To tell DH to stop grunting?

[GlowDown]

I'm 36. DH is 43. Two little kids.

DH is really REALLY leaning into middle age. He wants to talk about road works with me. Naps on the sofa all the time

The thing he does though is he grunts. Especially when falling asleep but also just generally...loud clearing of the throat, grunts, grumbles, mumbles words to himself, says "errrrrrrr" all the time. He also sneezes so loudly it makes our kids cry...like 14 sneezes in a row.

Anyway its doing my head in. And I might have snapped at him to stop grunting and groaning all day and he said now he's not comfortable in my own house. I feel like I'm living with an OAP though

Do I sound unreasonable/stuck up? I'm trying not let it wind me up but GOD.

God this thread is cathartic.

It really is

My husband ys the same. He mutters and huffs and puffs. He sounds like Kevin and Perry or mutley (for those old enough to understand). It's infuriating.

I started calling this "old people noises" whenever it happened. İt has reduced somewhat.

I detest dramatic operatic sneezing that uses vocal cords, theres no medical reason to shout while sneezing. 14 in a row would see me in police custody.

OMG, the constant noises! The grunting and lip smacking ... how does anyone even eat that loudly?

Manspreading is so right!

It's all so exaggerated. A full woe is me performance of how hard he has it. All within that single moan or groan or sigh.

I am a fellow sufferer with a shout-sneezing dh who also grunts and lot and generally fills the air with noise, talking to himself, clanking cutlery, singing, grunting etc

It IS a sort of aural man-spreading - that's exactly it!!

But I raise you the....trumpet-nose-blowing! Now that's the one that REALLY annoys me. LOUD motherfucking PAAAAAAAARRRRRRPPPPPPPPP every bloody time he blows his nose. It makes me murderous and actually causes rows between us as he'll do it late at night or early in the morning and it's loud enough to wake anyone who might be sleeping

It's ANNOYING aaaarrrgh

I'd kill him for the sneezes and I don't even know your husband, so YANBU 😂

I feel your pain - although mine is 61. I have been known to tell him if he can't breathe quietly then stop breathing - especially in bed.
He blows his nose really loudly even when there's clearly nothing there to blow and whilst he can stay awake on the sofa for hours on end watching back to back crap on Netflix, the minute I have the remote control he falls asleep on the sofa emitting moaning and groaning noises.

He has no health conditions that would contribute to this annoying behaviour - healthy diet, only works 4 days pw, regular exercise. It's most unattractive.

In terms of the number of sneezes, apparently that is something you are pre disposed to so you will find you often if not always do the same number of sneezes. A loud sneeze is satisfying though! My other half does about nine, not loud though.

Absolutely, but you’d think he’d have cottoned on by now!

The shout sneeze, and I know it's put on because he doesn't do it when he sneezes in his sleep. He also kicks up a leg like a can-can dancer while doing it

My dad does this! And the trumpet nose blowing.

It’s male socialisation, for sure.

Ugh, my dad does this. Typical boomer-generation male, never expected to be presentable or make an effort to be pro-social, while wife does everything.

The shout-sneezes are awful. When I was younger, I'd be on the phone to someone and it would sound like my dad was screaming "HIT YOU!!! HIT YOU!!!" from the next room, and they'd be terrified.

I think some men give up on having any kind of adult identity or dignity, and society facilitates that by giving them a free pass. Women don't tend to get that kind of pass.

OP, It needs nipping in the bud for his own sake. He deserves to have some pride and make the same effort as everyone else. No, it shouldn't be your job to do this, but it is what it is.

Sounds extreme, but it's one of the reasons I vowed to avoid men who didn't take care of themselves, their appearance, and how they come across to others. So far, so good!

Me too. Honestly I can't help it! I agree moaning and groaning is unnecessary, but my sneezes are loud, sudden, and often come with little notice. I try to sneeze into my elbow to muffle them but I can't really 'stop' them!

If I were at a funeral and had a sneezing fit I'd have to leave the room.

I used to be mildly irritated I don't do a little gentle achoo, now I'm feeling very self conscious. Luckily DH thinks it's funny and doesn't want to LTB. Yet.

My husband also breathes too loudly, which gets on my very last nerve.

In his defence, he has broken his nose a couple of times which has caused it. However...he can control the sighing and general low level whinging.

A few weeks ago, my son caught a D&V bug, which i also picked up, and we just had the 'V' version.
My husband came out unscathed, but actually pretended that he had the 'D' version, to elicit some sympathy from me.
There was zero sympathy forthcoming from me. 🤨

Another thing he does is come home in a bad mood, which i fucking loathe, but if someone phones him, he instantly perks up and is Mr Life and Soul of the Party.

My dh does all these things too! Add on blaring out the radio sports commentary in the kitchen whenever he goes in there, so loud that I can't hear the tv when I'm in the lounge. Then lots of huffing puffing and tutting when I ask him to turn it down a bit (and eye rolling)!

The trumpet nose blowing!!! Drives me mad but what really gets me is that I'll be talking to him about something and he'll start doing it randomly standing right in front of me, so loud I can't hear my own voice, so I stop talking and patiently wait til he's finished the trumpet performance.

One thing he doesn't do thank god is loud gut busting belches, it's ok though - my df and my fil have those covered!!

I honestly think that if i was to find myself single again, i'd be more than happy to stay that way forever.

@GlowDown You say your DH states that he enjoys sneezing loudly like this? Yet you also said it makes your poor little kids cry? So he enjoys terrifying his children to tears. Wow. Sexy

What a horrible man

It's a member of my close family for me. She loudly moans like some sort of porn star when she yawns. It makes me murderous so I told her - apparently noise when you yawn is absolutely necessary. Funny, because I manage perfectly fine without

Agree. Sorry OP but I'd be outta there before he finds another boundary-pushing exercise to "enjoy".

That would drive me wild. Men's disgusting habits are the reason I'm single 😂

My boss used to do scream sneezing in the middle of meetings. She never noticed how pissed off everyone looked. She was oblivious.

I'm really grateful for my DH now, he doesn't do that many of the things here AND he's great at DIY.
I should probably be nicer to him 😂

My DH is a loud sneezer too. It’s unbearable. He does this huge ‘WAAAAAAAA-CHOOOOOO’ shout and a little dramatic stumble backwards with a bewildered expression to illustrate the power of his sneeze.

His brother does it too, maybe it’s genetic. Fucking irritating either way.