Asking staff to rinse toddler plate

[leggingsandasweatshirt]

I am extremely hormonal so potentially being unreasonable, but interested to see if others think this is a reasonable request or if I am over stepping:

We were out for lunch today and I brought a suction plate for DS (almost 2) because he is likely to launch a regular plate. When we'd finished I realised I'd run out of nappy bags so didn't have anything to put the dirty plate in inside my bag.

I explained this to the waitress and apologised for being a pain and asked if it was possible for someone to give it a quick rinse so I could put it in my bag without covering everything in gravy.

She looked at me like I'd just shit on the table and responded she was trying to clear the plates. I was mortified that I had clearly offended her and said it didn't matter. My step mum then suggested I rinse the plate in the sink in the toilet which I hadn't thought of, so I then went and did that.

I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - am I being an entitled wanker or is this a reasonable request?!

The commercial kitchens I've been in have systems, I'm not sure they can quick rinse anything, it was 3 stage or dishwasher from experience

It’s not unreasonable but it’s not something it would ever have occurred to me to do. I’d usually give it a wipe with a tissue/napkin/wipe and wash properly at home.

I'd have done it but probably taken it and rinsed it in the toilet sink because a) I'm not allowed into pot wash and b) chef would have my arse if pot wash who's supposed to be getting pots/pans/plates etc through asap to ensure service demand is kept up, for them to cook and plate, were washing off a plate instead. Yes it only takes seconds, but in a busy kitchen that's seconds too long. And I guess we'd probably be liable if something was cross contaminated or something onto the plate and it caused harm.

There's only hand wash sinks in the kitchen outside of pot wash which you're not allowed to put crockery in, so the bar sink (getting in their way) or the toilets pretty much my only option really.

So in the middle of a busy Sunday service it'd be a faff on for me to do, I would do it though.

Though you say she didn't say no, rather that she was trying to clear the plates - if I'm in the middle of one task and someone asks me for something else I say that I'll just finish what I'm doing "I'll just clear these plates" before I move on to the next task - because customers do tend to expect you to do it instantly because they've asked, even though they can see that you're doing something else at that moment, so I'll respond to the request but make it clear it's not going to be instant.

As for how she looked at you, well that's subjective and I would hazard a guess that her interpretation would be different to yours of the expression on her face at that moment in time.

Not unreasonable of you to ask but it isn’t unreasonable for the waitress to say no especially when she’s likely to be run off her feet. This week we forgot wipes so I wrapped my daughters plate in a paper napkin to take it home.

You ensure that in a restaurant the plate is out of reach of a plate-throwing toddler. The restaurant isn’t there to give toddlers life experiences that inconvenience others, that should be done at home / by the parents.

Tbh I wouldn’t have even thought to ask, I would have grabbed a napkin and cleaned it off as best I could and maybe wrapped it in another to take home (if not paper I would have used my own Wetwipe’s) or if really bad, taken it to the loo to rinse, saying that the waitress didn’t need to be rude.

Well it makes a lot of difference as that almost 2 and 2.5 and over is a massive amount of time in terms of child development. It’s ok though, we’ll gloss over your error.
Who said anything about not telling the child no? The reality is they are not necessarily developmentally ready to stop every time at that age. The way that poster spoke about ‘obey’ is disgusting and you know it. They were clearly ruling using fear. It’s not really that hard to understand my comment.

The child wasn't throwing any plates either way? That's the point of the suction plate. It isn't the point of the thread either way

You ensure that in a restaurant the plate is out of reach of a plate-throwing toddler. The restaurant isn’t there to give toddlers life experiences that inconvenience others, that should be done at home / by the parents.

That's exactly what the OP did do. She gave them a plate they couldn't throw.

I’m not saying they did, just responding to a post on how to get toddler to behave.

It is a massive faff to expect waiting staff to take time out of service to wash up your plate. Imagine if everyone did it?

Also I don't know why you bothered saying that you'd forgotten a nappy bag to take it home in when you then said I have asked restaurants to do this on occasion before - am I being an entitled wanker or is this a reasonable request?!

So, yes I think you're being an entitled wanker. If you want to bring your own crockery (for whatever reason) then you need to take it home with you.

The child in question was almost two. You can teach things until you’re blue in the face, but a toddler is stubborn, it’s the reason we say the terrible twos as a phase.
You said yourself toddlers are unpredictable, no-one is saying they let them do what they want.
Being an arse with a ‘well disciplined’ toddler doesn’t make you a better parent.

I think you’re over thinking this.

Your question wasn’t a terrible question. Restaurants aren’t obliged to wipe your toddler plate but it isn’t a huge imposition nor a sin to have asked. You just had an arsy/overwhelmed/new waitress who didn’t refuse politely.

Maybe she misunderstood your question. Or maybe she meant it's her job to clean the table only and washing up/rinsing dishes is nothing to do with her so she couldn't help.
YWNBU to ask, she was NBU to say no for whatever reason.
But stock up your bag before you go out!

Get yourself one of these - www.thenappygurus.com/BABABOO9DA.html?gclid=Cj0KCQiAjbagBhD3ARIsANRrqEuEzEnCuIm4LrP2uK2s_5oLZNauuhNuXCFsoZlvuyMyJ378MTm9hDYaAlvpEALw_wcB

You’ll never run out of nappy bags and you just stick them in the wash if they are dirty.

I find it a bit weird to take your own plate. I would have used a wipe.

Please do explain how you make sure a plate is out of reach for a child to drop it, yet close enough for them to eat off?

You're being ridiculous- it's perfectly reasonable to take a plastic/silicon plate for a toddler to a restaurant to avoid any accidents.

I'm sure the OP wasn't willfully allowing her toddler to just throw their plate around! That's not the same thing.

I mean it's either that or let the child throw plates at people. Taking your own plate to avoid causing discomfort for others isn't weird at all.

I worked front of us for a decade, and I would have done this for you without hesitation.

Its been nearly 2 decades since i last waited tables but I've have done thus gladly and with a smile. Your waitress was a twat. What is the world coming to.

Why would you come on a thread just do say this. Yes sometimes they do which is why people tend to use plastic/suction plates? Or knock them off the table etc etc

I never said OP was allowing her toddler to throw the plate 🙄. Why not address your lying comments to the person who said that, instead of me? I just responded to a poster sayimg how you keep a toddlee in check, which is if they are likely to throw the plate in a restaurant, then you keep the plate away, and feed them from it.

She's not asking for toddler behavioural experts guys and even if she was, I wouldn't come to the few people that have come on here to gripe and moan for parenting advice:

A lot of people don't use full sized china plates for a toddler really, is that pulling your chain? Off to Juvie for that naughty kid.

I'd have rinsed it in the sink myself or wipes it down rather than asked but either way saying yes or no its not the end of the world - just chalk it up and move on.

Yes, I think you are being an entitled CF to give them more work to do, sorry.
You say you forgot to bring a wipe on this occasion, but then later on you go on to say that you've asked restaurants to do this for you before? You need to stop being so entitled , and be more organised. It's not up to you to decide how long it will take for waiting staff to rinse the cutlery you've brought from home , or to decided if its something they could do for you or not . Don't make your problems someone else's problem. At least now, thanks to your step mum, you know to rinse the plate in the toilet, so hopefully it shouldn't be a problem in future.

My two were no angels but they never needed a suction plate! If ever they tried ti pick up their plate/ bowl it was removed with a firm "no"... pretty sure until around 2015 children had managed to not "Launch" plates of food around.

Yes op I do think you were unreasonable to expect the restaurant staff to "rinse" your plate... just wipe it with a napkin or baby wipe and take it home to wash properly!