To ask for your best "life with a newborn" tips!

[elm26]

I'm 30 weeks and have gone on early mat leave due to Hyperemesis 😢

However, super grateful to be in this position due to many previous miscarriages and I'm planning on using this time to get organised, relax and some gentle exercise.

I've started making a list so I'll be doing all of the usual stuff like washing babies clothes and putting them away in size order etc, I've thought about maybe trying Gousto or Hello Fresh as may be easier to do this for the first few months when we are both knackered?

Any tips, tricks or recommendations to make life easier in the final trimester/early days with a newborn would be so helpful.

Enjoy it and be kind to yourself as it's a tiny tiny snapshot of your snd their lives.

@anotherscroller yup, alternatively you could use silver cups as well. I have them but for me nipple balm did the job and it never seemed to bother ds. They can't be used at the same time though.

Personally, I didn't batch cook a single thing, and it was fine. I don't think I missed a single meal, as if baby couldn't be put down, I made something whilst using the sling. I was making cakes for guests etc pretty soon after birth, so making a sandwich was no problem. So if your manage it, great, but not necessarily necessary.

I'd try to relax in this next few weeks, take the time to go out with your partner if you can with the HG, and enjoy it just being the two of you.

I'd make sure you have a decent water bottle, and a good power bank for your phone, and an Alexa in each room. You can play the radio, make phone calls, or put soothing music on for your baby even if nap trapped. If eating with one hand, have a scissors instead of a knife, to cut up your food. That way you don't need to ask for help, or struggle.

Oh, and SLINGS!!

I'd also say that stages come and go. Personally I didn't find the first few weeks hard, and newborn was certainly not the most sorry deprived bit. But whether you find a stage easy or hard, it's not going to stay that way for long, so enjoy the good times and endure the hard ones.

A lot of people struggle with the newborn period, but many love it. It's not always difficult. I had difficult and painful pregnancies and having the baby was 100% easier than late pregnancy. My house was tidier. My hair was neater. I slept more with a newborn than 6 months before they were born (and after...). So be prepared in case it's hard, by all means, but you may be pleasantly surprised. Post natal was simply the best time of my life birth times.

If you can, make the most of that first few months. We went to concerts and parties with baby in a sling (and baby ear defenders), out to dinner, travelled etc, so things that are much easier with a child that can't move, naps a lot and doesn't require much entertainment. Just being with you is often entertainment enough, so think about things you want to do. Go to museums, art galleries etc if they are your thing, catch up with friends. Soon you'll find yourslf chasing them round soft play, hardly able to finish a sentence with your friend (who is also chasing their kid), so make the most of the relative calm in those first few months.

Best of luck.
It really was the very best of times ❤️

If you have family/friends to help let them

Top tip is breast feed so you don't have to do all the extra work of making bottles etc and you can feed them anywhere.

Second tip is have them sleeping right close to you so you can feed them in the night without having to get out of bed. A roll out futon works really nicely.

Sling the baby to you when you are needing to do things so you don't have to listen to them crying much as they like the movement and activity.

If you have trouble with milk being slow - take a baby day in bed all day together to rest and feed the baby as often as possible.

Take any help you can get. If you can have someone stay with you for much of each day for the first month to do laundry and cook you meals you will get strong again much quicker.

Make sure you have a kindle if you enjoy reading. I relied very heavily on mine and still do 3 years on! You can read with one hand and in a dark room.

I put a nappy bag in each nappy In the caddy. I know some will say it's pointless but it's just easy to grab and also to refill my changing bag i know there's a bag already in there. Takes 5 mins out of my week.

Incontinence pants instead of pads. So much more secure.
Spend days doing as you please with your baby.... go out if you like ... stay in you feel like it. Just enjoy.

I wasn't prepared for how difficult I found breastfeeding to be at first. There's a reason why pp are talking about nipple creams and shields and cabbage leaves. If you have any breastfeeding cafe type places near you then access them if you need them. But it was all worth it for me, especially when I got caught for hours in the middle of nowhere after trains were delayed!

By the same token though don't let anyone pressure you into anything you don't want to do, including feeding method- everyone seems to have an opinion on the best way to look after a baby.

I read about something g called postpartum plan, an online subscription which looks good

My top tips:

1. If you want to BF, and are finding it isn’t working very well, see a private lactation consultant ASAP. Costs about £150 I think, which isn’t cheap but in our case was worth every penny. Make sure they are qualified to check for tongue tie.

2. Accept that you and DP are likely to be exhausted and snappy. Agree between yourselves to try to be kind to each other, not to do “competitive tiredness” and not to take things too personally.

3. Every baby is completely different and there is a wide range of how they sleep and eat. Don’t expect yours to follow the baby books.

4. But do listen when the books say they need LOADS of sleep. Try not to let your baby get overtired as it’s an awful cycle to break. If you’re unlucky and get a baby who fights sleep then do whatever it takes - buggy, sling, holding them - to get enough sleep in them.

Good luck!

Same! Though for my second baby it was easy and I’ve not needed any cream, so it does depend. My top tip is don’t make the decision to give up breastfeeding on the worst day.

Also keep your nails short on your little finger so you can poke it in to break a bad latch, and never be tempted to persist in a badly latched feed just because they’ve finally latched on/stopped crying/whatever. You’ll shred your nipples and subsequent feeds will be harder. Also means you can poke em off once asleep.

The first few weeks when they’re clusterfeeding devils and you need to eat 10 roast dinners with a whole cheesecake chaser just to assuage the hunger fly by, then they’re just so portable. Bum bag with nappies and wipes, baby in the sling, and out the door.

Loving this thread.
Dd, 18, is 33 weeks, single and has just moved back home, so I'll be supporting her and helping her care for baby. As she and her sister were adopted, however, I have no experience of newborns, and obviously neither does she!

Sleep whenever baby sleeps ..you need to know nothing else ..baby will teach you and every baby is different. X

My friend told me when the baby wakes up feed them till they go to sleep again. Then change their nappy, which will wake them up, then feed them again till they sleep. The idea is to get a bit more food into them. Both my babies were great sleepers so I genuinely think it helped.

I really breezed the newborn days. I felt nothing but joy and I know so many others struggle. Here are my tips (although i know every baby & situation is different but this worked wonders for us)

1/ I educated myself during pregnancy on baby sleep patterns/ wake windows/ feeding & latching tips/ reflux etc. information was so valuable to me.

2/ I implemented good habits from day . Her bedtime routine has been the same since day 1. Bath, feed, story, snuggle, down.

3/ let go of as many commitments as you can. don't feel guilty saying no to friends / fam etc. the less you have in your life the better.

4/ buy some nice "home clothes" trackie sets etc. you're going to be at home a lot and it's nice to feel nice.

Good luck. You are in for the best ride of your whole life x

If you don't have space for a bedside crib then I would definitely research co-sleeping before the birth (look at the Lullaby Trust website) and practice setting up your bed to do it safely (e.g. following all the advice to avoid dangerous gaps, practising sleeping in the right position and planning some suitable night attire that will keep you warm and comfortable and is BF-friendly without needing to have heavy bedclothes near the baby). You are quite likely to find yourself needing to have the baby in bed with you at least sometimes, and you won't want to be crouched over your phone desperately trying to work out how to do it without endangering the baby at 3AM while they scream. Much better to be practiced and prepared in advance. If you never end up needing to co-sleep then that's fine, you won't have wasted any money and barely any time, so it's a good investment.

Yes to the mention of incontinence pants, used them for broken waters and post natal and they were great. Until they got annoying and I went to pads. But up until then, amazing!

If you have an episiotomy, don't go in the bath and be very careful with care of it. I learned that the hard way and it's why my first maternity leave was so tough. I wish I had known them what I do now, would have been much more enjoyable.

Changing mat/nappy station upstairs and a second one downstairs.

Contrary to the posters who had the time of their lives with a newborn, don’t feel bad if it turns out to be really, really hard.

Some babies are refluxy, colicky, intolerant to cows milk, struggling with head and neck tension after the birth etc and there’s no amount of pre-reading, sleep routines, preparation etc that will make a difference.

Some babies are high needs (very clingy) whose world will end if you put them down for a nanosecond and others are chilled little souls who happily snuggle down alone in their Moses basket. It really is the luck of the draw and if someone had told me this before mine was born, I wouldn’t have spent so much time worrying that I was doing it all wrong.

Seconding what @Porridgeislife says! I could NOT understand with my first baby, DD, what I was doing “wrong”: where was the drowsy but awake? Why was she not always asleep and only waking to feed or for nappies? Where were the snuggly evenings with the baby in a Moses basket while I watched tv? Why were my nct WhatsApp group all so calm and loving life?

Then I had DS who is a calm potato and while I already knew it is luck of the draw and babies are just different, it is amazing seeing it in real life. I do think if you get the difficult baby first it’s easier! If I’d had DS first I’d think it was my clever parenting, then get the shock of my life with number two…

Sorry, one more from me as I’m currently trapped under an infant with time on my hands! Don’t rush things: with DD we started tummy time and giving her a bath and plonking her under the dangly Ikea activity thing. feeling like we should be doing something. With DS he hasn’t had any tummy time yet (he’s 12 weeks) but has head control anyway because they have to get strong to breastfeed. Gets bathed weekly, barring post-poonami emergency baths, because the house is cold – top and tail in between. No bedtime story in his night routine yet because he’s tired and small and just stares at us with a dopey grin on his face then burrows into my chest for milk anyway, so I go straight to milk. Keep life easy and slow: it won’t be long before he’s crawling and teething and playing and running me ragged, so this time I’m just lazing around and letting him be a small baby.

Currently have a 5 week old! Loads of brilliant tips here. My top purchase is 100% the sling. I had a c section so didn't use it for the first couple of weeks. Once I did, game changer! I had my hands back. My wrap sling gave me backache, the expensive carrier has worked best for me.

What I wish I knew before baby - just how hard the baby blues can be that first week. I knew to expect it but it was tougher than I ever thought. I spent the first 2 weeks of my baby's life in floods of tears with no particular reason, and felt guilty for not enjoying him. I have a history of depression too and was terrified that I had developed PND and it would never end. It does end - it's normal, it's all hormonal and it only lasts a couple of weeks. Make sure your partner knows to expect it and can support you, and try very hard not to catastrophize, keep telling yourself you'll be through it soon.

Lastly, take this and all advice with a pinch of salt! I was sick of advice by the end of the first week. Find what works for you. I've accepted that sleeping when the baby sleeps is not going to be a thing for me and my velcro baby. And keeping on top of the housework (baby in sling) is important for my mental health.

Oh, and Aldi nappies are the best.

I'd rest, maybe go for a facial, a massage etc. if you are planning to breastfeed I'd get some info together so do your surgery do drop in clinics? If so when and what time? I'd look up numbers for a lactation consultant or see if their are specialist midwives in your area, do any come recommended, how does it all work? I'd ask your partner to batch cook when possible and restock your freezer.

Respond to your baby, not others' expectations.
If it feels right, it probably is.

You don't get the time back and they are only little for the smallest time so enjoy every moment and feed and sleep as you know to be right and ignore absolutely everyone else's input.