Bills with the man's name first.

[Magenta82]

Just got our new council tax bill, besides the fact that everything has gone up I'm annoyed at the way it's addressed.

I registered us, my name was first.
I own the house.
The money comes out of my sole account.
Both my first and last names are first alphabetically.

Yet somehow magically the council have his name first.

AIBU to be annoyed?

DS and I have a joint account. Don't mind him being first but they were told we are Mr John Bloggs and Ms Mary Bloggs. Stuff started coming to Mr and Ms John Bloggs. Nope.

Was told it was not possible due to the same surname. I was passed to about 3 people before they admitted thst they could do actually do Mr J Bloggs and Mrs M Bloggs.

I keep an eye on it now in case they revert back.

(D

I feel you - as I've coincidentally just spent about an hour on the phone to BT due to this issue.

I set up a joint BT account with my ex in 2000 in our old house, updated to my married name some years late. Ex and I split in 2019 and I've been trying since then to get the account in my own name. Apparently, they can't change the name as he's the account holder - despite him never ever even having any communication with him at all and all the bills coming out of my single named bank account and they won't change the name just to mine even if he contacts them to approve because...no reason they just can't. So I've had to set myself up a new account and have wasted bloody hours of my life. Gaaaahh

Oooh, I had this when DP moved into my house. They put his name first and like you, alphabetically, I came first.

Thankfully I've recently kicked him out so it's no longer a problem.

Appreciate that's a bit of an extreme solution 🤔

And it didn’t also send the email to you? Was this through an airline or a travel agent?

The reason I’m asking is because for date protection, info should all only be sent to the lead name on the booking.

It should be decided on main contact when setting up. So I am, or am supposed to be the main contact.
I would even do alphabetical, but logically it should be the person who actually handles it. For all they know dh isn't even real since they never had ANY communication eith him

Isn't it's just the format though,Mr is shorter than Mrs so makes sense ?
Sorry but I don't think it matters a jot.

No I was born here and have been paying council tax here for 20 odd years, he moved here less than 5 years ago.

I set it up and am listed first

I was surprised to find myself narked that my latest communication from the council electoral registration department had my name listed second after my DH's. I always fill in the form and put my name first, every time, because why wouldn't I, and in 18 years that's always been the order on subsequent lists I've had to check. And now DH's name has floated to the top.
Council tax has always been Mr DH and Mrs DM, which is fine. But don't dick around with the information I supply. I know it seems petty to lots of people, but it wasn't to me.

Plumbbear 2. I agree. Such a non issue when there are real problems to deal with.

Well throw us some real problem so we know what we must concentrate on

Registered with the AA.

Added my husband as the second driver.

Letters coming addressed to him.

That's fine- Bye!

Letters asking us to rejoin all addressed to husband- No thanks.

I registered with an alternative.

He stills gets letters asking him rejoin.

Dont know why they bother I'm the one who arranges the roadside assistance. He doesnt even want it.

Exactly this!

Or point out where I've said this is the most important thing I've thought about today.

Or where I've suggested that I can only worry about one thing at a time.

Have you told them why you left? I wonder if there is a way of pushing back.

Mr. and Mrs. flows better than Mrs. and Mr.

That is only because it is what you are used to.

We aren't married its Ms Magenta and Mr Partner, plus it's not about flowing as they use full names.

The bill is addressed to Mr Firstname Middlename Lastname and Ms Firstname Middlename Lastname.

Only because it’s been said that way for so long because the woman was lesser legally for so long. Doesn’t mean it has to be that way.

I left cos they increased the policy price.

Normally I just ring them and negotiate down.

But for the first 5 years they addressed the letters to me.
Then switched.

So didnt want to renegotiate and just changed.

Also OP to make you feel better, when writing cards to couples it is polite to put the lady's name first, inside the card.

@ChilliBandit

I think I'm remembering wrong (it's been a while!). I think the garage was writing to my dad, sent to his house, about my car. And he was bringing me the letters.

I really messed my story up but the point still stands 🤣🤣

So do I. I have cancer FFS, and I still find this sort of thing immensely irritating.

Why would that make me feel better? I've never heard of that rule, but it seems like another type of sexism really. Important, practical or useful things like bills or AA membership belong to men, but lovely, fluffy, social things belong to women.

Have I been rude and impolite by putting the name of the person I know best first all of these years?

A minor part of my role at work is checking that clients’ names have been copied correctly from their instruction forms onto our database. Not all these things are done by computer programmes.

Funnily enough, like @MindfulMess I managed to be bothered by everyday sexism when I had cancer.

It basically depends what their system is

If you are Ms/Mrs and he is Mr and their system is set to list names alphabetically, including title, then it's not sexist as Mr comes before the other options. So it would be hard/take time for them to automatically override it which wouldn't be proportionate.

However if your title is Miss or there are no titles included in the bill then somewhere or other they have made a conscious decision to set up their system so that it names the male first, and of course that's sexism and it should be amended.