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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not much diversity at son's school putting me off

140 replies

agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:23

AIBU ? My local area is quite diverse. However the preschool my son attends is not diverse at all.

It's part of a prep school. I feel a bit put off by it.

Would it put you off ? Ideally the school should reflect the local culture, but in this case it does not at all.

OP posts:
JMSA · 13/03/2023 20:25

Send him to the local school nursery then.

Albiboba · 13/03/2023 20:26

Are prep schools known for being diverse?

If you’re so interested in diversity what is wrong with a state school?

ClarificationNeeded · 13/03/2023 20:27

By going to a private school, isn't lack of diversity exactly what you are paying for?

x2boys · 13/03/2023 20:27

I expect you will find more diversity in an LEA nursery .

RunTowardsTheLight · 13/03/2023 20:28

I agree OP that I would find this off putting.

Original poster
agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:28

Albiboba · 13/03/2023 20:26

Are prep schools known for being diverse?

If you’re so interested in diversity what is wrong with a state school?

I hadn't made my mind up about state or private, but heard good things about this nursery / preschool. We will also apply to local state schools.

But the lack of diversity is putting me off.

OP posts:
Hawkins003 · 13/03/2023 20:28

agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:23

AIBU ? My local area is quite diverse. However the preschool my son attends is not diverse at all.

It's part of a prep school. I feel a bit put off by it.

Would it put you off ? Ideally the school should reflect the local culture, but in this case it does not at all.

How's that the schools fault, surely it should be pupils by merit and if a mix of people don't apply then naturally it will end up being one dominant type of people ?

Lolaandbehold · 13/03/2023 20:29

You’re not going to get much diversity at a prep school, generally speaking.

Original poster
agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:29

@Hawkins003 I don't think it's anyone's fault. I just think I would prefer a mix of kids to reflect the local community more.

OP posts:
Moopsi · 13/03/2023 20:29

Of course private schools don't reflect the local community/culture. 🤷‍♀️

Hawkins003 · 13/03/2023 20:29

@agagahag in an idea world surely it should be the best suitable rather than just having a mix selection to be politically correct?

Albiboba · 13/03/2023 20:30

agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:28

I hadn't made my mind up about state or private, but heard good things about this nursery / preschool. We will also apply to local state schools.

But the lack of diversity is putting me off.

Show quote history

So don’t send him, problem solved.

It seems weird to seek out the nursery of a private prep school and then complain it doesn’t reflect the ‘local culture’. Presumably the local culture would be reflected at the LA nursery school and primary but some choose to pay for the ‘filter’ that a prep school offers.

Original poster
agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:31

Well I would expect there to be a mixture of children at this school. One group dominates the entire school. We are not part of that group.

OP posts:
StillWantingADog · 13/03/2023 20:32

a prep school will never reflect the local diversity of the neighbourhood! The catchment will be much larger for starters.

did you really not realise this?

Soontobe60 · 13/03/2023 20:32

agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:28

I hadn't made my mind up about state or private, but heard good things about this nursery / preschool. We will also apply to local state schools.

But the lack of diversity is putting me off.

Show quote history

By paying for a private education you are automatically limiting the diversity your child is exposed to. There will be very few children with SEN, very few children living in poverty, very few children who are refugees. By diversity, do you mean ethnicity?

Hawkins003 · 13/03/2023 20:32

agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:31

Well I would expect there to be a mixture of children at this school. One group dominates the entire school. We are not part of that group.

Usually I'd guess it would be down to the parents applying and what factors may have put other parents off, that could explain the situation

DojaPhat · 13/03/2023 20:33

What angle are you approaching this from? Are you / your son a POC (I absolutely hate that term), and worrying that your son won't fit in/ will struggle or be ostracised as a result of not being white?

x2boys · 13/03/2023 20:33

agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:29

@Hawkins003 I don't think it's anyone's fault. I just think I would prefer a mix of kids to reflect the local community more.

With the best will.in the world the prep school.can only reflect ,the members of the community who can afford to.send their kids there
obviously a state school is going to.have a more diverse mix

Hawkins003 · 13/03/2023 20:34

x2boys · 13/03/2023 20:33

With the best will.in the world the prep school.can only reflect ,the members of the community who can afford to.send their kids there
obviously a state school is going to.have a more diverse mix

Show quote history

Exactly, if it's capital investment involved then it will be the parents that one can afford it, and two want to invest in their children's education

FlounderingFruitcake · 13/03/2023 20:34

Private schools are never going to be an accurate representation of a community because only 7% of kids are privately educated, and they’re going to be predominantly from very well off families. It surely can’t come as a surprise? But pick another school if it’s not for you, you’re entitled to use whatever criteria you like when deciding what’s best for your DC.

Moopsi · 13/03/2023 20:35

You could look at it the other way and "be the change". Bring whatever your diversity is into that community and make it more diverse.

Hawkins003 · 13/03/2023 20:36

agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:29

@Hawkins003 I don't think it's anyone's fault. I just think I would prefer a mix of kids to reflect the local community more.

Which I can understand, but I'd go with better value for money and a better quality of education as being the overall.main importance, especially some of the behaviour issues that are associated with state schools

Original poster
agagahag · 13/03/2023 20:36

DojaPhat · 13/03/2023 20:33

What angle are you approaching this from? Are you / your son a POC (I absolutely hate that term), and worrying that your son won't fit in/ will struggle or be ostracised as a result of not being white?

Well, so. The school is dominated by kids from a certain background, which we are not part of. I would like my kid to go to a school that's not dominated by kids from only one background.

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 13/03/2023 20:36

Send him somewhere else then.

I don't understand the point of the AIBU. You have choices, so use them.

Blondebalayage · 13/03/2023 20:36

Our local private school certainly has more of a mixture of ethnicities than the state one, although of course it isn’t diverse in terms of income.