To wonder if any other parents of toddlers feel like this?

[Thesmoothblackrock]

Feel like they’re at work all the time? I feel like the days are a sort of long 12 hour shift where I can’t relax in my own home, I find it so hard.

None of my friends say this so wondering if I’m alone.

The toddler stage is the main reason i chose to be childfree. Hats off to those who are contending with it.

I remember being very lonely in the toddler years and can relate to so much on this thread.
I spent an enormous amount of time on mn.
Someone said to me once that we are not supposed to parent alone as a species and that we evolved to leave childcare to the older kids in the middle of the circle of huts while the women prepped food gathered food and talked to each other. That sounds plausible to me given how isolating it can be.

DS was at the very easy end of the spectrum as a toddler, I think, but I wouldn't have been a SAHM for anything. I found it very difficult to 'switch off' from being alert if that makes sense. But then I found the baby stage worse and didn't enjoy maternity leave at all...whereas I think a lot of people genuinely enjoy that.
I didn't really enjoy being a Mum until he was 3.5 to 4 and it's been more and more of a breeze since then. Ive absolutely loved being a Mum since then. I don't think everyone finds it easier but I would have thought most do. I've only got the one though (not through choice) so have never had to go back to the beginning, which I think makes a difference as I see people with additional kids struggle although it's only short term, of course. I now finish work at 3 to pick DS up from school (he's junior age)..which is the right balance for me.

Hahahaha DH and I are both self employed, coparent equally 50/50 and regard our work days as a day off! We have DS5 and DD1 and DD is just beginning to get into the non-stop activity phase. Being a SAHM/D is sooo much harder than a day at work.

Toddler mayhem breakfast update. Decided to do pancakes... Put jam on DS4s pancake, he decides he no longer likes jam. Because DS4 said that OBVIOUSLY DS also decided he no longer likes jam (both would before today demand jam on toast for every meal). So now both are whinging and I have ran out of pancake mix. FML

Hats off to you all. Reading this has brought back memories I had blocked out.

It gets better.

Here it is Saturday morning and DH and I are discussing whether we have the energy to insist that our two young teens wake up and join in breakfast with us.

And whether it would be shit parenting to just leave them to it and enjoy a lovely breakfast alone just the two of us 🤣

@BumpyaDaisyevna do it! It’s scientifically proven that teens need a lie in 😉

Definitely keep them in nursery while you're on mat leave! It was the best thing I did. It helps them adjust by keeping their routine and you get a day or 2 to enjoy time with the new baby. I've also put baby in a day a week from 6 months (just started) to give me some actual time to myself. A friend has really frowned at that and suggested it made me a terrible mum but I couldn't care less. My mental health is just as important as anything else.

I feel you all. Its utterly exhausting, and then the guilt for not savouring every moment because it does go quickly. hate wishing the days away but i look forward to 7pm so much 🤣

i now have 2 kids, oldest 4 and the youngest 2 and they are constantly winding each other up and i’m on my with them on the weekends and i just dread weekends because i can’t be fucked to take them anywhere when it will just end up with tantrums and tears within 10 mins of being out!

my friend asked me if i get sunday blues before work on a monday and I laughed, sundays are my fridays. I was a sahm for 3 years and being back at work has been a joy. my office is small and i enjoy the peace so much

We are exactly the same set up. Going to work is a break, and I can sit in the office and just hear our 2 year old bossing DH about, and think "thank goodness it's not me today"

100%. Feel guilty when I'm told I'll miss this and to love every second when all I'm doing is counting down till bedtime. Its bloody hard, yet mind numbing at the same time!

Oh gosh, that's what I wish I'd done on maternity leave - put baby into nursery for half a day a week. It would have made up for our lack of family support and made such a difference to my mental health!

When the new leisure centre opened it had a crèche that would take them from six months old for up to two hours. DD was a toddler then - I'd put her into crèche for two hours, then go and sit in the cafe and drink coffee in peace!

Seriously too, the only way I survived those years up to four was being at work 3 days a week and then being out of the house on the other days - we used to go to a toddler group every weekday I wasn't at work. Other mums to talk to, the toddlers can trash someone else's space and it somehow reduced the intensity of it all? The children's centre used to do brilliant sessions but then closed in a round of cuts.