Upset at the way my niece & nephew treat my dcs

[Mommymoments]

DH & I live in Cardiff with our 3 dc who go to a Welsh speaking school, they love it.
I'm from rural Wales & go back quite often to visit my parents. My brother lives in the village still with his wife & kids. Their dc are similar ages to mine. We met up with them last night & they were so nasty to my dc.

Firstly they were slagging off their school, saying how much they hated the Welsh language & would prefer to jump off a cliff than go to dc's school.

Slagged my dc's off for going to a Welsh language camp during half term saying they spend their holidays relaxing not doing stupid camps.

Anything my dc said they liked they hated eg Harry Styles!

Really annoying, my DH & his wife just smirk. My dc's are a bit crestfallen & confused at how resentful they are... My mum also picked up on it & put it down to hormones.
They also seem to hate Cardiff with a passion even though they've only been their a couple of times..
Aibu to just do our own thing when we visit my parents & try to avoid them. My parents are late 60s, completely self sufficient so no bitterness about us not "helping".
My parents help my brothers kids with childcare etc, are very active. The family just seem to resent us.

@JMSA thank you for the reply. We've plans with my parents today so will be avoiding them before we head home. We'll be down again at Easter but we'll keep ourselves busy.

When I had a similar-ish situation I also spoke to DC to reassure them they were not in the wrong, the nastiness was probably driven by jealousy that was uncalled for and to try to ensure none of the negativity stuck.

sorry you all had to go through this.

You posted after the Roblox event? Why are you expecting anything to change? Just avoid them.

Duolingo is odd. Despite my childhood antipathy to learning Irish, I've been doing it on Duolingo for years and once had to translate the sentence; "Siúlann an t-iasc ar an bhféar." Which means: "The fish walks on the grass." Needless to say I got it wrong.

Well done for pointing out to your children that they do not have to accept any rudeness.
Give them a couple of simple replys to have.

Tell your mother NOT to make any plans including them while you visit.

Explain that you will be monitoring things.
That if the only thing they have to offer is rudeness then best not to be around them to AVOID a big falling out.

Stress to your mother that you would like to avoid a falling out, but will not tolerate your brother and SIL smirking while their children are rude and unkind AGAIN.

So best to take lots of space until THEY find their manners.

Be wary of your mother trying to force contact.

Encourage your parents to visit you too.

My children enjoy their cousins but in this situation space is best if all they are is unkind.

It sends an awful message to children within a family dynamic about what they should tolerate.

@billy1966 I've already said it to my mum. She keeps saying teenage hormones even though none of them are teenagers 🤷‍♀️ I have booked Sunday lunch for Easter & my parents are more than welcome to come. They usually do an Easter lunch for the family but we want to do our own thing now.

So unfortunately your mother is choosing to stick to her untrue narrative ahead of your childrens wellbeing.

You need to point that out to her and that she may choose to excuse this with a ridiculous hormone narrative, you will not accept that.

They live close by and this may be your mother choosing your brothers children ahead of yours.

Be prepared for that.

All you can do is have your boundaries for your family and your children.

Hopefully taking space might help things to calm down.

Simply put, if visiting isn't enjoyable, best to dramatically reduce time spent together and hopefully their children might grow out of their behaviour.

In the interim time, your children won't be punching bags for their rudeness.

@billy1966 yes still saying about the hormones but she did witness it which I'm glad about.
We all enjoy coming to my parents very much. There is alot to do locally & my parents are great company. We'll just keep ourselves busy over the Easter weekend & won't reach out to db's & his family.
It's times like this that I'm so grateful for mumsnet. I was so pissed off yesterday & really appreciated the support. X.

Sounds like they're repeating what they hear their parents say.

I bet you're brother's jealous.

I would definitely avoid. Personally, I'd also message my brother and ask him to have a word with his kids as they were rude and you found their attitude quite embarrassing.

@EmmaDilemma5 yes that's what I think too**. It's an incredibly insular attitude to be passing onto their dc & won't do them any favours in the future.

To be honest I never gave a thought to what they think of us..