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Original poster

Single bathroom drama

100 replies

CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:30

Dd is horrible to get up in the morning. She is grumpy and now 12, too big for me to pull out of her mid sleeper, so we clash. Last night we decided that I would 'wake her up properly' instead of going in then popping back every 5 minutes to shake her or tell her to get up, which goes on for about 40 minutes and drives me mad. I didn't want to do it anymore.

This morning I manage to wake her up and just as she is about to get up for a shower, dp goes into the bathroom for a poo. Bad timing, not his fault, nature calls etc etc but I said 'oh no, you're doing a poo.'

He got really upset, saying I shouldn't have said it, I shouldn't comment on his poos etc etc. I wasn't saying it as a dig at him, more out of frustration at the situation.

Was I wrong to say anything? Obviously no issue with him pooing but frustration at the clash of timing as I had battled so hard to wake dd up, about 10 minutes of duvet fighting.

Ugh. Am I awful?

He didn't poo by the way, but huffed off and said 'there, I didn't poo.' It turns out he didn't actually need to in the end as he has got up 2 hours earlier than normal today as he is going to work early.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:31

Also, to clarify, if he had done a poo, I would have just taken her downstairs or something, wouldn't have been an issue. I was just saying 'oh no'

Ugh

OP posts:
Clymene · 14/03/2023 06:33

What a massive drama he is making over it.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:33

Yes I thought so. I tried to shut it down but he said I was the one making the big deal.

OP posts:
BowiesJumper · 14/03/2023 06:41

Well it WOULD have been inconvenient for him to walse into the bathroom and do a poo when he must have been aware you were trying to get your daughter in there. So I don’t see that you did anything wrong! He’s an adult and can hold it in for 10 mins or whatever.

BadgerFacedCoo · 14/03/2023 06:46

Eurgh who wants a shower straight after a poo. Even without the inconvenience to you it's not considerate to your dd.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:47

@BowiesJumper yes! It was very inconvenient! He could hear me getting her out of bed. He even popped into the room so was well aware, and was aware she was having a shower as he'd heard us discussing the time I was going to get her up the night before.

He has finally realised I don't want him in there pooing while I'm in the shower. I had to lock the door to make my point.

No idea why he couldn't judge the situation and understand my frustration.

Anyway, he usually sleeps until we're gone so back to that tomorrow!

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:48

@BadgerFacedCoo I said that too, but he just said 'oh sorry, my poos smell'

Thing is he sits in there for 20 mins on his phone letting the smell linger which makes it a million times worse

OP posts:
Againstmachine · 14/03/2023 06:49

Your daughter maybe 12 but you both sound like you need to grow up.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:49

But if I even suggested he could hold it for 15 mins while she goes in, nope. He would be incredulous.

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Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:49

@Againstmachine me? Why?

OP posts:
crossstitchingnana · 14/03/2023 06:50

Christ, if the man needs a poo he needs a poo. I can't hang on even if a family member needs a shower. Downside of having a loo in the bathroom.

Clymene · 14/03/2023 06:50

CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:47

@BowiesJumper yes! It was very inconvenient! He could hear me getting her out of bed. He even popped into the room so was well aware, and was aware she was having a shower as he'd heard us discussing the time I was going to get her up the night before.

He has finally realised I don't want him in there pooing while I'm in the shower. I had to lock the door to make my point.

No idea why he couldn't judge the situation and understand my frustration.

Anyway, he usually sleeps until we're gone so back to that tomorrow!

Ah, so he's a man who uses his shit to assert his dominance over you and now he's doing it over your daughter too?

Nice.

Snugglemonkey · 14/03/2023 06:51

BadgerFacedCoo · 14/03/2023 06:46

Eurgh who wants a shower straight after a poo. Even without the inconvenience to you it's not considerate to your dd.

Definitely this.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:51

@crossstitchingnana I completely agree. I also think there was nothing wrong with me saying 'oh no.' No issue if he had gone for a poo. That's the whole point. If he needed to go, then go, but don't get pissed off with me for airing frustration at the situation.

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 14/03/2023 06:52

We have a 15 year old DD2, she hates getting up in the morning. So she showers at night and has her own alarm. Her lift to the bus (me or DH as we take it in turns) leaves at 7am on the dot, with or without her. She’s only ever missed it once in the 3 years we’ve had these rules and I made her email the school herself and explain.

I won’t do battle with waking anyone in the morning, it’s bad enough having to get myself up.

maybe some of that would help you?

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:52

@Clymene yep I do think so. He got so annoyed when I locked the door when I was in the bathroom last year. Really brought up a lot for us to talk about.

OP posts:
Clymene · 14/03/2023 06:53

crossstitchingnana · 14/03/2023 06:50

Christ, if the man needs a poo he needs a poo. I can't hang on even if a family member needs a shower. Downside of having a loo in the bathroom.

But he didn't need a poo. He just wanted to show everyone who is boss. Grim.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:55

@LisaD1 I thought about banning morning showers but she gets upset as her hair isn't straight enough in the morning if she sleeps on it after an evening shower. She then proceeds to spend 30 minutes straightening it.

I do however agree she needs an alarm. She hates them but I was thinking I could get a gentler one that a phone.

I need to stop micro managing it, you're right, and let her suffer the consequences.

Her and her dad sleep for England, so hard to wake up. No real reason, good amount of sleep, she's really fit and healthy. Just a battle with both of them all the time

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:56

@Clymene this is true. He just went in there to sit in case he needed on. No desperation at all.

OP posts:
Ella505 · 14/03/2023 06:56

What a drama over nothing. You all need to give your heads a wobble.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:58

@Ella505 there was no drama on my part. I said 'oh, you're doing a poo.' Dp went off on one. End of. So what, I was frustrated as I had been duvet fighting for ten minutes. So shoot me.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:59

@Ella505 sometimes the little things reveal bigger issues, which I think is the case here and I need to set boundaries. No head wobbling needed

OP posts:
Quitelikeacatslife · 14/03/2023 07:01

I used to battle with my son every morning in y7 to get up and out, decided enough was enough, bought him big clock for bedroom, and set alarm on phone and it's up to him , discussed when he needs to leave to catch train etc and consequences if he's late (also school will deal with that ) it's so much better. Just bought shower clock as well as he was taking too long and keeping us all waiting it has a 10 min timer

Snugglemonkey · 14/03/2023 07:01

CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 06:59

@Ella505 sometimes the little things reveal bigger issues, which I think is the case here and I need to set boundaries. No head wobbling needed

Indeed. This man has no respect for you or dad. That is the issue.

Original poster
CheeseDreamsTonight · 14/03/2023 07:02

@Quitelikeacatslife thank you for the input, I need to do this and the shower clock is a brilliant idea.

OP posts: