To only buy bread and ham?

[IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads]

DH and the dc eat meat. I don't. Family cooking has always been a bit fractious. I am bored to tears of cooking the same 3 or 4 meals that we either agree on, or are adaptable. I hate this situation, and I can't even remember how we got into it. The DC were weaned veggie. I work 4 long days and don't have time to be flapping about meals during the week. I like planning and shopping, but it is really beginning to stress me out.

A good 50% of new meals I try are met with suspicion.

The dc are 11 and 14. I ask them frequently for new ideas for meals they'd like to eat, and wave at the pile of recipe books for ideas.

I also ask them to throw away empty packets and put things we've run out of on the shopping list.

They do neither.

I'm fed up of this, and the associated food waste.

I've just done a Tesco order and bought mostly bread, salad veg and cereal. As far as I am concerned they can live off ham sandwiches until they engage a bit more with food.

Not eating meat is not being a fussy eater, if anything it usually means you are a more adventurous eater and have a bigger interest in food and diet.

I'd be interested in seeing the actual data for this claim

I went through similar phase a few tears ago with mine.
I made sure there was no snacks or junk food in eg crisps, pot noodles etc.
I made something I fancied. Everyone turned their nose up as expected and told them for the rest of the month they could name their own.
I can't say it was a roaring success but they ended up making things like chicken pasta pesto, chicken enchiladas and mushrooms stroganoff.
I had the ingredients in and they would ask what they could do with them.
Both kids jave their own homes now but it pleases me when we are invited round to theirs for tea and we get a nice meal made by them.

OP,

In your place I would make a really nourishing pot of veg soup every week.

I would buy an air fryer and show tgem how easy it is to use.

I would encourage beans on toast, eggs on toast, make toasties in the toasty maker.

Take a step back.

Make some pasta, toss it in pesto and have in the fridge.

They won't starve.

You need to encourage them to step up.

Nothing wrong with a sandwich and bowl of soup for dinner.

Likewise baked potatoes stuffed with veg, cheese, beans, tuna and sweetcorn.

Pick a couple of days a week to cook, maybe at the weekend.

Let them help themselves to soup/pasta the other days.

Nothing wrong with nice chicken goujons, salad stuff and wraps for dinner either.

Sounds like you need to get them on curry! We have recently tried this with resounding success. It’s not as spicy as I would like but we do extra chilli for us to sprinkle on top. Homemade nans were gobbled up and there’s always just the rice if they are really fussy. Base sauce can be split and veg put in one and chicken in other?

Sure, here is one article as an example: www.fitday.com/fitness-articles/nutrition/vitamins-minerals/getting-all-essential-amino-acids-as-a-vegetarian.html.

Basically as a vegetarian you have to spend more time researching your diet and the different foods we should eat in order to be nutriciously healthy. I.e. we have to eat a bigger variety of foods, we have to take interest in our food/diet to understand how to stay healthy. I am not saying every single vegetarian do this, but just by becoming a vegetarian you are making an active and conscious decision to not follow the western norm of eating meat with most meals so you have to research it to some extent.

PinkSyCo · Today 08:15
But her kids want meat.

😂😂😂Are they a ravening horde of Orcs?

I feel your pain.

Your kids are perfectly fine without meat obviously.

My DD and I are team spicy pulses while DP is the meat eater.

The rest of the family wants meat and you're the anomaly.
Luckily you can produce meals that cater to both parties.
If you like spice, add cayenne to your portion.
I don't see the problem, it's just part of being a family.

This is what I'd do. The others can stick to their limited menu and you can have what you like a bit more often. Because I think it isn't so much the lack of variation that bothers you as the fact that you don't usually get what you want. Only takes a few minutes to defrost in a pan and boil some rice. Even easier if you have with eg bought flatbread, naan or similar.

Cook what you want. If they won't eat it they can make themselves a sandwich. Give them notice so that you don't cook something that will end up in the bin ( tonight I am cooking xyz, do you want some or are you sorting yourself out?).

This maybe a stupid question but do your teens need a hot cooked evening meal every night? What do they eat at lunchtime?
I ask because our DC (both a primary) mostly have a hot cooked lunch, in which case they have a cold tea (usually sandwiches etc). If they've had a cold lunch I'll cook them a quick hot tea.
Then after they've gone to bed DH & I have a hot meal of something we like which the DC wouldn't (spicy, full of veg etc).
Obviously teens don't go to bed at 8pm but personally I don't subscribe to this idea that everyone has to eat a hot tea/dinner together every night.
We eat together at weekends & on Thursday nights we have New Food Thursday when we try something new (new to DC & sometimes new to DH & I) to try & expand DCs repertoire as I'm bored of having the same meals with them. We've had some great successes (carbonara, chicken Katsu curry, Jools Oliver Chicken Curry, Fajitas) & some abject failures (DD hated everything on Korean/Japanese night) but it's definitely helping - though I agree the thinking of a meal to try & planning the weeks meals is a chore. But it's easier as I'm only trying to accommodate the DC on 3 nights (unless it the holidays).

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks

lol

don’t be ridiculous

you don’t need to eat meat to have a well balence diet

Some people really can’t cope with the idea of not eating meat day in day in out

cringe!!

YANBU. I'd get DH and the kids to meal plan, cook and clean up for themselves some weekends. That way you can cook a meal (and maybe a big batch so you can freeze some) that's to your taste for once rather than always being the one to compromise.

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads Agree with this, just make your own exactly as you’d like for you, a couple in the weekends or one in large quantities, as you prefer, and batch freeze.

Thankfully their meals don’t sound extremely complex, so if they enjoy them, it shouldn’t be hard to teach each child one and make it their staple meal for the week (it can be just all the prep and cleaning up, and then you do the actual hot stove etc part, if you’re worried for the 11yo).

Ime (raising my brother from when I was 15-22, due to parental difficulties, him 7 years younger) they’re still a bit young to - unless you’ve taken them out to all varieties of international restaurants / home cooked, etc, and they’ve actually enjoyed it - be that clued up on full diversities of food. I certainly didn’t have the time or money for that at the time, so I just taught him the basic each meal = proteins + veg + carbs and we’d discuss ideas ( extremely limited budget). Such a fussy eater, everything had to be plain.
But, you’d be surprised today at 25 he eats whatever on earth is in front of him, spicy, international, just anything

Just give yourself a little 2h out a weekend to cook for yourself, and enjoy for now I hope

The rest of the family wants meat and you're the anomaly.
Luckily you can produce meals that cater to both parties.
If you like spice, add cayenne to your portion.
I don't see the problem, it's just part of being a family.

the rest of the family wants meat? fine. They. Can. Cook. It.
luckily none of them has no arms or a brain and are perfectly capable of thinking of things to eat.

being part of a family is fine for OP to do, but the rest just lie around and get catered for? fuck that for a game of soldiers

Don’t see how anyone could argue with this

perfectly reasonable

I agrée with this deep down, but I think OP maybe can try to hang it out a little further re the kids because they are not quite yet at an age where they’d reasonably be considered completely independent in this regard.

I do note now OP says her husband cooks at weekends though, albeit not very well. Now light me the time for him to improve, at least for a couple of these regular meals that aren’t objectively extremely complicated.

@IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads Do you think a compromise in this regard may be possible ? If he really isn’t a good cook, do a couple of the regular meals always on the whiteboard alongside him once or twice, then the agreement is he batch cooks them, and you get a little time to batch cook yours ?

I really wouldn’t worry too much about this though OP, you’d be surprised to see what exotic recipes my brother cooks all on his own now at 25☺️. You sound like a lovely mum💚

Interesting @Snoken ^
Basically as a vegetarian you have to spend more time researching your diet and the different foods we should eat in order to be nutriciously healthy. I.e. we have to eat a bigger variety of foods, we have to take interest in our food/diet to understand how to stay healthy. I am not saying every single vegetarian do this, but just by becoming a vegetarian you are making an active and conscious decision to not follow the western norm of eating meat with most meals so you have to research it to some extent.

I never became a vegetarian, I was raised vegetarian. Ok, pescatarian, but fish was a rarity and largely for other people's convinience. All the meals I grew up eating, and later, cooking were veggie. I don't really need to think very hard about the nutrition except for making sure I get enough iron.

Bit of a result tonight.
DD made dumplings for the beef stew.

Both dc looked suspiciously at the carrot cake I'd made for pud, and declared that they was no place for vegetables in cake. Ok well.

Tomorrow night will be all veggie. Gnocchi baked in tomato sauce.

• Plan and cook the meals you want. We do the thing of all picking at least one meal each, but if they won't engage, that's on them. They will have to accept your choices or make themselves a sandwich. Don't feel guilty!

• Agree with a PP of serving meat as a side. Tofu, bean and pepper fajitas, with a bowl of shredded chicken added to the table for anyone who wants it.

• With spice you need to wean them onto it slowly, gradually increasing the amount of heat you put into dishes over the months so they don't notice the increase. A bit like The Twits and the chair and walking stick. I agree adding hot sauce at the end isn't the same, and for us was only a short-term solution whilst they first weaned and we got them up to speed. As a novice runner, you wouldn't just chuck your trainers on and run a marathon, you have to train and build your endurance first 😬

• Definitely make the 16yo cook once a week. They may indeed be uninterested, but many people don't enjoy cooking and still have to do it every night for their family (just make sure you have something tasty for yourself ready made in the freezer so you don't go hungry if they're initially resistant). I'm sure you and DH don't enjoy scrubbing the loo, but it has to be done. It is part of being a team. Understanding the effort involved may make them a little more appreciative of your efforts too.

Children tend to eat 9-11 meals, sausages, mash & veges on Tuesday, spaghetti Bolognaise on Wednesday, nuggets chips & salad on Thursday, takeaway on Friday etc etc, rinse & repeat ad infinitum THEN they enter puberty & things change, their palate becomes more sophisticated, they are more willing to try new things. Stir fry’s are really popular with teens & are easily adapted for vegetarians. Simply serve yours before the meat is added back in, your husband is perfectly able to toss some chicken & vegetables in a wok for himself & the kids.

if you prep, he can cook , it takes 10 minutes to make a stir fry.

You don't need to justify your partners input to the household :) that wasn't your question. People are so quick to judge what mens inputs are no matter the topic. It's so boring.

I don't have any advice on the teenagers (we are currently weaning a veggie baby but are very aware that she may.choose to eat meat in future and will cater for this).

Have you tried the likes of hello fresh / simply cook /gusto (budget allowing of course). These could be a good way of getting the children more involved both with the recipe selections and the step by step cooking. I tend to do the rounds of all the different companies to use their cheap first time deals - it gives you inspiration and then you can cancel before you need to pay full price. Keep the recipe cards if the meals are enjoyed.

Ps kids will be fine on ham sandwiches- a lot of teenagers eat far worse !

Hello fresh and gousto really good for this (they are pricey but I cancel them constantly so they send me discounts)- my two girls (now 15 and 13) have used them since lockdown and can cook any meal with the instructions and ingredients- I hope one day it will translate into cooking without this level of help but for now it means any one of us can do the dinner and we can choose together.

for veggie/meat it is often easy to get a spare type of protein (halloumi/paneer/tofu) and portion some of it out to be veggie if others want meat for some of them.

I don’t get in til past 7 and I still end up cooking.