Asking staff to rinse toddler plate

[leggingsandasweatshirt]

I am extremely hormonal so potentially being unreasonable, but interested to see if others think this is a reasonable request or if I am over stepping:

We were out for lunch today and I brought a suction plate for DS (almost 2) because he is likely to launch a regular plate. When we'd finished I realised I'd run out of nappy bags so didn't have anything to put the dirty plate in inside my bag.

I explained this to the waitress and apologised for being a pain and asked if it was possible for someone to give it a quick rinse so I could put it in my bag without covering everything in gravy.

She looked at me like I'd just shit on the table and responded she was trying to clear the plates. I was mortified that I had clearly offended her and said it didn't matter. My step mum then suggested I rinse the plate in the sink in the toilet which I hadn't thought of, so I then went and did that.

I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - am I being an entitled wanker or is this a reasonable request?!

I would never have done this. I would have wrapped the item up in a piece of clothing from the bag, or just carried the item.

If I took a plate with me (eg for a picnic or on a long car drive), I always put it in a plastic bag or container before I left home - but that's more hygeinic than just putting it in a bag. I wouldn't rinse these when out and would wash it when I got home.

Might not seem to be much to ask - but it's just another task for them to do - and as pointed out, a waitress wouldn't be the one cleaning dishes, and might not want to add to the burden of the dish hand.

One of my kids was a dish hand and they had very little space to work in, and dishes were always piling up during certain times of the day. They had to hand wash items that couldn't go in the dishwasher and often found the job quite overwhelming, and wouldn't have been happy to rinse a plate off. (They have ASD & high anxiety)

What happened in 2015 where child development changed dramatically across the board? Some sort of stealth bomb? And why was plate-throwing the target?

You should've just wiped it with a napkin or wipe or taken it to the loo to rinse.

You can avoid launching plates by keeping it on the table (not high chair) and feeding them if they can't behave

Others are not you. I don't want to share my dinner with my gannets. I would rather everyone have what they want and enough of it. My son in particular was a meat monster, he could easily have eaten a whole child's portion at 2 and has an adult meal now. He is 7 in June.

She was a waitress not your bloody servant, no wonder she gave you a look.

Should every parent expect them to wash their own kids plates. What you you do if it came back dirty, lost or damaged?

How many parents would then demand to know how it was cleaned as their kids have allergies to what they used or that not washing it properly made thier kids I'll

YANBU. I always ask for this along with the cutlery too. I've never had a problem. It always comes back clean and dry.

She was wrong in her attitude but in similar circumstances it has not occurred to me to ask. I would have just rinsed in sink of toilets.

The waitresses probably don't have access to the food sink and chefs can be pretty scary in kitchens. You'd have been better rinsing it on the toilet, it probably wasn't an option for her to do

Why? I don't know what job you do but assuming you're a white collar worker, how about if you arrived at your desk and you were handed a cloth and spray and ask to wipe out the sinks in the loos? Or clean the staff kitchen? That's not your job right and you'd be outraged at being asked to do if I guess.

Why is a waitress any different? Her job is to take orders, bring your food and drink and take your dirty plates away. Washing up isn't in the job description.

I have never worked in a restaurant but I would have thought patrons asking staff to clean and return their own plates would upset the process in a busy service. I would assume waiters normally just put used plates down and then get back to serving and taking orders.

So yes I think it was pretty unreasonable to have asked and don’t understand why rinsing in the bathroom didn’t occur to you.

I help my customers with anything they need for their little ones, be it bottles, warming up baby food, giving them a little bit of veg to keep hungry babies quiet. The waitress was a nob

SalmonKnicks · Yesterday 18:33
Why would your toddler “launch” a normal plate?“

Because some toddlers do. That’s why suction plates are made.

Jesus. So many people lacking in basic human kindness. So what if it’s ‘not her job’? I worked for a long time in hospitality and the unexpected happens, kids happen, parents struggle, elderly people get ill, all sorts. It’s called ‘hospitality’ because we are being hospitable to people.

If it really is too much to step out of your precise job description once in while to help someone out then it’s probably not the right job. And even when there are times you really cannot accommodate something, why on EARTH would you look at someone with such disdain or make them feel so rubbish they are thinking about it later on, worrying if they did the wrong thing.

She’s not just a waitress, she’s also a human being, like the OP and showing a bit of kindness and humanity is important in jobs like that.

I always take own plate for my 2 year old also. Often even if we order say a children’s pasta, it comes in a huge dish, and the pasta and plate are really hot. It’s far easier to just decant a smaller portion to his own plate so it cools and he isn’t overwhelmed by too much food.

Often ‘children’s’ menu is catering for 2-10 year olds. So the portion is smaller than adults, but still big for a 2-3 year old. Dh is the toddler food hoover and will then eat any leftovers from the restaurant plate that Ds hasn’t mixed around and drooled on!

Both unreasonable. Just wipe it it's a napkin

Lol 😂

As an ex waitress, I would have done this 99% of the time. Very very occasionally, we were manic and understaffed so it would have been too difficult to get to the sink without getting in the porter or chef's way.

'Your customers' are different. This waitress may have been a teenager working in a busy restaurant at weekends, she may not have the discretion to deviate from her designated job....or was worried she'd get told off

It's not kind to take your own crockery to a restaurant and expect the staff to wash it up for you.

Funny how kindness is such a one way street.

I can't actually believe you've had some people on here think you were unreasonable 🙄.

It was a perfectly reasonable request, the waitress overreacted. For all the time it'd have taken her to do it. Even if she was busy, she could have politely suggested you rinse it in the bathroom, was no need to act offended to you.

I’ve worked in cafes etc, and that’s not an unusual request. The stroppy Madame should have said yes, when she’d finished cleaning the plates.

Reasonable to ask, but perfectly reasonable for her to refuse to do it, not reasonable to then complain about it and put it on mumsnet. You could have wrapped it in a napkin, washed it in the toilets. So many options. It's annoying forgetting nappy bags but entirely your responsibility.

I absolutely don't think you were doing anything wrong and that waitress may need a talking to from her manager for making you feel so bad about the situation.

She's there to help customers not to judge them to their faces.

Personally I would have never asked as it’s not there job to clean your plates from home I would have wiped it myself