To only buy bread and ham?

[IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads]

DH and the dc eat meat. I don't. Family cooking has always been a bit fractious. I am bored to tears of cooking the same 3 or 4 meals that we either agree on, or are adaptable. I hate this situation, and I can't even remember how we got into it. The DC were weaned veggie. I work 4 long days and don't have time to be flapping about meals during the week. I like planning and shopping, but it is really beginning to stress me out.

A good 50% of new meals I try are met with suspicion.

The dc are 11 and 14. I ask them frequently for new ideas for meals they'd like to eat, and wave at the pile of recipe books for ideas.

I also ask them to throw away empty packets and put things we've run out of on the shopping list.

They do neither.

I'm fed up of this, and the associated food waste.

I've just done a Tesco order and bought mostly bread, salad veg and cereal. As far as I am concerned they can live off ham sandwiches until they engage a bit more with food.

meh.
Your DH can prepare the meal the day before? or meal prep on Sundays?

Most nights, somebody needs to be elsewhere for 6 or 7pm. Scouts, football etc.

you are making excuses as to why you have to do it all. Stop it. Cook what YOU want to eat if you are going to be the one cooking. Unless and until they a) come up with ideas and b) put the ingredients on the shopping list, they will eat what you cook, cook themselves or go hungry.

It's about time they started to learn to cook anyway.

Still doesn't mean that the OP is a fussy eater. Her kids have a very limited diet, so they are the fussy eaters.

But in her husband’s and kid’s eyes OP’s diet could be deemed as limited and boring.

Then I'll continue to just order bread and ham, and cook exact it what I want to eat!

Anyway it is Monday morning, and meal plan for the week is:

Beef stew (in instapot slow cooker) (DH idea)
Chestnut/mushroom stew for me

Tagliatelle carbonara (DD's idea. Her suggestion for a veggie alternative was toast and peanut butter, which is what I was eating at the time).

Baked gnocchi (this was actually a recent "new" meal which was a resonance success). (DS's idea).

i used to make lentil spaghetti and those who want meat can quick fry some bacon to top it with

@NeverDropYourMooncup

then they can crack on and make themselves ham sarnies every night then can’t they 🤷‍♀️

..., sorry, posted too soon.

Then sandwiches until someone has any other ideas. There is a meals blackboard on the wall for ideas. Any ideas. I'll be making dahl, chickpea curry etc.

It's not the cooking, it's the ideas of what people want to eat, and that I don't want to cook 2 meals all the time.

The dc cook once or twice during school holidays - one of those will be pizza! During term time i am loathe to interupt homework/music practice etc, and we have had talks about life skills. I have also been know to lose my cool if they are gaming whilst I'm cooking.

Mixed response really. I was a carer for disabled dad when I was ds's age, so cooked for everyone when I got in from school. I'm not entirely sure that I trust ds to do this unsupervised, but I'll work on it.

I feel your pain OP - I'm vegan and the rest of the family are omni, but DH and I are generally on the same page re what is tasty. The DC OTOH are so fucking pedestrian in their tastes, it does my head in. I now cook things they hate half the week and pander to their very dull tastes the other half.

It's so DULL <cries>

TBH as the principle cook, I felt that I am not a fussy eater and that every time I cook meat for the family I am doing them a favour. I was veggie when I met DH and weaned the dc veggie. It's not something I've forced upon them.

And mild curry + tobasco is not the same as a well spiced curry!

@PinkSyCo

its tough innit
op is not a fussy eater. Vegetarianism is not fussy eating.

Just cook what you like until they start helping/engaging.

Can you tell each child that they need to decide on and cook a meal for the whole family once a week, allocate a night, and it can't be one of the family's usual meals and it must be nutritionally balanced and within budget. This is to be practice for them to become adults and self supporting.

They need to select the ingredients and put them on the shopping list ahead of time. You watch and make it fun by helping until they feel confident. If they fail, the whole family are on toast and they get a suitable punishment. When they succeed everyone else is to say thank you and do the clearing away.

They need practice at this and other household jobs before they become adults.

I think it's completely reasonable to only cook veggie food if you are a veggie.

DH or the teen can take over if they have a problem with it.

I would probably live off ham sandwiches, salad and fruit if i didn't have a lovely DH who cooks. Maybe that is your answer - ask your DH to start doing the cooking.

It feels like you are trying to create a problem where there isn’t one, I honestly don’t understand the issue. You don’t seem to be concerned about your husband not doing the cooking and nobody is complaining about the meals. Why does a boy have to be engaged with meal planning, maybe he is just not that interested. I don’t remember being forced to look through recipe books and plan meals at that age either.

I know how you feel - I do all the cooking - that is not the problem...thinking of different meals is the chore. The different meals are for me, i get bored...so bored...of cooking the same things. Now I just cook what I feel like and if they don't want to eat it, they can find something else. No arguments... it seems to be working!

@moose62 - exactly it.

Can you tell each child that they need to decide on and cook a meal for the whole family once a week, allocate a night, and it can't be one of the family's usual meals and it must be nutritionally balanced and within budget. This is to be practice for them to become adults and self supporting.

This has not met with much success to date. What usually happens is we end up having cereal at 8pm.

DH does cook! He just gets in impractically late on weekdays.

I disagree that 14 is too young to look at recipe books etc - at the same age otter circumstances forced me into cooking the family evening meal (usually from scratch) every week night.

I will digest the ideas and suggestions on this thread and think about how to shake things up a bit. Fire pits may be involved!

If you are the cook and the shopper, you make the decisions. I'm in a similar position, and the majority of food I buy is vegetarian. If dh and dc want a meat side then dh picks something up from the butcher. The kids get meat in their lunch at school anyway.

Buy yourselves a slow cooker and then your DH can prepare the food before he leaves for work (either the night before and then it can be reheated) or in the morning before leaving for work.
Then you can focus on making your veggie alternatives, if you don't eat meat.

Could you maybe batch cook some meals at the weekend and defrost? Maybe lasagne, pies, casserole, curries, bolognaise, stews. The days you cook keep it simple: stir fry, heuros racheros, pad Thai, pilaf, vol au vonts, carbonara, drunken noodles, Mexican rice, hearty minestrone, pesto gnocci, soup and sandwich, quesidillas, welsh rarebit, breakfast for dinner. Its hard trying to keep everyone happy and very disheartening when your efforts end up in the bin.

Mine love chicken pesto pasta, which I make with peppers and mushrooms, then a 50:50 mix of jarred pesto and creme fraiche. It tones down the strong pesto taste. You could substitute tofu?

Egg fried rice, with cooked chicken, peas, chopped peppers, onions, extra egg for you? I just use light soy sauce, chinese five spice, garlic, sesame oil to flavour. It's quite dry so might appeal to fussy teens?

Well I’m glad they eat meat now because that was awful of you to force your malnutrition choice on your children like that.

i dont relaly use recipe books
suggest your dc look on line,
bbc good food for a start

Don't be ridiculous. Nobody needs to eat meat to have a healthy diet.

Have you missed the part where the OP says that, left to their own devices, they'll exist on ham sandwiches and pizza.

How is that better than a diet full of pulses, eggs and vegetables>?

Cook the veggie meals you like and grill some chicken to go with their. Or oven cook some chicken thighs.

My DH doesn't cook either and he doesn't really contribute any ideas to what we should eat DS is 7 months so can't voice a opinion yet 😂anyway I just cook what I like. I do write it on a 'menu' board for the week so he knows what's coming. Like your DH, mine does contribute his fair share in other ways.