To only buy bread and ham?

[IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads]

DH and the dc eat meat. I don't. Family cooking has always been a bit fractious. I am bored to tears of cooking the same 3 or 4 meals that we either agree on, or are adaptable. I hate this situation, and I can't even remember how we got into it. The DC were weaned veggie. I work 4 long days and don't have time to be flapping about meals during the week. I like planning and shopping, but it is really beginning to stress me out.

A good 50% of new meals I try are met with suspicion.

The dc are 11 and 14. I ask them frequently for new ideas for meals they'd like to eat, and wave at the pile of recipe books for ideas.

I also ask them to throw away empty packets and put things we've run out of on the shopping list.

They do neither.

I'm fed up of this, and the associated food waste.

I've just done a Tesco order and bought mostly bread, salad veg and cereal. As far as I am concerned they can live off ham sandwiches until they engage a bit more with food.

This.

I'd just stop caring about what anyone else ate. They're all capable of feeding themselves, their lack of engagement and pedestrian tastes aren't your problem to solve.

Even the 11 YO can make a sandwich or something on toast when they get hungry.

“Mexican” food a huge hit with my fussy ones; chicken breast strips, fry, add sliced peppers and/or mange tout. If necessary due to fussiness, half the chicken and add fajita seasoning to half, leave half plain.
Shop bought salsa and guacamole, sour cream, grated cheese and chopped lettuce. Everyone assembles their own to choice. Granted we are not veggie, but loads of bean-based stuff available to replace the chicken for veggies.

Loaded nachos for another meal. And Quesidillas - can fill with veggie stuff or meat.

I think you are being too nice to them. I'm a veggie too and I just cook what I want and the kids both eat all of it. Morroccan, Italian, Indian, Persian etc. Lots of colourful veg and pulses. Those that want meat gets to eat meat at school or when they are out with friends although occasionally I will get some chicken for them to have on the side. Maybe twice a month or so. Just don't give them the option to decide anymore, you tried that and it didn't work as it just meant it limited everyones exposure to new flavours.

at those ages we started our dc to cook one family meal a month.
more often during holidays.
we are not vegetarian but only have one fish and one meat meal a week.

mexican/texmex is great. ottolenghi type stuff as well.
toad in the whole type meals are one of dc favourite.

You like things spicier than they do? So cook a mild chilli/curry etc and then add a few drops of tabasco to yours when serving.

I'm veggie, but the rest of the family aren't. I find it quite easy to cook a veggie version for myself, substituting or leaving out the meat.
Do they feel that they have to have meat each meal or will they eat meat free? Such as veggie stir fry or veggie chilli with lots of peppers and beans etc?
We often have pasta bake, jacket potatoes, bolognese, pizza, chilli, sausage and bean cassoulet, pies with mash and veg... Very easy to do veggie and meat options of both.
I agree meal planning, shopping etc does become hard. I think this is the tough bit rather than the actual cooking. Have a Google for meal plans. There are lots around. I'm going through Jamie Oliver's 4 week plan at the mo. He gives you a shopping list as well!

OP I feel your pain. My DH would like chips with everything and doesn’t like pasta or rice but then gets bored of the same meals easily and I have one now grown up DC who does not eat any vegetables and doesn’t really like chips. Even a simple spaghetti bolognaise meal turned in an epic. I’ve opted out of all cooking for anyone else now my DC are young adults. I got sick of thinking of what everyone else is eating and like the OP felt my only meals were compromised.

At those ages my 2 cooked 1 night a week each. They chose what they cooked but had to take into account dietary intolerance.
10 years on and they still cook 1 night a week each.

Initially it took more time, but I taught them to clean as they went, so no big pile of dishes at the end.
Also, your slow cooker is your friend.

What happens if you find out that they would rather have ham sandwiches than eat your cooking?

The way I see it is that you’re the odd one out here, so it’s you that is actually the fussy one, and your children are still of an age where it is their parents job to cook for them. Maybe you could teach/get them to cook for themselves every Saturday while you batch cook and freeze the vegetarian food that you like.

YANBU!

Maybe you could teach/get them to cook for themselves every Saturday

A grown adult and two teens? Why is this the OPs responsibility?

Not eating meat is not being a fussy eater, if anything it usually means you are a more adventurous eater and have a bigger interest in food and diet. OP wants to eat more varied food, not less. She wants more flavours, more pulses, more veg.

Treat the meat as a side dish to whatever meal you want to cook. ie cook up a pack of sausages or meat balls or shredded chicken and serve them on the side of whatever you want to eat. Keep it on hand cooked in the freezer.

Who’s job is it to teach their kids to cook if not the parents?

You can make your own pasta sauce and freeze it into portion sizes. Mine is onions, mixed peppers, mushrooms, tinned tomatoes and whatever spices I feel like adding for flavour.

I wanted to be veggie as a teenager. My Mum said she would cook what she cooked and if I didn't want to eat it I could cook for myself. I decided not to be vegetarian but it might work in reverse!

My DSS is very fussy with food and never suggests anything he wants to eat. So frustrating.

Have you tried gnocchi? I like these two meals (I make the first with Bousin rather than blue cheese, and the second could have the chicken added separately?). There are lots of easy gnocchi based traybakes.

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/roast-mushroom-gnocchi

www.healthyfood.com/healthy-recipes/pesto-gnocchi-and-chicken-bake/

But her kids want meat.

I think OP is maybe feeling a bit like I did in lockdown when every bloody evening meal was one of the seven that DS1 would eat on rotation. I missed interesting food SO much and as soon as they were back at school I started cooking myself lunches working from home. Nothing too time-consuming usually, spicy dal, interesting salad combinations, things that I liked that weren’t on The List.

So an 11 and 14 year old with no particular interest in cooking and food should just teach themselves to plan and cook food that everyone in the family likes? That’s optimistic.

The meals you listed upthread seem ok. What's wrong with giving them those?
Or do jacket potatoes/fillings?

I've read your OP several times but I'm not really seeing a problem. Give them ham sandwiches for tea forever if you want but you're making a mountain of a molehill.

I cook what I want. My family either eat it or they don't. If they don't, there's cereal or toast.

Could you make a spag bol/chilli/shepherds pie with Quorn mince. I rarely eat meat and I have done this as family meals with meat eaters. I didn't mention it was Quorn, and everyone ate it.

My DC are 13 and 16 and neither cook a family meal regularly . They cook for themselves at lunchtime during school hols (chips, pizza, pasta, jacket potato etc)
Both DH and I usually get in between 6 and 6.30 and take turns to cook

What?!! I said that the kid’s parents should teach them, so that OP could get a break from cooking for them once a week at least, though reading back it appears that their dad cooks for the 3 of them weekends anyway so I don’t really see that OP’s got much to moan about.