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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did I just hear Sunak promise to investigate inappropriate and unsafe sex education in school?

605 replies

Nimbostratus100 · 08/03/2023 12:20

Did I just hear Sunak promise to investigate inappropriate and unsafe sex education in school?

I don't really listen to priminister questions, but I was just channel hopping waiting for the kettle to boil

So IABU to dance a little dance?

YABU - no you misheard, he didn't say that/ he said it but it is meaningless

YANBU - yes you heard it, yes it means something, dance away

OP posts:
RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:00

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 11:55

There is already safeguarding in schools. Speak to your headteacher if you’re concerned. Of course there will be mistakes made - but do you think that every child is at risk?

I do not.

Funnily enough, if you mention anything LGBTQ, many concepts of safeguarding go straight out of window.

Or do you not view allowing boys to use girls changing rooms or a girl sleeping in a boys dorm on a residential trip or teachers encouraging students to keep secrets from their parents or schools socially transitioning children without their parents knowledge (all reported by parents on this very forum and to Miriam Cates) as not a safeguarding issue?

I repeat, this is not just one school. This is many schools.

MeinKraft · 09/03/2023 12:01

lazycats · 08/03/2023 12:31

Won’t someone please think of the children! etc

Stupid, lazy response to valid safeguarding concerns.

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:01

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 11:56

Sledgehammers and nuts come to mind.

Seriously? How many kids should be taught harmful lessons on porn, strangling, anal sex etc before you think it important enough to do something about?

How many instances of this do you think there actually are?

Porn is out there. The kids will see it…. Would you rather they were talking about it in the playground with their friends in secondary school, with no adult to step in? Clips doing the rounds on WhatsApp etc?

My preference is for much stronger controls on porn overall not a distraction over anecdotes.

MarshaBradyo · 09/03/2023 12:02

MeinKraft · 09/03/2023 12:01

Stupid, lazy response to valid safeguarding concerns.

I think they’re trying to be goady. Pointless though

Rainbowshit · 09/03/2023 12:02

Then the government should issue clear guidance….. sort it that way. It wouldn’t take long to do

That would be very welcome. It's not the full issue though.

You don't find it concerning that schools are potentially allowing external providers access to children and showing them inappropriate content without prior vetting though?

You think that should just be allowed to be brushed under the carpet?

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:03

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:00

Funnily enough, if you mention anything LGBTQ, many concepts of safeguarding go straight out of window.

Or do you not view allowing boys to use girls changing rooms or a girl sleeping in a boys dorm on a residential trip or teachers encouraging students to keep secrets from their parents or schools socially transitioning children without their parents knowledge (all reported by parents on this very forum and to Miriam Cates) as not a safeguarding issue?

I repeat, this is not just one school. This is many schools.

what has that got to do with RSE?

MarshaBradyo · 09/03/2023 12:03

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 11:58

Why are you being obtuse?

Parents should be responsible and should be given the tools to actually manage it. If you think that controls on phones and the current filters etc are enough, then you’re not doing your job properly.

I have explored this a lot and know they’re inadequate.

I’ve asked for a report. I’m just saying that this report quoted is biased and looking for the very worst, rather than a sensible look at the issue.

The government could quickly issue guidance on the matter, but why do that?

Why not be informed?

Whats wrong with that. I don’t get why anyone would object.

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:04

Why do you think all civil servants are one and the same? Do you know any civil servants? That sort of view just makes me roll my eyes

You clearly missed the controversy over the Stonewall type guidance dictated into the entire Civil Service? Wrongthink is firmly discouraged. It would take a brave Civil Servant (maybe knew about to retire) to go against the enforced thinking on this.

You can roll your eyes all you like, it doesn’t change what is happening.

Hobbi · 09/03/2023 12:04

WiIson · 09/03/2023 11:57

I also don’t get the objection to the report. Why would anyone not want to know what’s going on

A good question. And really, there's only one logical answer to that.

What's the logical answer?
I would like these claims to be investigated and verified as soon as possible. I don't want a Christian fundamentalist organisation, believing marriage should only be for procreation, opposed to abortion and against same sex marriage given a privileged position on SRE in schools. I don't see why anyone would want sex education policy determined by a group with links to the Christian right in the UK and USA - perhaps there's only one logical answer?

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:05

Rainbowshit · 09/03/2023 12:02

Then the government should issue clear guidance….. sort it that way. It wouldn’t take long to do

That would be very welcome. It's not the full issue though.

You don't find it concerning that schools are potentially allowing external providers access to children and showing them inappropriate content without prior vetting though?

You think that should just be allowed to be brushed under the carpet?

Potentially?

If schools aren’t following existing safeguarding practices then there are channels for dealing with that already.

my view is that we need to be careful not to conclude that every child is seeing this. Because I genuinely don’t think that they are.

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:05

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:04

Why do you think all civil servants are one and the same? Do you know any civil servants? That sort of view just makes me roll my eyes

You clearly missed the controversy over the Stonewall type guidance dictated into the entire Civil Service? Wrongthink is firmly discouraged. It would take a brave Civil Servant (maybe knew about to retire) to go against the enforced thinking on this.

You can roll your eyes all you like, it doesn’t change what is happening.

Hahahaha I know many civil servants and you’re talking nonsense about enforced thinking.

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:06

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:01

How many instances of this do you think there actually are?

Porn is out there. The kids will see it…. Would you rather they were talking about it in the playground with their friends in secondary school, with no adult to step in? Clips doing the rounds on WhatsApp etc?

My preference is for much stronger controls on porn overall not a distraction over anecdotes.

So because some kids have had a parental fail and seen porn we should expose them all to it en masse?

That seems like a totally inappropriate reaction.

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:06

Hobbi · 09/03/2023 12:04

What's the logical answer?
I would like these claims to be investigated and verified as soon as possible. I don't want a Christian fundamentalist organisation, believing marriage should only be for procreation, opposed to abortion and against same sex marriage given a privileged position on SRE in schools. I don't see why anyone would want sex education policy determined by a group with links to the Christian right in the UK and USA - perhaps there's only one logical answer?

Yes, they should be investigated individually- I just feel like all sorts of conclusions are being jumped to about some widespread conspiracy to indoctrinate children.

Rainbowshit · 09/03/2023 12:07

It's quite clearly NOT being dealt with under existing safeguarding channels though.

Parents asking to see the material being taught to their children are being fobbed off.

What are you so keen to avoid an investigation to determine the extent of this issue? 🚩

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:07

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:06

So because some kids have had a parental fail and seen porn we should expose them all to it en masse?

That seems like a totally inappropriate reaction.

You think children are being shown porn by teachers in class?

Wow.

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:07

Rainbowshit · 09/03/2023 12:07

It's quite clearly NOT being dealt with under existing safeguarding channels though.

Parents asking to see the material being taught to their children are being fobbed off.

What are you so keen to avoid an investigation to determine the extent of this issue? 🚩

I’m saying prove it first.

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:09

my view is that we need to be careful not to conclude that every child is seeing this. Because I genuinely don’t think that they are.

Who said that every child is seeing this? There have been some people Very Keen to point out that their kids are not. That is not the issue. Some kids are seeing this and it is unacceptable.

Why are you so invested in the idea of making sure some kids are seeing such inappropriate materials at school? Or do you think that it is ok to try and ensure that NO kids do?

FourTeaFallOut · 09/03/2023 12:10

Rainbowshit · 09/03/2023 11:50

I'm baffled that people are opposing an investigation into this?

We're talking about child safeguarding here.

Surely we err on the side of caution here?

If you're right then all is well and good apart from a bit of time and money wasted If you're wrong then children are being harmed.

I'll take the chance of wasting a bit of time and money thanks.

Quite. It seems that any argument for and against change is improved with better recording and improved transparency. Objecting to better data in the public domain is a rather suspect position.

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:10

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:07

You think children are being shown porn by teachers in class?

Wow.

Porn is out there. The kids will see it…. Would you rather they were talking about it in the playground with their friends in secondary school, with no adult to step in? Clips doing the rounds on WhatsApp etc?

Your words.

MarshaBradyo · 09/03/2023 12:12

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:07

I’m saying prove it first.

Isn’t that the point of looking, to see what’s there, eg prove it

Where is your reluctance coming from? Is it a non GC or political allegiance thing or other

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:14

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:09

my view is that we need to be careful not to conclude that every child is seeing this. Because I genuinely don’t think that they are.

Who said that every child is seeing this? There have been some people Very Keen to point out that their kids are not. That is not the issue. Some kids are seeing this and it is unacceptable.

Why are you so invested in the idea of making sure some kids are seeing such inappropriate materials at school? Or do you think that it is ok to try and ensure that NO kids do?

Why are you so invested in the idea of making sure some kids are seeing such inappropriate materials at school? Or do you think that it is ok to try and ensure that NO kids do?

Why do you lie?

I’ve just skimmed that report and one example it gives of children drawing examples of “dick pics”. Which is pretty shocking. Then it turns out they were drawing pictures of things that they had already been sent. Where’s the outrage at the fact that these kids have been sent pornographic material, unsolicited and there is no mechanism to stop them receiving said materials?

So what is happening in that instance is children are being given a space to report and discuss what they have been exposed to on social media. Nothing is being done to tackle that problem.

We need to tackle the problem of porn and it’s harmful effects and we need to talk to our children about it. They’re seeing it whether we like it or not and it breaks my heart and makes me angry.

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:14

RichardBarrister · 09/03/2023 12:10

Porn is out there. The kids will see it…. Would you rather they were talking about it in the playground with their friends in secondary school, with no adult to step in? Clips doing the rounds on WhatsApp etc?

Your words.

Again, why be obtuse?

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:15

You don’t want to tackle the fact that children are seeing porn and nothing is being done to stop it. do you @RichardBarrister

Rainbowshit · 09/03/2023 12:16

Believeitornot · 09/03/2023 12:15

You don’t want to tackle the fact that children are seeing porn and nothing is being done to stop it. do you @RichardBarrister

Now you've completely lost the plot. 🙈

TeenDivided · 09/03/2023 12:17

I think there probably needs to be a core RSE curriculum which states what is and is not to be taught in each keystage.

Focused around biology and boundaries and emotion and respect and consent.

OK maybe in the oldest years covering non vanilla practices but in a 'some people choose to do this, it is more frequent in porn, it is not standard, don't pressure or be pressured' way.