To wonder if any other parents of toddlers feel like this?

[Thesmoothblackrock]

Feel like they’re at work all the time? I feel like the days are a sort of long 12 hour shift where I can’t relax in my own home, I find it so hard.

None of my friends say this so wondering if I’m alone.

I find my actual work is like a break 🙃

I feel like this today particularly; my working days are more restful. I feel sad that I look forward to the evenings so much.

Yes I feel guilty about it a lot

Oh yes. Your times not your own when there's a toddler in the house. Even simple things like reading a book - I can get 2 pages in before I get a doll chucked at my head. Or crocheting - yes if I want my wool immediately strewn around the room!

I didn't enjoy being at home much with toddlers tbh. I did 3 days a week at work and enjoyed it much more. I wish I had done more days tbh!

Oh don't feel guilty though. It's not that you don't want to be with your child. It's just that it's difficult to do anything with them around and it's very constrictive.

I felt it today and mines only 10 months. Really hard day

It is so difficult! I just struggle to fill time and I used to think SAHMs had such an easy life but I realise how stupid that was.

Yes! I get so bored on the days it’s just me and my 2 year old. Love him to pieces but it can be so mind numbing and there’s only so many verryyyy sloooow walks around the park I can take.

You're not alone. I've worked 3 days a week since 2019 but I think I'm going to go up to 4 days until DS starts school in September. We've exhausted every local attraction and none of our friends are free on one of the days as the mums are at work!

The constant whining, whinging, asking for snacks, the tantrums over me offering the wrong spoon, the effort of getting out the house, the inexplicable mess everywhere even when you feel like you're cleaning all day, being covered in body fluids all the time, oh and finding cheerios stuck to your socks every 5 minutes. Then there's the mum guilt for not enjoying the above and for putting cartoons on for hours to get some peace. Trust me you're not alone. Patenting toddlers is so so hard.

@Higgeldypiggeldy35 thats my life yeah … isn’t a snack pesterer to be fair but so often it feels like nothing is good enough!

I start “work” the second my four year old wakes up.
get everyone up, get dressed, sort the dogs, keep the child on time, breakfast, nursery drop off, walk dogs, work 8 hours, straight back to nursery, cook tea, tidy up a bit, feed dogs, eat, bath time, bed time.
that doesn’t include the random little things I do throughout the day when working from home.
it’s like I’m at work from 6am until 7pm and when you throw tantrums and not listening in the mix….

This is so interesting to read. DS is 2.5, and I don’t feel this way at all. We either go out or tootle about at home. We co-sleep so I’m never away from him at home. I do sometimes wish I could just go to bed, and actually go to sleep! But, daytime, he does plenty without my input.

This is exactly how I feel. I’m at the end of a particularly relentless three weeks of work, house work and parenting and I feel absolutely drained of life.

DD is currently refusing to go down to bed and my partner has just said “do you want me to go up to her?” underlining that, having not been here all week or contributed in any way to parenting or the household chores, he fully believes this is my responsibility that he can offer to help with if he feels inclined.

If I’m lucky, after DD finally goes to sleep, there will be a 30 minute window of “me time” before I go to sleep and then get up and do it all over again.

So basically, I hear you sister.

@Thesmoothblackrock im sending solidarity. I actually increased my hours to 4 days a week because honestly i dont enjoy being at home for 10 hours a day on my own with my kids. Which I feel terrible about as well. Guilty every day. But i figure Im a better mum if I am happy. I had postnatal depression and anxiety with my second as well.

I’m probably in a bit of a negative spiral at the moment. Fed up of teletubbies and mr tumble, no idea how to entertain toddler without expensive soft play (hideous) or toddler groups (enjoyable but only one hour of a 12 hour shift) or parks (cold and miserable and so dull)

Yes, which is why I work 3 days a week. 😂

I just posted on another thread saying I think I was a much better parent because I went back to work in the toddler years and got dds a nanny. Toddlers need so much time and attention. It’s exhausting!!!

of course another poster immediately claimed she loved looking after toddlers and that they were the best years of her life. But while they were lovely times I definitely did the right thing giving myself a break.

I do get a break with 3 days a week work. But I still have the before and after to deal with (not too bad) but also it’s not like work is stress free so that complicates the issue to a large extent. Then I find myself dreading weekends as it’s more of the same.

I have a 6 year old and 9 month old, work from home PT with the baby. Do all the school run, 80% of the cooking, cleaning, etc. I'm exhausted and just want to run away most days.

Personally have a mixture depending on what sort of mood my toddler is in. The latest battle is refusal to go anywhere, no matter how well it is sold to him. On those days, I would happily swap places with my full-time working DH😅but the mess, oh my goodness nothing prepared me for the mess

This.

The luxury of being able to pee without companionship / 3 year old climbing all over me.

Mine was so awful at this age I applied for a full time job with a long commute just so I didn't have to spend as much time with her! I already worked 3 days a week (with much shorter commute) and that was the only way we survived the experience!

Toddlers are a nightmare!

Little kids are so intense. It's always full on, you're always on the go, you don't get much time to just sit down with a hot drink and totally relax.

It gets better as they get more used to pottering about doing their own thing, or they'll sit and watch a CBeebies programme, or get engrossed in something. And toddler stuff just isn't everyone's bag. You might find the things they want to do mind-numbing and find it hard to fake enthusiasm and pretend excitement.

I didn't have WhatsApp when DS was in this stage. It would have been easier on me if I had as I could have occasionally tried to raise some solidarity from other parents going through it too. As it was I felt quite isolated and every day seemed to last forever.

It does get easier as they get older fortunately.