Bills with the man's name first.

[Magenta82]

Just got our new council tax bill, besides the fact that everything has gone up I'm annoyed at the way it's addressed.

I registered us, my name was first.
I own the house.
The money comes out of my sole account.
Both my first and last names are first alphabetically.

Yet somehow magically the council have his name first.

AIBU to be annoyed?

It’s everyday, ingrained sexism. It would annoy me.

This exactly!

Really irritating. One of my moans this. Garage put car V5 in my husband’s name so I don’t officially own it, irritated the hell out of me that.

I have exactly the same situation and I am also pissed off about it.

IMHO it is worth getting worked up about as it shows how insidious the patriarchy is, men are default first.

I got irrationally annoyed at it too. Funnily it used to be my name first originally!

Yanbu

Casual everyday sexism

That is annoying, but the V5 shows the registered keeper not the owner. The person who paid for the car owns it. But if it were me I would send it off to get it changed.

Can't say why that has happened in your case. But my bill, which I got last week, has my name (as a Miss) is still listed first before my husband (a Mr).

Ooh just checked mine and DH comes first. I too registered us, pay the bill from my own account and come first alphabetically. I don't think DH has dealt with the council for anything, ever. I know it seems petty but it's a micro aggression. Someone must have set the system up to always put the man first. Why would they do that? YANBU

When you're booking you are asked who is the lead passenger

Whose life will it change?

Correct. You can only have one name on utilities, Sky etc.

Complain to the council and let your councillors know. Make a point of mentioning to them that there are households where all are men or all are women, and also about multi-generational households which are more often found with people of south Asian birth or heritage.

Hopefully this will be enough to stop such a practice.

It wound me up when my partner joined my bank so we changed my account to a joint one. His name was automatically put first. Grr. Worse when we got married and Mr D Partner and Miss MJ Mumsnetter became Mr & Mrs D Marriedname. But this was 25-30 years ago.

Yes it's annoying. I added DP to my National Trust subscription which I'd had for years and which was paid for out of my personal account.

His name came first on all the subsequent correspondence. Anyway when I rang to cancel they wouldn't accept my cancellation. DP had to do it, apparently as the primary member. Of course, he didn't - I just cancelled my DDM and ignored all further letters from them (addressed to him of course).

The most recent is the local carpet shop who have sent the receipt for my new flooring to DP although it was me who went in, choose the floor and paid from my own bank account. Their loss. I won't be replacing the rest of my flooring with them.

I'm now divorced and look after my disabled adult DS. Correspondence from the Lib Dems is always addressed to Mr DS2 and Mrs Mum&Carer as if we are a married couple.

I agree. This is one of those 'micro" issues that contribute to the bigger picture. Alphabetical order is logical, so no reason not to use it.

The name arrives as YOU set it up

I had this with a rental agreement, I wasn’t even married. I was paying for it all myself (which they knew), it was my credit that was checked, I arranged everything, but he was named as the lead tenant and they’d only ever contact him. So annoying, and guess what, that pissed me off even though I have ‘real’ problems too!

At my old house, the council insisted on doing this too. In fact, I needed DH’s permission to speak to them even though I made the payment and was the homeowner.

Not with my former council.

British Gas has both our names on the bill (him first of course, even though I pay it and set it up).

Oh fgs. This isn’t an issue and attempting to make it one just makes the actual issues so much harder to tackle.

@OP given that you own the house and are responsible for the payments etc I agree with you. If it had been a case of equal responsibility of it and it just happening to be Mr and Mrs then it's not something that would bother me, because it's how I'm used to saying it. Just like we generally use the term "mum and dad "rather than "dad and mum". It's just something we're used to.
Do you at least get your own name? Apparently when I married my husband, my housing association gave me my husband's first name too and now I am Mrs John Doe. I don't even get to be Jane Doe. If I ever flit and stop paying rent they'll never look for Jane Doe I suppose...

I get you OP. It might not seem important to some but it’s a small window on a much bigger problem. If you have not already done so, please read Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez, there’s enough there to keep anyone spitting bullets all year.

We all have problems some great and some small, they come and go. But if we want a fairer world for our daughters then no small action is too small to achieve this. The saying from small deeds comes great feats is true.

So complaining about name order may seem pointless to some. We should all, when we have the time, and the energy do whatever small thing we can to

SMASH THE PATRIARCHY!!!!!!

I feel better now.