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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did I just hear Sunak promise to investigate inappropriate and unsafe sex education in school?

605 replies

Nimbostratus100 · 08/03/2023 12:20

Did I just hear Sunak promise to investigate inappropriate and unsafe sex education in school?

I don't really listen to priminister questions, but I was just channel hopping waiting for the kettle to boil

So IABU to dance a little dance?

YABU - no you misheard, he didn't say that/ he said it but it is meaningless

YANBU - yes you heard it, yes it means something, dance away

OP posts:
Hobbi · 08/03/2023 19:02

@lifeturnsonadime

Thank you for the link. NSCU is run by evangelical Christians and has links to the religious right. I've read their manifesto and the default position appears to be blaming left wing views for society's problems. It also bemoans the decreasing influence on policy of faith communities. This isn't necessarily a great starting point for evidence based SRE, but I'll read the link.

Rainbowshit · 08/03/2023 19:04

minipie · 08/03/2023 18:55

I’m on the fence about whether things like anal sex and “breath play” should be mentioned in schools.

But I am certain that IF they are mentioned, the next sentence should be along the lines of “these things are shown in porn, because porn focuses on extreme types of sex act, but in real life many people do not enjoy these and it is absolutely acceptable to say you don’t want to”.

If they are mentioned without this sort of caveat there is a strong risk that children get the impression it’s all normal and everyone is doing this stuff. Which just reinforces what porn is already telling them.

The real issue is not that these acts are being mentioned, it’s that they’re being mentioned as if they are a totally standard and expected part of sex.

I absolutely think that anal sex should be mentioned but there really needs to be caveats. It should be particularly pointed out to girls that they are at higher risk of serious injuries than boys from anal sex.

And very importantly they should feel able to say no.

Lockheart · 08/03/2023 19:10

Hobbi · 08/03/2023 19:02

@lifeturnsonadime

Thank you for the link. NSCU is run by evangelical Christians and has links to the religious right. I've read their manifesto and the default position appears to be blaming left wing views for society's problems. It also bemoans the decreasing influence on policy of faith communities. This isn't necessarily a great starting point for evidence based SRE, but I'll read the link.

It immediately starts off by using words like "indoctrination". Hardly a good basis for reviewing evidence impartially when you make your bias so obvious from the first paragraph. I would take it all with a truckload of salt.

WiIson · 08/03/2023 19:14

Finally a small step in the right direction. I almost had a tiny bit of respect for Rishi today, although I'm definitely not won over yet by a long way. We should never have got to this stage in the first place. Although it is a relief that finally someone is slowly rolling this madness back, bit by bit.

GrabbyGabby · 08/03/2023 19:15

Treehappy · 08/03/2023 13:32

I don't think you understand. The people going into schools to teach RSE ARE part of the porn culture in our society normalising these acts. They are pro-porn, pro-sex work, boundary eroding queer theorists. They are making this stuff seem mainstream and they are part of the pressure on young girls to behave like they do in porn films.

THIS. With knobs on

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 19:16

Well everyone starts from a position of bias in reality. Especially when it comes to views on whether it is appropriate for Gender to be taught as fact in schools.

With other religious beliefs parents have a choice and they can choose to opt for a faith school or not.

Parents are not being given a choice, seemingly, over the teaching of gender to children in schools.

Same for Kink and Queer Theory. Most parents wouldn't want that taught as fact in schools either.

An investigation into whether this is happening in our schools and a discussion of what is appropriate is a very valid thing for the PM to do.

Those who believe in Gender and QT might well be concerned that an investigation is to take place.

Vebrithien · 08/03/2023 19:17

Believeitornot · 08/03/2023 15:37

I heard it and rolled my eyes. Parents are shown what materials will be taught at primary school, and my experience is that it was age appropriate. (My youngest is in year 6). So it feels like another culture war to me.

My DD is 6yo. Her school teaches that gender is a protected characteristic, not sex. That humans can change sex. I have raised concerns, and have, amongst other things, have been threatened by the school with the police, for defaming the school. For saying that the school had dismissed my concerns, and that they had to quite the Equality Act correctly.

I teach secondary science. I have year 7 students coming up, who think that humans can change sex. That when a man transitions, he grows a vagina and uterus, and starts having periods.

That if a girl transitions, has 'top surgery ' radical bilateral mastectomy, and she changes her mind, she can just take 'titty skittles' (female sex hormones) to make them grow again.

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:19

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 18:36

I mean I wonder why some posters on here don't want an investigation in to what is going on?

A very wise ex senior civil servant explained to me that when an investigation or an enquiry is announced the aim is to kick the issue into the long grass for as long as possible so as not to have to do anything about it, or make any decisions on it.

Hobbi · 08/03/2023 19:21

@Lockheart

In a former life I read/evaluated this kind of 'study' for a living. This has the whiff of pseudo-research about it, but I'll give it a chance. I'll try not to be influenced by their anti-abortion and anti same sex marriage stance and by their arguments against welfare support for families. And their links to gay conversion therapy. Ooh, I'll also try to not think, contrary to some PP's claims, that this isn't the thin edge of the wedge for an attack on sex education in schools.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 19:21

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:19

A very wise ex senior civil servant explained to me that when an investigation or an enquiry is announced the aim is to kick the issue into the long grass for as long as possible so as not to have to do anything about it, or make any decisions on it.

Well I hope that in this case there is an urgent investigation. Children should not be taught things that are not scientific or real and should not be taught about kink and queer theory in school.

Parents with children in school if this concerns you ask for information about what is being taught and by whom and take it up with your MP.

Eyerollcentral · 08/03/2023 19:23

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:19

A very wise ex senior civil servant explained to me that when an investigation or an enquiry is announced the aim is to kick the issue into the long grass for as long as possible so as not to have to do anything about it, or make any decisions on it.

It can be the reason. It’s not always the reason. Surely everyone knows that? Not all inquiries take forever, usually just the ones where the government knows they’ll be in the sh*t with the outcome.

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:24

Eyerollcentral · 08/03/2023 18:52

Of course they are? You can consent to sex and it’s not actually pleasurable, I’m sure most people have had that experience at least once in their lives!
‘but they should teach that pleasure is the absolute fundamental basis of consent.’ No, the fundamental basis of consent is that the person knows what they are going to do and wants to do it.

If that is the basis of consent, then everyone would need education on what they were consenting to, we'd all best make sure that happens.

Endofmytether2020 · 08/03/2023 19:29

FourTeaFallOut · 08/03/2023 12:28

In the Guardian live notes;

Miriam Cates (Con) says sex education at school can include graphic descriptions of oral sex. Sex education is not age appropriate. Will the government carry out a review?

Sunak says he has asked the Department for Education to ensure that children are not getting information that is not age-appropriate.

Haven't read the full thread but I've seen this issue being whipped up in a disgusting manner by right wing commentators on Twitter.

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:29

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 19:21

Well I hope that in this case there is an urgent investigation. Children should not be taught things that are not scientific or real and should not be taught about kink and queer theory in school.

Parents with children in school if this concerns you ask for information about what is being taught and by whom and take it up with your MP.

Sounds like a strong argument for not teaching about god.
Does it also apply to parents, Santa could be in trouble.

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:30

Eyerollcentral · 08/03/2023 19:23

It can be the reason. It’s not always the reason. Surely everyone knows that? Not all inquiries take forever, usually just the ones where the government knows they’ll be in the sh*t with the outcome.

Given the same government has been in charge for 13 years, I doubt they would really want the results of any investigation to be too rapid as unless everything is wonderful it is not going to reflect well on them.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 19:32

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:29

Sounds like a strong argument for not teaching about god.
Does it also apply to parents, Santa could be in trouble.

How ridiculous!

Parents have a CHOICE whether to send children to a faith school and whether to teach children about faith.

They also have a choice about Santa.

Children being taught about gender as though it is fact, kink and Queer theory in school are being taught without parental consent.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 19:33

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:30

Given the same government has been in charge for 13 years, I doubt they would really want the results of any investigation to be too rapid as unless everything is wonderful it is not going to reflect well on them.

It isn't great for them that this has happened under their watch but they are prepared to address it and not embed Gender Theory unlike the labour party whose leader doesn't know what a woman is.

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:35

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 19:32

How ridiculous!

Parents have a CHOICE whether to send children to a faith school and whether to teach children about faith.

They also have a choice about Santa.

Children being taught about gender as though it is fact, kink and Queer theory in school are being taught without parental consent.

Each school in the UK is required by law to have a daily act of communal worship of a broadly Christian nature. How many people actually opt out? Presumably everyone who thinks that all that should be taught should have a scientific basis and be real.

BCBird · 08/03/2023 19:35

I know there are sime of my colleagues who have refused to deliver certain content. Whenever I talk about something I always point out that most relationships are not abusive. Sad place to start if we presume all are. I do believe there is sime age inappropriate content.

Treehappy · 08/03/2023 19:36

Eyerollcentral · 08/03/2023 18:52

Of course they are? You can consent to sex and it’s not actually pleasurable, I’m sure most people have had that experience at least once in their lives!
‘but they should teach that pleasure is the absolute fundamental basis of consent.’ No, the fundamental basis of consent is that the person knows what they are going to do and wants to do it.

The problem with teaching that all you need is to get your partner, and I particularly mean girls and women, to say yes, or at least not to say no, is that still leads to coerced sex and women and girls having sex they don’t want to have. But the guy can tell himself it’s ok as she said yes, or didn’t say no. A reluctant, hesitant or pressurized yes should not be taken as consent.

A good partner is attuned to his partner during sex, can tell if she is not into it, and stops.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 19:36

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:35

Each school in the UK is required by law to have a daily act of communal worship of a broadly Christian nature. How many people actually opt out? Presumably everyone who thinks that all that should be taught should have a scientific basis and be real.

As far as I can tell having a christian belief doesn't lead to children wanting to mutilate their bodies and go on cross sex hormones.

FourTeaFallOut · 08/03/2023 19:36

I'm an atheist. If my kids were being taught theology as fact by an outside group with unfettered and unaccountable access in school, I'd hit the fucking roof.

Eyerollcentral · 08/03/2023 19:36

jgw1 · 08/03/2023 19:30

Given the same government has been in charge for 13 years, I doubt they would really want the results of any investigation to be too rapid as unless everything is wonderful it is not going to reflect well on them.

Quite easy for Sunak actually, his line wld probs be I’ve only been in since the autumn, I’ve discovered all other areas of the gov bar the treasury were a shambles before that, please re-elect this government that is turning things around at the next election. I’d be highly surprised if this was put on the long finger.

lifeturnsonadime · 08/03/2023 19:38

Eyerollcentral · 08/03/2023 19:36

Quite easy for Sunak actually, his line wld probs be I’ve only been in since the autumn, I’ve discovered all other areas of the gov bar the treasury were a shambles before that, please re-elect this government that is turning things around at the next election. I’d be highly surprised if this was put on the long finger.

Good point, unlike Starmer he seems to be able to see which way the wind is blowing.

I feel so let down by the Labour Party.

Eyerollcentral · 08/03/2023 19:39

Treehappy · 08/03/2023 19:36

The problem with teaching that all you need is to get your partner, and I particularly mean girls and women, to say yes, or at least not to say no, is that still leads to coerced sex and women and girls having sex they don’t want to have. But the guy can tell himself it’s ok as she said yes, or didn’t say no. A reluctant, hesitant or pressurized yes should not be taken as consent.

A good partner is attuned to his partner during sex, can tell if she is not into it, and stops.

That’s about consent though, enthusiastic consent at that combined with knowledge about what makes a healthy relationship. Talking to teens about pleasure with regard to sex is crossing a line.

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