Because I don't have kids. Well, I've chosen not to have kids yet. I'm 27 and haven't met the right person, plus I want to buy my own place first and have been saving up towards a deposit for the last few years. My close friend of 10 years has 4 children. Her marriage broke down a couple of years ago. I know it must be hard but her ex is still involved in the kids lives and has them often so it's not like he isn't around. Friend keeps saying that I'm "lucky" because I don't have children. I wouldn't class myself as lucky, just that we made different life choices. It's starting to annoy me. AIBU?
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AIBU?
Mangogogogo ·
14/03/2023 09:14
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
specialk9 ·
14/03/2023 09:14
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
takealettermsjones ·
14/03/2023 09:15
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
Bagsundermyeyestoday ·
14/03/2023 09:15
takealettermsjones · 14/03/2023 09:12
I think you're seeing this the wrong way. Her saying you're lucky is shorthand for "I'm really struggling and if I'd known I would have ended up a single parent I might have made different decisions and sometimes I really wish I had your life."
HistoryFanatic ·
14/03/2023 09:16
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
Mangogogogo ·
14/03/2023 09:18
Adelant · 14/03/2023 09:17
I don’t think it’s up to child free people to support people who choose to have 4 children.
Maybe she wants a moan or maybe she is hinting at OP to help her.
EVHead · 14/03/2023 09:12
It sounds like she’s struggling. Maybe she needs your support?
JamJarJane ·
14/03/2023 09:18
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
drpet49 ·
14/03/2023 09:24
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
passthegingordon ·
14/03/2023 09:25
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
WandaWonder ·
14/03/2023 09:27
santaclaritadiet5 · 14/03/2023 09:09
Because I don't have kids. Well, I've chosen not to have kids yet. I'm 27 and haven't met the right person, plus I want to buy my own place first and have been saving up towards a deposit for the last few years. My close friend of 10 years has 4 children. Her marriage broke down a couple of years ago. I know it must be hard but her ex is still involved in the kids lives and has them often so it's not like he isn't around. Friend keeps saying that I'm "lucky" because I don't have children. I wouldn't class myself as lucky, just that we made different life choices. It's starting to annoy me. AIBU?
Ihatethenewlook ·
14/03/2023 09:28
HistoryFanatic · 14/03/2023 09:16
Only say this if you are a dick.
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
takealettermsjones ·
14/03/2023 09:34
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:28
The op knows this person so knows how to take her. We don’t, so I‘m taking the op at face value in that she’s saying it in a way to get under the op’s skin. I know a school mum who was like this, constantly put people down for her own poor life choices, including the ‘you’re so lucky you’ve only got the 1/2 kids’, she also had 4. ‘Oh you’re so lucky you’ve got a job, I’d love to be able to get away from the house for a few hours a day’. Her youngest is 8 and she has family on tap for babysitting, literally nothing stopping her getting a job. She was ostracised for years at the school gates after a school trip to a theme park, where she remarked to the mums how lucky it was that one of the disabled children (in a wheelchair) didn’t have to queue for the rides. I’m pretty sure it was her being a dick, and not everyone else.
HistoryFanatic · 14/03/2023 09:16
Only say this if you are a dick.
Ihatethenewlook · 14/03/2023 09:13
It’s annoying but not hard to shut down really. Just repeat ‘it’s a decision, not luck, I want to get my life in order first’. I’d be tempted to go a bit further and tell her ‘I’ve decided to wait until I found the right person, rather than be a single mum to 4 kids’.
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