What % of your income from work do you spend because of work?

[verdantverdure]

AIBU to ask you what percentage of your income from working you spend because you are working?

A younger family member has asked me to cast an eye over her sums and it looks to me like she can't afford to go back to work after maternity leave.

Once you add up nursery and the commute, she's already running at a loss even before she buys new work clothes to fit her post pregnancy figure and current norms at her workplace.

Not including convenience foods such as pre chopped veg or a bought in lasagne etc so she can get dinner on the table soon after she gets home, or takeaways for the nights she's too shattered to do that.

A cleaner do her weekends can be family time not housework time?

Treats to cheer her up because life is a bit of a grind?

Stuff like hair, make up and nails so she looks "groomed" at work?

What about you?

What percentage of your income from working do you spend because you are working?

Is the wrap-around care for the nursery children? Who does that? Wouldn’t a nanny be cheaper and more convenient?

Her OH has a longer commute and is often away during the week for work. @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

If she's having to pay all the childcare costs out of her salary she'd be better off as a single parent, at least then could claim UC to help!

People don’t usually put their children in ft nursery plus 3.5 hrs wrap around a day 5 days a week. Hence the sky high childcare cost.
If both parents are working those hrs then they will need a nanny.
Or most parents sort between them so one drops and one picks up.
Their whole set up needs looking at as 2 children in childcare 14.5 hrs a day 5 days a week isn’t sustainable.

Is her oh looking for a job more suited to family life?

Is she?

If they can afford to loose 4 k they can afford to both drop 2 k in wages

When I returned to work I spent 75% of my income
on childcare.

My take home pay was £1600 and nursery cost £1200. DH paid the mortgage, bills and groceries once my mat pay went to statutory and then carried on until nursery costs reduced as it worked out fair with our income.

We ran two cars but we would have anyway as we live rurally and what I spent on work lunches and fuel I would have spent on baby groups/cafes.

I never considered not returning to work despite lots of friend saying it didn’t make financial sense. Three months after I returned my employer unexpectedly gave me a promotion and funded my masters. DD is now in full time school with just a couple of breakfast clubs so my childcare costs are less than 2% of my take home pay and I’m in a much more senior position and higher salary. DH and I had to adapt with each change and we share household costs but things are much easier now childcare isn’t our biggest bill.

It’s easy to think short term and assume it’s not worth it financially but the long term impact of that decision can mean women lose all career and future earnings traction.

How about part nursery and part nanny? Nursery three days and nanny two days? Nanny stays at the home or locally. No need for nanny to have a car or do paid activities.

Thanks @eirlaw

That is the salient point. As I summarised upthread. None of the choices are good.

Handing over all your take home pay on childcare and commute doesn't feel "privileged".

Everybody corporate with a commute works these hours don't they?

@verdantverdure

Being able to afford to spend 4k per month on something is undeniably privileged

It's not your money though

But it’s only temporary. The privilege is keeping your job and all that brings with it, and the fact that the family can actually afford it. But I agree it’s a long time for small children to be in childcare.

Wrap around care and commuting are my only work related costs. I don't buy different clothes, do more make up etc than I would if wasn't working and all other household bills would remain the same.

On that basis, it's 2.6% on commuting (seeing as I'd have to run a car regardless) and 26% on childcare BUT I'm not responsible for all of that cost.

No. It’s not normal to use wrap around plus ft nursery - most nurseries are 7.30-6 type hours.
Many people don’t have a commute. Lots have wfh days now.
If they are truly both out of house 5am - 7pm 5 days plus him some overnights then they are in live in help territory.

Literally in tears of laughter at this.. good one

So.child one.is born. She has mat leave.

She then returns to.work. So knows exactly what the cost of nursery is.

And doesn't ask for compressed hours or working from home.

She then gets pregnant with child number two.

And has maternity leave with child two.

Surely there's only a very few months before the 30 hours kick.in?

And if she really needs 6 to 8 childcare, and a partner who is not in any way willing to adjust his way of life. Then she needs a nanny.

A nanny doesn't need to bought a card or paid for activities for children under three.

Both parents need to adjust their way of life when they have a child.

And.as this is their second child , which they've had in very quick succession, then they both should know this

About a third of my income on childcare. Plus a little more on petrol. I wouldn’t count convenience food, work lunches, clothes etc in particular. I wouldn’t want to be a sahm and wear rubbish clothes, never have a ready meal etc. and nursery saves money in some ways as I’m less worried about taking dc to groups, outings, soft play etc as I feel they have had some full on sociable days at nursery anyway so we do smaller trips like to the library, to see the ducks etc. also less money spent on crafts etc as they’ve done lots of that at nursery.

I was hoping to get more ideas about the hidden cost of working so they could be factored into the sums. As so often though, the thread took a bit of a turn.

She's interested in the whole picture, and not unreasonably thinks how it will go is that she will be out of the house 12-13 hours, then do bedtime and make dinner, eat diner and then need to be in bed so she can do it again the next day. Realistically anything that speeds up dinner is going to be very tempting. And so is a cleaner.

Good point!

It's on the "Nanny" costs list as well.

She's been snipping split ends herself and take the risk of an almost free one at the technical college, but that won't cut it for the professional grooming standard of work.

She is trying to consider everything,

Her husband will be paying the mortgage and all the other bills on his own, because her salary will be swallowed up on childcare and commute so she's trying to work out what else he's going to have to pay for because her money will be all gone.

“Professional grooming standard at work”? What on earth? You make her sound like an escort. She can’t put her hair in a bun? A pony tail?

They’re married. All their money is joint. Not his money or her money. They have joint money.

If she is out of the house 6am to 6pm, when is she managing to go to the (pfft) blow dry bar, nail salon and whatever else she seems to think she will need in order to do her job?

I literally have zero clue what industry this woman could possibly work in. No female execs I've worked with in the last 10 years have needed or chose this much maintenance.