To only buy bread and ham?

[IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads]

DH and the dc eat meat. I don't. Family cooking has always been a bit fractious. I am bored to tears of cooking the same 3 or 4 meals that we either agree on, or are adaptable. I hate this situation, and I can't even remember how we got into it. The DC were weaned veggie. I work 4 long days and don't have time to be flapping about meals during the week. I like planning and shopping, but it is really beginning to stress me out.

A good 50% of new meals I try are met with suspicion.

The dc are 11 and 14. I ask them frequently for new ideas for meals they'd like to eat, and wave at the pile of recipe books for ideas.

I also ask them to throw away empty packets and put things we've run out of on the shopping list.

They do neither.

I'm fed up of this, and the associated food waste.

I've just done a Tesco order and bought mostly bread, salad veg and cereal. As far as I am concerned they can live off ham sandwiches until they engage a bit more with food.

Also recommend Gousto - I think it saved me money and it made it easy for someone else to take over cooking once or twice a week.
linda maccartney mozzarella veggie burgers are brilliant - we have them with brioche buns and a slice of halloumi and home made fries. Good for everyone!

He can still cook. We frequently don't get home til 8pm and I still have to cook. 6.30 is a perfectly fine time to be cooking a meal

I would cook the veggie meals you like and if the kids want a meat based meal, they need to cook it.

Ease off on the recipe books.
you need to spark their interest subliminally not by force!
do they use instagram or TikTok?
send then some reels of things you fancy …. Often they’re easy and veggie if they’re trending.

my 12 & 14 year olds meal plan and cook!
some of its VERY routine, some is from cook books, quite a bit is off instagram!!
we online shop, sit down on a Thursday night, discuss meal plan (evenings) & lunches for the following week & all do the Tesco order which arrives Friday evening. No one eats keys ingredients for meals because the all know about it!
we use “tamingtwins” a lot.

also look at “the batch lady”. My biggest revelation there is freezing meals in bags (use reusable or compostable). My husband is veggie & the rest of us eat meat. Most meals are for 4. So for us we freeze one & for him we freeze 3. Then it’s rare we cook everything every night, some nights we just warm stuff up.

also cook double & freeze half.

your beef casserole will be cheaper per portion of you buy a bigger pack of beef. Freeze half and another week you just warm it in the pan or pop it in the slow cooker to defrost and warm through. Depending kn how much you pre plan !

individual portions of stuff in the freezer make an “on toast” or “jacket potato” night much more interesting (can also do individual rice and pasta) because you can pick a spicy curry/chilli and they can just have tinned beans and cheese.
mot if you’re warming up a “ready meal” have whatever you fancy!

an investment in some portion size pans can be a big help - especially if they they fit easily in the dishwasher.

it’s easier to warm up multiple meals every night than prep multiple meals from scratch. Or it’s nice to get to a point where you have a balance and sometimes do one of each (or really easy if you just warm! Feels like a night off).

How about burgers, you could make yourself a spicy veggie one and get the DC involved in making meat ones. Add some homemade wedges and some spicy salsa for yourself and it could work for everyone.

I agree, your recipes sounds lovely. I’d scrap the family whiteboard list and just cook what you fancy. For me that is sometimes egg/cheese on toast, sometimes something out of the freezer with veg and some sort of potato or rice (salmon/veggie burgers), sometimes a recipe I fancy. I could never eat the same thing every Thursday but it works for other people.

I love cooking but pickiness when small, working full time, people in and out at different times and not wanting to waste food means I stick to a standard rotation. But my kids are 8 and 10 and these days really involved in food prep.
Monday - Pasta and Sauce (used to have to blend now they tolerate lumps!)
Tuesday - Tray Bake these days in the Air Fryer /lasagne some kind of potato topped pie
Wed -burritos Nachos or Chili (picky eater might have baked beans if she deems it too spicy). It's basically the pasta sauce from Monday with extra beans
Thursday - usually a mild curry (the pickiest kid is out that night so comes home and has leftovers from Monday or Tuesday)
Fri - Pizza for kids, its the night I make us something a bit more interesting
Saturday homemade burgers or meat balls /koftas /fancy sausages
Sunday - stir fry /kids have picnic tea

Weeekend lunches are always soup made with veg from the week on Saturday I make croutons with ends of bread cos the twats won't eat them . Might do a roast which will usually make leftovers for pasta sauce /chili /curry. I use lots of frozen veg which massively reduces waste and means everyone can have something they'll eat but can try others.

I feel for you I have been frustrated in the past, if anyone complains they need to make a suggestion!

lol @AndTheSurveySays 😆 who expects 11 & 14 ds to cook regular meals for the whole family? I love your optimism

This is really annoying and I used to have the same issues when mine were at home. I'd ask what everyone fancied this week (happy to cook, just sick of making all the decisions) and they'd all shrug and say "whatever".

One day I sat down and made a long list of potential meals everyone might like and got them all sat down for a meeting, they picked things they really liked/quite liked/found tolerable, we then made a meal plan for the month so everyone got a range of meals through the week they enjoyed. Yes it was still me doing the legwork but it did save some stress.

Why are you the only cook/food shopper?

who expects 11 & 14 ds to cook regular meals for the whole family? I love your optimism

In our family, learning to cook, and sharing cooking, was not optional. DH has always cooked and baked so the sons were under no delusion it's womens work.
They grew up knowing REAL MEN can and do cook. Indoors on a stove, outdoors on a fire. And whoever doesn't cook, eats the food provided, thanks the cook, and washes up.

I could do a cooked breakfast at 11, and I was no great cook as a teenager. In fact I think that's the only thing I learned for years. It wasn't anything fancy but it's a realistic aspiration for most DC that age, usual caveats about SN etc applying.

I think you should cook meals YOU like, and enjoy cooking and eating them. Cook enough for everyone, but encourage them to serve themselves from a big dish on the table. If they don't like it, freeze leftovers for your own lunches etc. At least you will be happy cooking and enjoying what you eat.

I would also schedule one night a week each for your kids and DH to cook. They have to put the ingredients on the shopping list by a certain deadline or it doesn't get bought and they have to go out and shop. Worst comes to worst and there's no food on the table, make yourself a sandwich and tell everyone else to sort themselves out.

The mistake was CALLING it carrot cake. 😁
Taste first - name after.
(I have lived with cautious eaters - as you see.)

They're children... you're expecting too much. Maybe your meals really aren't very nice. Have you tried asking what they want to eat ?

That's how I found out that carrot cake is revolting. Oh, it's just a cake. Ewww, it's horrible. It's carrot cake? OK, so I know what to avoid in future, then - any cake where you won't tell what is in it in the first place.

It might not help but I found this Instagram account the other day, have cooked two recipes off it and both were amazing
Maybe point them at it and ask them to pick one? Bit more visual than choosing from a cookbook
(One of them was actually a baked gnocchi recipe funnily enough!)

https://instagram.com/dontgobaconmyheart_?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

I feel your pain OP.
If I don't cook, DH orders out. We really can't afford that more than once a fortnight/month at the moment, so I end up cooking.
And it's so frustrating when you get stuck in a food rut and no one else helps with the mental load of planning what to eat.
Let them eat cake ham!

what are the repetitive meals though? if they are fine with noodles or rice and stews etc you can easily add the protein for them and replace with veg for you? eg make veg based sauces take your portion out, add the protein for them. when stuck i find that meal deliveries like gusto and hello fresh to be great at varying the options as well!

Eat meat then! When all is said and done, ultimately, it’s you that’s making things difficult!

I would say the opposite, given she is the one with the chore. OP is cooking, she's veggie, therefore meals are veggie. The others can either cook themselves or eat what's served to them (or if OP is feeling generous she could cook a small bowl of meat separately to be added at the table as wanted). If the rest of the family were that bothered they'd get more involved. They can't even be arsed to name a dish.

Mine all cooked a meal a week from the age of 11. There are 4 of them. Weren't allowed to do the same meal 2 weeks running. They can all produce something.

I make them think and check for ingredients.

They make a meal plan between them. And book me and DH for the other meals.

Alexa does the shopping list.

I dread meal planning.

Unless i misread it they are toddlers? If she made proper meals with meat there would be far more to choose from?

They are teens not toddlers. And I can’t believe that you are asking a life long vegetarian to start eating meat. What has OP been eating all her life if not ‘proper meals’

its selfish to make your family eat veggie meals because you are veggie when they are not. She has a choice.. eat meat or shut up? her children are children whatever age. they shouldn’t have to make their own tea because they don’t want her veggie rubbish. she’s a bad parent.