Not much diversity at son's school putting me off

[agagahag]

AIBU ? My local area is quite diverse. However the preschool my son attends is not diverse at all.

It's part of a prep school. I feel a bit put off by it.

Would it put you off ? Ideally the school should reflect the local culture, but in this case it does not at all.

Then it was a really odd choice to pick a prep school, wasn't it?

I'll third this DD goes to a small private school and it is much more diverse ethnically than the state school she attended.

But then we are not in a diverse area we are about 85% white British then I suspect the next would be white European.

Plus has a fairly high amount of SEN, in fact we moved her because she wasn't getting any support in the state school system.

In non selective private schools I suspect that there might be high levels of SEN as the state SEN provision is often poor. We certainly didn't plan to be paying for education but we now seem to be!

OP you mention the preschool not being diverse at all. Is the school definitely the same? I only ask because I live in a very diverse area and my dc go to a local school right next to a large teaching hospital and there are several multinational companies in the area so people are from all over the globe. However the preschool next door to the school that my DD attends isn't as diverse because the numbers in that setting are far smaller and children need to have their names down when they are about a year old to guarantee a pre school spot so many families who are newish to the area wouldn't necessarily have their children's names down for pre school.

Prep schools are expensive for most people. Parents are paying for small non disrupted classes with nice kids.
So no they aren't really ever diverse.
Most of us can't afford them

I don’t know whether some posters with strong opinions on private schools actually have kids in private schools, but my experience is very different from theirs - our DCs go to independent schools that are very ethnically diverse. This was important to me as I’m first generation British (though white) and my children are mixed race (DH is British Asian).

There are some prep schools in our area that, while open to all, are very popular with specific communities/ethnicities. I can think of one that is predominantly Indian, one Chinese and one white British. We specifically did not choose any of these for DCs as we wanted them to have a diverse friends group. I have Asian friends who have expressed exactly the same views about not wanting their kids to go to Asian preps, or indeed white or Chinese preps. Thankfully we are also well served with truly diverse schools - and yes this includes children with SEN, refugees etc.

There is a difference between a school that welcomes a variety of people, and one where your kid stands out for being different to a homogeneous ethnic group.

OP I think you need to visit other schools and look at alternatives.

Unless there is a negative culture around this at the school, I wouldn't worry about it. I think the fetishization of "diversity" is one of the silliest things ever.

There are different reasons to choose a school, but the biggest is probably always going to be educational concerns. If your child gets a good education at the school and is generally happy and supported, those are the real questions. I'd not go to a school that is a poorer fit educationally just to have "diversity." There's something quite off putting about people's concern that a school dominated by one group is somehow inherently problematic.

I notice that diversity is only desirable when it’s nice middle class diversity.

Its virtually all white in my town and indeed much of the county. Literally perhaps 2 or 3 kids that arent in a school of many hundreds.

You can"t expect things to change if you have the opportunity to bring about that change but choose not to.

My DC's private prep school class is incredibly diverse. 1/3 white English, 1/3 British Asian and 1/3 Black British. In S.E England. I was incredibly surprised.

That might be your experience but that certainly wasn't the case in our decision to send our children to a private school!

Cultural diversity was more prevalent at my son’s prep school than at the local state schools.

If people don't send their children to a school because there is no one of their background at the school then there never will be children of that background at the school.

Be a trendsetter.

The local prep schools near me are largely dominated with kids from the Indian subcontinent.

We are not Indian but I'd have no issue with sending my child to such a school. Though it would be nice to have a balance of ethnicity.

Sadly our finances don't stretch to allow us to afford it

Eh?h This thread is so ODD.

There are rich people of differing ethnic backgrounds Surely international schools prove that?

Plus, it isn't as easy as to just say that OP should be the one to change diversity figures. It isn't as easy as "be a trendsetter" if its going to be detrimental to OP's child's wellbeing. Is the setting going to reflect the community and teach equality through play?

OP, representation matters for children. It impacts their view of themselves. I'd look at how they navigate race in general, talk to them about it. Diversity amongst the children doesn't always equate to equality being fostered in the setting, I realised that after my first. When we viewed DC2's setting, it was then we had lots of questions as the area was not as diverse. We realised that we didn't need to ask questions, it was very evident from the books, toys and activities that celebrating all backgrounds was important to them as a standard, basic starting point. We never had that in the more diverse area, the setting believed that diversity amongst the children was enough which isn't the case.

@SandraCumin That works both ways. There are certain areas in my city that a white person can't go to otherwise they will be attacked.

Well, whether they admit it or not, that seems to be the number 1 priority for most of MN when choosing a school and where to live.

Like a PP says, diversity is fine as long as its the 'right' kind of diversity where their parents are doctors, lawyers etc but not tradespeople or retail staff.

I'm not sure. Irrespective of colour surely it depends on how inclusive and welcoming it is. Whether your child is welcomed and feels comfortable.

Ds's schools were diverse, but many groups form and solidify. Was never a problem because all mixed well, all went to everyone else's parties, but it is true that mixing within a group more does happen. For example we are near a hospital and have large groups of Malaysian, polish and others. And the truth is that the children mix a lot within those groups.

Many mn threads over the years from say a London family Indian or mixed race wanting to move to a quieter place, say Dorset or Gloucester and considering whether their child will be accepted, how many other mixed race families there are. We all have no problem with such a thread.

we are southeast asian. So my kids are the minority here. I’m didnt put my kids in private school because lack of diversity. I’m sorry if i sounds snobbish. But i really regret put my kids in state school despite lots of diversity. My kids have friends and i’m friends with their mum too. The point of view about learning its different. They think the school being too strict for 7 years old, too disciplined, reading everyday its too much, etc. Meanwhile i dont agree, i think kids need to be discplined, need to read more, need to do lots of extracurricular etc. Everytime i concern my voice, the ‘mums friend’ call me posh. It does irritate me as i’m not even white british and i dont feel posh. My friend who put their children in private more or less have the same point of view as me regarding education. My kids gonna change school next september to private school.

Choose an alternative if you are not happy.

A reducing number I expect, but certainly years ago there were people who chose private education or in some cases faith schools because there were fewer ethnic minority children there.

Money plus cultural differences around traditional childcare choices & family lifestyles

Sounds like you expected all white middle class ?

Yes, you can. What a stupid comment.

Oh have a day off.

You should count your lucky stars and check your privilege.

This thread is a nice example of people choosing to define diversity as "displaying the type of variation I want". A post early on pointing out that a private school, by definition, is not diverse got ridiculed by a few.

Do people think that diversity is solely determined by the colour of people's skin?

If you are a naice middle class white family, you will probably have an awful lot more in common with a naice middle class British Asian family, than you will with a white family on the poverty line.

If you don't like the school then move.