What % of your income from work do you spend because of work?

[verdantverdure]

AIBU to ask you what percentage of your income from working you spend because you are working?

A younger family member has asked me to cast an eye over her sums and it looks to me like she can't afford to go back to work after maternity leave.

Once you add up nursery and the commute, she's already running at a loss even before she buys new work clothes to fit her post pregnancy figure and current norms at her workplace.

Not including convenience foods such as pre chopped veg or a bought in lasagne etc so she can get dinner on the table soon after she gets home, or takeaways for the nights she's too shattered to do that.

A cleaner do her weekends can be family time not housework time?

Treats to cheer her up because life is a bit of a grind?

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work?

What about you?

What percentage of your income from working do you spend because you are working?

That price is total insanity, although obviously nursery staff should be paid properly. I really hope the campaigns for government subsidies for childcare come through or I might never get to be a granny! I keep seeing Instagram posts about childcare in Europe costing like €500 a YEAR and I can't believe Brits are expected to just suck it up that it costs so much. It's terrible.

@ShadowPuppets

Presumably you chose the mortgage?

Am I doing life wrong?

Do people work to get money and then think it's outrageous that they have to spend most of it?

I kind of thought that was the point.

Plus I see @verdantverdure is showing her true hand

Why all the subterfuge?

Why not just start a post saying you don't think it's worthwhile for women with young kids to work?

Basically yes unless she can change jobs/sectors and thus reduce commute or wfh to recue commuting costs or increase her take home pay.

P/T an option keep foot in door but that comes with it's own massive issues and would need to look at the sums again.

Compress hours or both go p/t to avoid childcare costs - know some parents who did that. Many more who kept going with GP /family childcare support.

There are costs associated with working and often more hidden costs/risk with being SAHM - though are benefits as well - upshot having kids is very expensive.

Or just modify option 2 but don't spend a load of money on a cleaner and blowdries. It's not rocket science

There was a bit in Maternal on ITV where they said nursery in Sweden is £150 a month and I could hardly credit it. I looked it up and found that the U.K. has some of the highest childcare costs in Europe.

Sweden's is under 3% of an average couple's earnings and the UK's is 28% or something like that.

@Sandinmyknickers

Childcare plus commute is more than her take home.

I'm all for questioning everything you read but where's the subterfuge?

I spend about 10-15% I'd estimate. Mostly because I tend to buy lunch from the café as I hate pack lunches and I don't have time in the morning. I also tend to pay for certain things that I want but aren't essential.

It seems even worse than when we had to do it, and few people seem to have any grandparent support. Mainly because the grandparents have jobs of their own of course.

@verdantverdure

Your op.

Although tbf the bias was clear

It costs what it costs, but if you count the whole childcare then you should count both their incomes to your calculation

I think it's honest and realistic to factor those kinds of things in. I kind of struggle to believe people who say going to work costs them nothing and they would have this car anyway, and never buy work clothes or convenience foods for dinner or a sandwich from Pret to save time and effort.

We paid decorators at one pint because our weekends were all cleaning and catching up and getting ready for next week so there was no time for DIY.

Ireland - DS is 10 so does wraparound for three days a week I've just worked out that it costs me 9% of my salary. If I include the child benefit that everyone gets here it brings it down to 7.2% including the government childcare subsidy.

Childcare costs in the UK is eyewatering!!

You'll be saying you had to spend money on a bed because you had to sleep to go to work next

🙄

I kind of struggle to believe people who say going to work costs them nothing and they would have this car anyway, and never buy work clothes or convenience foods for dinner or a sandwich from Pret to save time and effort.

Why is that more unbelievable than that your friend would have to spend 4K on commuting and childcare alone?

I walk to work. That costs me nothing, and saves me having to find exercise/fresh air time elsewhere in the day.

I take lunch, tea and milk to work. I don't take any money. There isn't anywhere in easy walking distance to buy stuff other than the overpriced work cafe anyway.

Pasta and a sauce is as quick to make as convenient food. Weekend meals are batch cooked and cover (at least) 2 meals each.
I have one pair of trousers, 5 tops and a couple of cardigans that I wear to work (and also outside work). None of them are less than 5 years old. Like many people, I don't have masses of spare income and I'm not going to waste it on pret sandwiches and unecessary clothing.

Her choices are:

<strong>1.	Take a couple of years off and materially damage her career and pension.</strong> 

Correct.

<strong>2.	Be a financial drain on the family finances for a couple of years because childcare and commuting costs eat up more than her take home pay, plus they won&rsquo;t even be able to afford takeaways or a cleaner to make things easier.</strong> 

Does that sound about right?

1. Is incorrect. It's not her who is a financial drain on the family finances. It's that the family circumstances have changed and the burden of adapting to this change is falling entirely on her.

Also while there is a financial penalty in this situation (assuming nothing changes and the burden is all in her), overall she's strengthening the family finances in the future.

I can wear what I like to work, as long as I have fully enclosed shoes, my thighs are covered when sitting, just general safety things. Non public facing. I save my best clothes for my own time, work is work polo or a t-shirt, work fleece, jeans, trainers or boots. So it does cost me nothing in clothing.

Convenience foods or bought lunches are just not an option as I can't afford them, as I assume would be the case for many other low paid working parents. Paid decorators, again, not an option 😆.

Nothing really.
I get a lift to work. Wear a uniform provided by employer. Take lunch/ evening meal. Drinks are provided by employer. Can't have painted/ false nails.

I don’t have “work clothes”. I wear what I would normally wear at home or out and about, and I work in an office in London. I have never bought convenience foods, and a takeaway is a once-a-year rarity. I would never buy lunch or coffee out from Pret or wherever. I take my own lunch from home. I don’t have a car at all. My commute costs I do have to pay for. My children are older now, but I had a childminder when they were little. I returned to work when they were six months old. Household chores were done at the weekend -washing etc. That’s normal.

I'm still confused.

This is not her first child.

Therefore she knew that nursery costs £81 a day.

She knew what she earned.

She decided to have another child.

What did she think was going to happen?

When I've done farm work I've worn old jeans/shorts and trainers with charity shop polo shirts and fleeces. Wellies were provided. I only had to buy a decent rain jacket. Work costs were childcare when DS was younger, car commute costs, and longer showers.

Care work (nursing home) was the right colour polo and trousers, both cheap, trainers, and the car commute.

I do think many of the OP's imagined costs come from a position of privilege. Many are just not an option for many working parents as they can't afford them. You just get on with it, batch cook, clean at the weekend, and so on, that's just how it is.

Around 30% I think. On personal grooming and clothes. My fuel costs were minimal as I worked about 10 miles from home. I didn't buy any materials or equipment for my job

Also arguments about not having time to cook or clean apply to every single person who works full time. It's not a parents issue.

Millions and millions of people manage to work, feed themselves and keep.their homes clean. It's not some impossible ask

everyone has to make thier own choices based on thier own circumstances. Some people would have chosen to have the 2nd child once the older one went to school to they were not paying for 2 lots of nursery. Other people will work evenings in a different job so they don’t have to pay for nursery at all. Others may decide that working essentially for £0 for a couple of years is worth it for thier career progression and future earnings.

there will be things they can cut from the budget eg cleaners and takeaways to make the financial impact of 2 in what seems like an extortionate nursery less.

I’ve just checked out local nursery and it’s £51 a day with 10% sibling discount so would be £96 a day which is not much more thatn 1 place that your friend is paying for!

I would say that most of the stuff on your list are absolute luxuries and that you must be speaking from a place of privilege and high salaries as most normal people do not or can not afford those things.

if your friend becomes a SAHM will she not have to buy clothes? Will she not get her hair done or buy make up? She won’t have lunch out at a soft play or pick up a takeaway coz kids have been a nightmare and clingy all day so she hasn’t had time to cook? She won’t take kids to the zoo or the local attraction for something to do? Spend £10 a week on toddler group, then £10 entry to soft play, £10 on baby music class or whatever the latest one is? Heating and food bills will be higher as she will be at home and kids won’t be getting fed at nursery. Buying craft supplies and more toys to entertain as won’t be doing those sorts of things at nursery etc etc

if you are going to make every outgoing related to work then she needs to do the same calculations for being a SAHM.