Asking staff to rinse toddler plate

[leggingsandasweatshirt]

I am extremely hormonal so potentially being unreasonable, but interested to see if others think this is a reasonable request or if I am over stepping:

We were out for lunch today and I brought a suction plate for DS (almost 2) because he is likely to launch a regular plate. When we'd finished I realised I'd run out of nappy bags so didn't have anything to put the dirty plate in inside my bag.

I explained this to the waitress and apologised for being a pain and asked if it was possible for someone to give it a quick rinse so I could put it in my bag without covering everything in gravy.

She looked at me like I'd just shit on the table and responded she was trying to clear the plates. I was mortified that I had clearly offended her and said it didn't matter. My step mum then suggested I rinse the plate in the sink in the toilet which I hadn't thought of, so I then went and did that.

I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - am I being an entitled wanker or is this a reasonable request?!

The previous poster said that she had well behaved children even as young children who understood that the parent was in charge. You immediately leapt to saying she was emotionally abusing her children by ruling them through fear and that this was akin to a highly inappropriate comparison which I won’t repeat. Young children yes even at 2 are very capable of learning how to behave. No one expects perfection. It is a ridiculously low bar though to expect no coherence with basic manners and it is pathetic that you persist in saying the previous poster is ruling through fear when you have absolutely no idea about how she parents. It is entirely possible to have a young child understand who is in charge without them being in fear. The fact you are unable to understand that says more about you. Yes, barring actual neuro diversity young children should obey their parents, that doesn’t mean quivering in fear of an abusive adult, it means understanding the rules. A loving parent helps their child understand the rules.

Sorry but I think YABU. There were other options available to you....wipe down with tissue/napkin/rinse in the restroom, not sure why you thought asking the waitress to wash your personal dish was the best option.

I was originally gonna say yanbu as I have emptied pottys, disposed of nappies heated bottles. On numerous occasions spent time looking for parents of lost kids, stopped babies and kids falling of things or walking out into main roads and never thought twice about it. However iv also been in situations where, where so short staffed and its incredibly busy and I have 10 million things that need doing and some people are very demanding and just ask stupid questions and it's irritating

I don’t think you were being unreasonable.

its 20 years since I’ve waited tables but I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid, I’d just have taken it to the kitchen and rinsed it under the hand stretchy tap pot washy thing!

I would have stepped to the restroom and rinsed it off myself knowing that I would be washing it properly when I got home , or I would have asked for a to go bag and placed it the bag.

Had she agreed to the request I would have been overly generous with the tip.

I cannot believe people asked you to empty potties or dispose of soiled nappies. Honestly so many people just should not be allowed out.

It's not even shocking anymore working with the general public is a real eye opener and their just getting worse

It’s wild. The level of entitlement is off the scale. Who in god’s name would think it’s reasonable to ask someone else to essentially toilet their child, never mind changing a nappy at a table. The potty is bad enough if a child is caught short but really, we’re not barnyard animals down the farm. They don’t even give their children any dignity. Sorry it’s my big bear!!!

Using the word ‘obey’ tells you everything you need to know, or did you chose not to read that? is that the language of a loving parent?
Sounds like you are just as bad as they are. Do not respond to me again, i’m clearly wasting my time with you.

Isn't that the truth!

Seeing so many people complaining about customer service being shit, but I do wonder how much of that is just people saying no to unreasonable or impossible demands and the customer over reacting because they can't get their own way.

I've already said I'd have done it and I would have done, but simply to prevent an over emotional tirade on TA or similar about how a waitress not doing something that's not part of the deal has ruined their meal/day/life.

A lot of people are absolutely obsessed with customer service and are determined to find something so they can claim to be the 'victim' of it being poor.

Ex waitress here, yes being handed a grotty toddlers plate to clean is an imposition. Waitresses don’t actually clean the plates the dishwasher or Porter does, she wouldn’t have been able to use that station though as they are crazy busy and would yell at you if you tried, and she would have had to take it to where the staff wash their hands.

As everywhere is short staffed (and back when I was a waitress ten years ago everywhere I worked from chains to 5 star restaurants was already understaffed so bosses could make more money) it would have meant yet more work, when she has tables to service. Even when it looks quiet it’s really actually rarely quiet for the waitress.

Waitresses are underpaid and over worked. Don’t be an entitled parent and expect waitresses to clean up your child’s mess. I always bring stuff to clean up after my child. I had them, my job to clean up after them.

there is a reason why service workers hearts sinks when families walk into their establishments,

On another note, what I can’t understand is why restaurants have a child’s menu but never provide children’s cutlery. Like ever. You always have to bring your own and deal with taking them home dirty. A pet hate of mine!

@Maverickess yes this!

I recognise the types of posters here defending the op from my time as a waitress. The entitled type that think nothing of adding extra disgusting work to over worked and underpaid service staff as if they are their personal servant and should be grateful for serving them.

No wonder service industry staff are impossible to hire.

I also would have just wiped it with a wet wipe since they’re usually close to hand with a toddler (esp if they’re still at the launching food age) or nipped into the bathroom. But maybe this is because I was a waitress as a teenager - with an horrible manager who would have asked why on Earth I agreed to do that - and it was the most stressful, thankless job I’ve had. It also means I know that waiting staff simply drop off the plates on a trolley quite far away from the dishwashers and don’t get near a sink to do it easily.

We're on set about 560 of children's cutlery and we use disposable cups now instead of the plastic ones we used to have - they get nicked.

No it doesn’t. Obey means ‘do what I am telling you’. It doesn’t mean do what I am telling you or I’ll knock you in to next week.

Do you not carry wipes? I'd have just used those. I wouldn't think of asking them to rinse it for me.

it's either that or let the child throw plates at people.

are they the only two options?

I used to have a Saturday job as a washing upper and this would have been a pain in the arse. Waitresses don’t wash plates. They dump dirty plates in kitchens, disappear and there’s a whole system for making them clean. Plates go in dishwashers, sinks are full of huge sauce pans etc.

Plus people can be very hierarchical and waitresses definitely consider themselves to be above washer uppers!

I wouldn't have asked in a very busy restaurant on a Sunday lunchtime but forget that, I am still trying to process paying £9 for a toddler dinner! Now unless you own Honey I blew up the kid, you were robbed!

You can tell who has never worked in food service from the posts who think it's no big deal for a waitress to just waltz into the kitchen and wash up a toddler plate in the middle of service. I'd have been murdered by all the chefs I worked with if I thought I could just stroll into the kitchen whenever I felt like it

Firstly most commercial kitchens aren't set up like your kitchen at home, when I worked in restaurants there wasn't direct access to the inner kitchen from the dining room - we'd go through a door and there would be the pass for the kitchen staff to put plates for us to collect and a separate pass for us to leave dirty plates for the pot wash, we wouldn't have direct access to the kitchen proper for H&S and hygeine reasons. There was obviously a way into the kitchen but it would usually be a circuitous route round the room, and there's no way you could access anything in the kitchen (eg pot wash sink) from the "dining room" side of the pass.

Next, pot wash is not just a free for all, especially at busy times like Sunday lunch, the kitchen porter will have a specific system/order of things to ensure the kitchen always has what they need at the right time ... A toddler suction plate is not likely to be safe to put into an industrial pot wash (risk of melting it at the temperatures they reach) and having to ask the KP to wash the plate manually takes time away from their job.

Additionally it sounds like the waitress was in the middle of trying to clear your plates after the meal when you asked her to do it - what probably happened was her hands were full of used plates/cutlery etc and then you asked her about the toddler plate when she clearly couldn't take it off you and she was exasperated at the fact you thought that that was the moment to ask her. She probably just wanted to go and get rid of the dirty plates - especially as piles of plates can be surprisingly heavy when you're trying to clear a whole tables worth - and so she was short in her response as she was just surprised that you would think to ask her to deal with your toddler's plate while she had her hands full already in the middle of Sunday lunch service and so didn't think to engage her customer service filter before she spoke.

This is one of those ‘well they don’t technically HAVE to do it but it’s bad customer service not to’ situations. It’s in the same arena as provided tap water and high chairs… neither of those things are technically required from a cafe but 99% of people would expect they do it.

I think this comes down to whether that staff member wanted a tip or not and clearly they did not 👍🏻

And you have never met another toddler? Or seen one out? Or on TV?

@leggingsandasweatshirt I think you were a but unreasonable to ask, but everyone has a brain fart now and again. The waitress was probably caught off guard - the question would have been completely unexpected, she probably had a brain fart of her own!

Don't sweat it. You took a plate as a precaution, I don't know why so many people give a shit. It's up to you if you want to carry a particular baby plate around with all your other stuff.

Or they wanted tips from all the other tables more and they knew that if they took the time to faff around with the OPs toddler plate in the middle of the Sunday lunch service then they'd risk the other tables getting annoyed as they were waiting for food/drinks/orders to be taken etc and would blame that on the waitress being inattentive because they didn't know she'd had to go and spend 10 minutes with the OPs table sorting out the toddler plate.

And before you say it wouldn't take ten minutes - by the time the waitress had gone back after taking the dirty plates to collect the toddler plate, taken it to the kitchen, with someone stopping her to ask for something else whole enroute to the kitchen, got to the pot wash, either washed it or waited for the pot washer to wash it, had an argument with the chef as to why he had tables of plates waiting while she was faffing with the pot wash, taken the plate back to the OP and then got back on track with the other tables, it can easily be 10 minutes.

I don’t get this at all. I’ve asked in the same circumstances when I’ve not had a bag to hand and it’s been no issue. I wouldn’t go back there