To wonder if any other parents of toddlers feel like this?

[Thesmoothblackrock]

Feel like they’re at work all the time? I feel like the days are a sort of long 12 hour shift where I can’t relax in my own home, I find it so hard.

None of my friends say this so wondering if I’m alone.

Reading this makes me feel less guilty. I sometimes look forward to work on Monday's just for a rest. God I love the absolute bones off DS (17 months) but I totally get the boredom and being unable to relax in your own home. I always feel like I'm not doing enough with him even though I really try my best. I recently got a new job and increased my days from 3 to 4 and almost didn't take it because I thought I'd miss him too much, it was definitely the right choice that I did though and feel like I enjoy my time with him more. The thought of being a SAHM makes me shiver.

Yes. And the night shift starts. 😶

Feel like they’re at work all the time?

Fuck no, work is much less demanding

I think it’s just about attitude sometimes. I see loads of people on here complaining about about taking their kids to parks and how boring it is. I quite enjoy taking DD 20months to the park. I love how much she loves it and how happy she is running around so I find it quite nice. We will talk to the park, stop off for a babycino on the way and then get something from the bakery and walk home.

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, and I work 9pm til 2am five nights a week.

I love my children more than anything but the happy moments where I actually enjoy being a mother are few and far between. Most of the time I’m just surviving the days, then DH finishes work, I have a nap and then I start work. Right now, I would say that I love my life maybe 10-15% of the time. The rest of the time I absolutely fucking hate it.

I was very naive once and I would drive past beautiful family homes in the morning before it was fully light and especially when it was raining, cold and windy outside. I’d think how lovely it would be to be a mummy with lovely children at home.

🤣🤣🤣

@AngeloMysterioso i don’t know how you manage that honestly, 10pm is a really, really late night for me.

It's unrelenting isn't it? For me at the moment it's being screamed at when I do the wrong thing, despite not having been told it's the wrong thing. Nor can I make sense through the screams of what the right thing is.

And I'm physically exhausted because she's refusing the pushchair but wants to walk, then be carried, then walk, then be carried. The school run is like a 2 stone kettlebell workout. When she does walk it's excruciatingly slow then darting off like a bolt of lightning, wrenching her hand out of mine.

It's a good job they're cute isn't it? You can see why they're designed to be cute so we don't just shove them in a drawer somewhere. The little arms around my neck for a cuddle and the random kisses in the night do make up for it quite a lot but omg I do really love the sessions she does at nursery!

DTwins have just turned 3.

I have never worked harder in my life. This morning, she had peed her bed with seemingly 50 pints of pee. So the sheets, bedding, toys all need washing. Both nappies had leaked a bit. Both of them needed a clean down. Breakfast. DTwins to nursery. Laundry on. Airing the room. Make shepherds pie for Saturday, as the very idea I could have an hour to make it tomorrow with them under my feet is not even a thing. Then there was another load of laundry where she had a poo explosion last night and didn't have time to deal with as was at elder DS parents evening. Sort their room. Do rest of households laundry. Order mother's day gift for next week. DH trying to work and also fixing window on car that I managed to wedge open last night in a snow blizzard. This is a day they were at nursery! Home they come, DH did pick up, for reasons known only to himself, boy twin would not get out of the car. Girl twin wanted nothing to do with mummy and howled when I had the audacity to pick something up for her instead of daddy. Bed time can't come soon enough. The days they aren't at nursery I feel like I've run a marathon by 6pm.

Small children are exhausting. I had a full time role in finance, which was a walk in the park in comparison.

Argghhh the screaming. We’re having dummy battles at the moment, it’s horrendous.

I’m one of the lucky ones with a decent, supportive DH… on the days he WFH he gets up with the DC and lets me sleep as long as he can, and takes over as soon as he finishes and does dinner and bedtime so I can have a couple of hours sleep before work, and lets me lie in at weekends. The boys are in nursery two days a week and to be honest I used to think I would be so productive with that time, that I would be cleaning and doing hobbies and reading books etc but I spend most of it sleeping!

I usually work full time but I am off on maternity with my second baby - who is a dream thankfully. However, unlike last time, this time I have a 2 year old and it is intense.

I am actually grieving for my maternity leave as silly as that sounds. All I can think of is how I was able to appreciate the silence of a newborn, warm coffee, nice walks, meeting friends going shopping, getting chores done. My poor newborn plays second fiddle and I feel so sorry for her.

I probably have a touch of the baby blues but I honestly feel so much anxiety when I wake in the morning thinking how I am going to try and get the day in. Toddler classes at the minute for me would not help as I would spend the whole time running after DD1 as she's not at a stage where she understands things like that.

It's exhausting and you're not alone.

@Emerald237 i hear this as an almost pregnant … does your toddler go to nursery at all?

Yup. My little boy has just turned 2, and God I love him to death but he is HARD work. I work Mon- Thurs and it's just me and him on a Friday.

Normally I have something planned for a Friday as I CANNOT stay in the house with him all day long, he would be climbing the walls and therefore drives me insane - but today with the snow we were house bound. He woke at 6.30 and was a bit of a jerk this morning, tantruming over the smallest things and unhappy with everything I suggested or offered. "I WANT MY DADDDYYYYYYY" was his favourite line this morning cos he was clearly annoyed with me. Also to add he no longer naps - so I got him to bed at 7pm tonight, and I swiftly poured a big glass of red wine - that was a 12.5 hour shift with no break 🙃

Just to note my husband is normally pretty good and will relieve me as soon as he finishes work, but he isn't well at the moment (and we know what men are like when they are poorly... 😑)

I would agree with you that I feel like very few of my friends say things like this. I was one of the last of my friends to have a baby- when my friends went back to work part time, I was so jealous of them working 3 days and thought the days off with the little ones sounded so lovely. HA how naive was I?! My career wouldn't allow me to work 3 days and stay at the same level, but now that I am experiencing toddlerhood, I am ashamed to say I am glad I work 4 days.

It's a funny one isn't, I genuinely love the little guy to death, he is my everything, but I could not be a SAHM!!!!

I know, I really do love mine and there are some aspects of parenting I enjoy. It’s definitely not having adult company. Things like the park are so much more enjoyable with another mum to talk to!

I remember this all so well
i had two close together and was a single parent
wake up at silly o clock-to whinging
breakfast-trying to keep an eye on them both,getting it wrong with the cereal/bowl/spoon/nothing that made sense-whinging
wash and dressed-if I was lucky I’d be able to have a quick shower-screaming while I was in there
get ready to go out-that was a job in itself
finally got out-quickly became knackered as the buggy was heavy but at least I wasn’t listening to the whinging
stop them trying to run off/fight/try to keep walking while they screamed
stay at home-low grade whinging while making mess faster than I could clean it
feed them-see breakfast
finally after a day of sheer boredom/stress it was bedtime
whinging,moaning and trying to settle two was hell
fall into bed at half 7/8 as was knackered

i do miss those days when I look back but I never want to re-visit them-it was hard work

I have a 4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old. I had the second during covid and was ECV so had no visitors at all. I think people don't talk about how hard it is because it's really taboo. Everyone else's kid are perfect, sleep through the night and can talk three languages at 3 months old or so they would like you to believe. I used to work with children all day long and my 2 are harder work. It's relentless. My day never ends because my youngest wakes up at least 3 times a night. I have aged so much. I often joke about buyers remorse (IVF baby) but I'm not really joking.

I felt like this op. I'm out the other side now with a 6yro and it's all much much easier. So - it's brutal but if you can just grit your teeth you'll be out the other side in a couple of years. Easier by 3, fine by 4. Twins are a different matter though so to any twin mums.

Yeah a couple of days a week. But still, life is as hectic as it ever has been for me which isn't helping.

I hated being a sahm when my DTs were toddlers! It was an utterly miserable time, some days were lovely don’t get me wrong, but age 2-4 was a complete shit show. Once they turned 4, it’s like a switch flicked and they became lovely kids again. Hang in there!

This is EXACTLY how I find parenting. It’s just like being at work in my own home. Even when I’m enjoying it it’s not peaceful or relaxing or what I’d be choosing to do if there was just myself to consider. After 7pm I am off the clock and it’s blissssssss.

Only now have I actually developed a love for my actual job, because I get to be alone and sit in peace four days a week.

YES. Currently on maternity leave with
DD2 (6 months) and DD1 (nearly 3) is at home all the time except one day at nursery. I am exhausted by the end of the day and don't want to do anything other than crawl into bed!

I love these threads, it’s just so heartening to know it’s not just you. My god I have struggled so much with young kids. I worked 3 days until a year ago when I was fed up of being pulled in different directions, and became a SAHM for the last year. I was so determined to learn to enjoy it, but after a year I can accept that I just don’t. I’m not fulfilled by just this, and I find the dullness so hard sometimes. Worst thing though is the having to battle over almost every fucking thing. I’m intrigued by the people who don’t hate it at times tbh, I can only assume that their children are of the easier variety? I’m also intrigued about how many of us had less than amazing parenting ourselves, I feel my mums difficulty tolerating strong emotions is quite central in why I find things quite overwhelming. Anyhoo, solidarity to all the fucked off mums!

I used to think this too. And the ones out pushing their darlings in their prams.

Now I fully loved taking DS for a walk but I’ve now realised they are rarely doing it for actual fun. They’re doing it for a purpose, to induce a nap, to get out of the same four walls, to walk the dog. I know that thousand yard stare of an exhausted mother getting even more exhausted trying to get her baby to nap so she gets an hour of silence.

Wow I love this thread feel like I have found my tribe!

i have a almost 16 month old and pregnant currently 17 weeks. No idea how I will manage with two, husband works tues to sat 7am-9pm not around for bedtime. I work four days a week at the moment and thank god I do!

would anyone fancy to make a WhatsApp solidarity group or anything to get us through 🤣🤣