Bills with the man's name first.

[Magenta82]

Just got our new council tax bill, besides the fact that everything has gone up I'm annoyed at the way it's addressed.

I registered us, my name was first.
I own the house.
The money comes out of my sole account.
Both my first and last names are first alphabetically.

Yet somehow magically the council have his name first.

AIBU to be annoyed?

😂Loving your closing sentiments Bastard, & came here to recommend Criado Perez too. PP claiming it isn't an issue are failing to recognise that it's part of a wider spectrum of unconscious bias & unequal treatment

See also "Are Women Human?" by Catharine Mackinnon.

www.amazon.co.uk/Are-Women-Human-International-Dialogues/dp/0674025555/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=1183075410628218&hvadid=73942416196768&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=132603&hvnetw=s&hvqmt=e&hvtargid=kwd-73942351445598%3Aloc-188&hydadcr=24401_2219219&keywords=are+women+human&qid=1678727601&sr=8-1

www.amazon.co.uk/Invisible-Women-Exposing-World-Designed-ebook/dp/B07CQ2NZG6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=GGT0LLHBMEQR&keywords=invisible+women+caroline+criado+perez&qid=1678727747&sprefix=caroline+criado+perez%2Caps%2C91&sr=8-1

Our water rates are in joint names and I'm pretty sure our BT bill is too - though I may be confused on that one as the DD comes out of the joint A/C. Gas and electric bill is in my name only.
The council tax bill is only in my husband's name but 3 adults are listed on the electoral role.

I think it's pretty random?

My husband set ours up i'm named as primary person and things are addressed to me

My husband and I both have professional prefix ‘Dr’. My DS primary school (small village school, all female staff) used to write to us as Dr and Mrs X. They know I’m also Dr (I do all their teacher flu vaccines, come in to talk about my job for science week etc etc) but chose to refer to DH as Dr and me as Mrs.

It pissed me right off. Either refer to us as Mr and Mrs X or Dr and Dr X. I really don’t mind which… but the subconscious application of professional title Dr for man and of Mrs for woman is annoying. I jokingly pointed this out, made a jest about teaching girls their place in society etc. To be fair they looked sheepish and haven’t done it since.

You see this same gender/ title inconsistency in news (media interviews with professors etc) all the time.

Grrr.

If that's all you have to worry about...

Yes of course!
I'm too stupid to be able to think about more than one thing at a time!
Perhaps you would like to send me a list of thing I should worry about.

Or perhaps like many people I have lots going on, juggling a family, work, health issues and today was a bit fucking annoyed because I do all the admin but the council still think I come second to someone with a Penis.

It's a lot of fun to search by username and see what are the exclusively super important topics the 'don't you have better things to worry about' posters have been posting about.

You are genuinely over reacting though. I highly doubt somebody at the council purposely put your name 2nd because you 'don't have a penis'.

My husband does all of our admin. Yet my name comes first on half. He's nor bothered and neither am I.

What I'm saying is, you say yourself you have lots going on so this should not be on the top of your worry list 😊

What I'm saying is, you say yourself you have lots going on so this should not be on the top of your worry list 😊

Di you read the thread to see what issues innacuracies and switched names can cause?

Why does posting on mumsnet automatically make something top of the list or the most important thing the poster has to worry about?

Or should we only be allowed to talk about the one most important issue in our lives at the current time?

*I don’t see it as a petty problem. I see it as part

of the enshrined sexism of our society, and it needs dismantling piece by piece.*

This is it, precisely.

When i owned a flat, my sole name was in the title. When my partner moved in and we got married I added him to the title but the Land Registry put his name first.

When we bought out last house I did all the dealings with the conveyancer. They also knew all of the deposit came from accounts in my sole name. After completion there was an excess in the client account and they sent a cheque made out only to my husband. I put in a complaint which was not even acknowledged.

I've also had the experience of booking a holiday, listing myself as lead passenger, paying with my credit card and then getting the email confirmation to Dear Mr Husband (who had been made lead passenger) to MY bloody email address.

People say oh it's not important, it's just tradition to put the man first, to assume the wife and children take his surname. But it's SEXIST and it should be challenged.

It’s not a non-thing. It’s everyday sexism.

I've also had the experience of booking a holiday, listing myself as lead passenger, paying with my credit card and then getting the email confirmation to Dear Mr Husband (who had been made lead passenger) to MY bloody email address.

Yup, same. And hotel manager left a lovely gift basket and a card, that thank you for returning, Mr John Jones, our valued gold (or whatever) level loyalty scheme member. Except that he is not, I am.

Natwestpig - That's because of security though that companies can only deal with the account holder, which is why it's best to have bills in both names. You can be a main account holder but you can ask for your husband or wife to be named as a second person.

Somebody's name has to be first, so I can't get worked up about this.

I understand that it is because of security but I registered the account when we moved to the new house. I set up the account with MY email and the bills came from MY bank account and only I had only spoken to them during this time. The provider decided to put DH first despite this and then refused to help in an emergency.

I set up a joint online account with my DB to deal with our late Parents’ estate. I dealt with the whole application and spoke to them on the phone. DB and I have different surnames and addresses. DB’s name appeared first on the account details/statements - at the time I let it slide as I was grieving-still grinds my gears to this day.

It's been mentioned already but it's not sexist it's because Mr comes alphabetically before Mrs
And why some people with a title Miss comes first
It's the title

This is the same on my nursery invoices, even though we are not together and I pay the bill and filled out the form with only me on it. Somehow Dad’s name has superseded mine 😡

I am miss. Or ms. Depends on mood. Sometimes mrs.
On ct bill i am miss. Still not first

DH and I are both Drs and somehow he is still usually listed first (even if I am the one who set up the account)

Actually another thing that irritates the hell out of me is I am a company director along with a male friend. Both my first name and last name come before his and I'm listed first on Company House.

Every piece of mail offering us credit, loans, new phones, business advice etc is always and without fail addressed to him. In the 7 years we've been operating I have NEVER had any of the unsolicited offers addressed to me. Not that I want them but the blatant sexism is appalling.

I have a first name that is very obviously a woman's name but one company writes to us both as Mr John Smith and Mr Helen Smith. I have no idea why they don't have the common sense to just put Mr and Mrs Smith (or Mrs and Mr :) ).

Just found the invoice from a hotel we stayed in during summer holidays. I booked the hotel. I paid the hotel. I didn't even give them the names of other guests, but they did ask for passports when checking in.
Name on invoice? DH's. If he wasn't there, guess they would have put 7yo DS' name there..

This wouldn't even register with me, I couldn't care any less than I do about who's name goes where on a letter. It has no bearing on anything at all, it literally effects nothing in anyone's life.

it literally effects nothing in anyone's life.
Well exept of course posters on this thread who lost money like Fannygotobed or had issues dealing with service providers like NatWestPig..