD.

OP posts:

Objectionhearsayspeculation · 16/03/2023 13:17

Mine does the sofa nap thing but I have noticed it seems to be when we are (2 Dds and myself) watching something on tv he doesn't like or talking about something he isn't interested in, he seems to wake up sharpish if it's something of interest. We absolutely don't take advantage and take over Netflix at the weekend
He also does the loud sneezing, we have one cat who is a bundle of nerves and she hates it, she literally jumps so high it's like a cartoon! The other however is bomb proof so he gets revenge by running over the top of DH at stupid o'clock in the morning and stealing socks, funny enough he doesn't do this to the rest of us.

Mamette · 16/03/2023 18:54

Reallybadidea · 16/03/2023 08:20

DH is great. Genuinely, he is really thoughtful and kind and hard working. But my god, the noises.

When he cleans his teeth, he has makes an insanely loud retching noise at the end before he spits. It actually makes me want to be sick but just settle for "shut up" under my breath. And when he performs any parking manoeuvre, he grunts as though he's a stone age man rolling stone monoliths on tree trunks. I'm relieved to hear other men do the same though, I feel less alone!

I haven’t laughed so hard at a post on MN for bloody ages 😂

mildlydispeptic · 17/03/2023 07:01

And to all those scream sneezers saying they can't help it: Yes, you fucking can like the rest of us. You just don't want to.

BansheeofInisherin · 17/03/2023 08:21

Wait until you get to peri-menopause and develop misophonia/rage. DH is slurping his coffee right now. I want to kill him. I know for a fact that he doesn't slurp in public. So why does he do it at home? Because he can.

IMarchToADifferentDrummer · 17/03/2023 08:34

Get him a health check up at the Drs, if you can actually see one.
If all comes back fine, you're just gonna have to start nagging him!!
Tbh though, I think our bodies start changing around middle age so it may be something to do with that. Like I used to love nuts and fruit, could eat them all day long, but now can only have little amounts now & then.
So, like with his sneezing, it may be something that is irritating his sinuses. Grunting as he moves could be because he needs an extra heave-ho to get up. Moaning at things could be boredom, or he could be feeling a bit depressed!
Poor man is probably feeling a bit picked on.

MissMogwai · 19/03/2023 09:13

The fucking sneezing. Started 5 years ago or so, my husband sneezes so loudly and dramatically I can't bear it.

He says he can't help it but never does it in public so I'm doubtful.

He also does the exaggerated huffing and puffing when getting up from his chair/bed/getting dressed in the morning. You'd think he's off for a shift down the mines not going into the kitchen for a brew.
He springs right up for golf or off to the pub though, no staggered performance then...

The onset of peri menopause means my tolerance levels are very low, plus I'm sure he could write lots of things about me!

My2pence2day · 19/03/2023 10:09

Omg ladies, I'm sorry for you pain, but it makes me feel so much better I'm not alone in my silent fury 😁

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