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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIU not to give her another banana?

150 replies

isurvived3under2 · 11/03/2023 21:59

DD is nearly 5. Tonight she asked for a banana after dinner, which I said she could have. 5 minutes later she asked for another banana. I enquired what had happened to the first banana, she said she had changed her mind and had put it in the bin. But then she changed her mind again and indeed wanted a banana.

WIU to say no to a second banana, let her cry for 20 minutes and send her to bed with a 'rumbly tummy'?

OP posts:

roundofapplause · 12/03/2023 09:30

Marchforward · 12/03/2023 08:41

Seems like a lot of unnecessary stress over a 16p banana. I would have let her have it but explain why it’s problematic. I would never send a child to bed hungry.

I think it's more about the not wasting food than the cost of the banana. That's what my issue is when my DD's waste untouched food.

massifcentral · 12/03/2023 09:35

Not at all! If she were 3 it would be different; if she's nearly 5 she's already at school and shouldn't be throwing uneaten food in the bin. She knows that. She was testing a limit and you were right to reinforce it.

If I'd done that when I was a child I would probably have been smacked as well!

With my own children, I would not offer another banana but if they seemed genuinely hungry would offer plain oatcakes. (The usual choice.) They would also get an age-appropriate lecture about food cost, food waste, and the environment. (The banana making its way on a plane, on a lorry.. only to end up in our bin.)

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:38

Do all the 'hate food waste' types make your kids eat everything on their plates?

Aphrathestorm · 12/03/2023 09:38

I can't even comprehend a 5yo putting a perfectly good banana in the bin! Why didn't she come and say she didn't want it and offer it to someone else?

This is really bizarre behaviour to me!

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:40

Aphrathestorm · 12/03/2023 09:38

I can't even comprehend a 5yo putting a perfectly good banana in the bin! Why didn't she come and say she didn't want it and offer it to someone else?

This is really bizarre behaviour to me!

It's really not. She didn't want the banana so binned it. The same as I would have.

Bananas are the work of the devil so they can all get in the bin.

Beelezebub · 12/03/2023 09:49

Nope, no second banana here. Choices have consequences. She’s as well to start learning that at 5.

Roselilly36 · 12/03/2023 09:50

Bananas a cause constipation, so you are not being unreasonable. If DD was still hungry, she may be having a growth spurt so
I would have offered her something else.

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/03/2023 09:51

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:40

It's really not. She didn't want the banana so binned it. The same as I would have.

Bananas are the work of the devil so they can all get in the bin.

Show quote history

@LucyLeave

well presumably the child does like bananas hence she wouldn’t have asked for one

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/03/2023 09:52

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:38

Do all the 'hate food waste' types make your kids eat everything on their plates?

@LucyLeave

no cos that’s different isn’t it

roundofapplause · 12/03/2023 09:52

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:38

Do all the 'hate food waste' types make your kids eat everything on their plates?

Not at all. Being full is different to asking for something just for the sake of it.

R0ckets · 12/03/2023 09:54

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:38

Do all the 'hate food waste' types make your kids eat everything on their plates?

Not even remotely the same as binning an uneaten banana and asking for another.

If she'd eaten 80% of her dinner and said she was full the meal wasn't wasted, it's not at all comparable to asking for a banana licking it and then chucking it in the bin.

VitaminX · 12/03/2023 09:54

YANBU. I always tell my kids you don't take food unless you really want it. Better to finish a small portion and then have seconds than to serve yourself a big portion and get full halfway through. They can always have yoghurt right before bed if they want but if they scraped their yoghurt into the bin they certainly wouldn't be getting a second bowl.

MeinKraft · 12/03/2023 09:55

I wouldn't have given another banana but I would have given something else. Crackers are the go to boring snack in this house.

VitaminX · 12/03/2023 09:58

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:38

Do all the 'hate food waste' types make your kids eat everything on their plates?

No but I do serve them very small portions that I'm pretty certain they will finish and then offer small seconds or small thirds. Of course there's often a bit of waste because nobody has to keep eating after they are full, but I do what I can to minimise.

bussteward · 12/03/2023 10:11

I’d have offered her something boring as an alternative – porridge, toast, yoghurt – because I’d know I was looking at a 5/6am “I’m hungry” wake-up the next day, but also discussed something along the lines of “well done for clearing up your banana but next time, please put it in the fridge for later if you don’t want something, not the bin”. DD is a fiend for changing her mind but she’ll often come back to something the next day so has been trained not to bin but to fridge.

Untitledsquatboulder · 12/03/2023 10:14

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:38

Do all the 'hate food waste' types make your kids eat everything on their plates?

No but I don't provide endless meals to be chucked in the bin either.

Child wants a banana
Child chucks banana in the bin.
Child demands another banana.

How many times would you go through this loop?

melj1213 · 12/03/2023 17:51

LucyLeave · 12/03/2023 09:38

Do all the 'hate food waste' types make your kids eat everything on their plates?

Yes.

If I serve DD then I give her an amount I know she can eat, with the option to get more if she wants. When she was little I would give her small amounts of new foods and let her try them first - if she liked it then I'd give her more, if she didn't like it then only a small amount has been "wasted", though I personally don't see it as wasted as long as it has been tried. What would be "wasted" is if she tried something, said she liked it so I served her more and then she refused to eat any of it.

If my DD has served herself then I expect her to eat the majority of what is on her plate as she has the option to serve herself the amount she knows she can eat. We have always had further helpings available on condition that you serve yourself an amount you can eat. If you serve yourself a massive amount and then don't eat it then that is wasted; if you serve yourself a small amount, try it and don't like it then the rest is not "wasted" as other than the small amount on your plate the rest is still in a communal serving dish and can be saved for anyone to eat as leftovers at another time.

If, however, someone else has served DD and it's something new (so don't know if she will like it) and/or they have served her a large amount without any consultation then I have no issue with her leaving food because she had no control over what she was given and has not had an opportunity to refuse it (politely) before it was given to her.

NomiMacaroni · 12/03/2023 17:55

No, if she really was hungry (which I doubt after binning a snack she requested) then she will learn a valuable lesson. Offering another snack will only teach her to continue wasting food.

WineCap · 12/03/2023 19:29

Nah, you did the right thing OP. She was testing boundaries. She had already eaten dinner and pudding. If she was still hungry then she wouldn't have thrown the banana away.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 12/03/2023 19:36

I'd have washed it and offered it to her, or eaten it myself and given her another one and had a gentle word about food waste.

TheGoogleMum · 12/03/2023 19:43

I wouldn't have given my 4 Yr old another one if she did that. If she was that hungry she'd have eaten it instead of binned it!

Johnisafckface · 12/03/2023 20:21

I would’ve sighed, rolled my eyes then given her another banana. Some battles aren’t worth fighting

MoggyMittens23 · 13/03/2023 11:21

LuckySantangelo35 · 11/03/2023 23:09

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks

you sound sooooooo out of touch….

Show quote history

Actually just thick as shit and smug as hell... lovely!

Imagine being proud of yourself saying 'food waste doesn't bother me' gross

MoggyMittens23 · 13/03/2023 11:24

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/03/2023 23:34

This

Show quote history

This is what I would have done as well

purpledalmation · 13/03/2023 12:18

The logic of a five yo Classic

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