To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Yes yes yes! Haven't read the thread but it's my absolute fucking most annoying thing. Fuck off with it

I agree there should be no titles, including gender-revealing ones. Just M. Smith or M. Jones if necessary.
However, some married women, particularly the older generation, believe it's some kind of status symbol to be "Mrs". So I don't think this will be going away any time soon.

I got married pretty young, back when I thought Ms was for divorced women - 25 years on I obviously know better but I have been using Mrs for such a long time now and it's what is on all my official documents. I do use Ms for things where I can now.

I'd happily use a title that didn't highlight my sex too but I have not looked into the context of Mx in any great detail, maybe I should.

Not really because you can use Miss if you are married

So do I but often you can't leave it blank

I used to use Miss but I now use Ms. It irritates me disclosing my marital status.

I am however doing a PhD, and once I get it I’ll be Dr. Own what you’ve earned.

Yes, so do I. I’ve used Ms since I was a teenager and continue to be Ms now I’m married.

That's quite silly.

Marriage provides legal and financial rights that can't be obtained without marriage. Even in the brief period since we've had straight CP, marriage still offers better global recognition. There's no sense in a woman who wants and needs these rights to avoid the institution that offers them, purely because of an optional surname practice that some societies have associated with the ancient practice of marriage in the fairly recent past.

I actually do use Ms (married for 7 years) and we double barrelled (both of us, although without the hyphen so probably the wrong term).

My DD is 2 and I always list her title as Ms too.

I use it for financial identification. Hospitals usually want to pay into an account with the same name as the person they employed. Therefore it is on all my bank cards so much easier for online purchases etc to all match. I don't use it socially the schools know me as Mrs Married name as does our own GP and the passport office. Most married female Dr's are similar. Mrs Madien name is my mother, I ceased to be Miss Maiden name over 20 years ago so would be weird to use that now.

I just use these randomly. I've had deliveries to Rev. Mr etc. no one cares.

I always use Ms. Have done since I was a child. Both single and now I am married. Completely normal to use Ms. I think Mrs or Miss are very odd. But I think all titles are pointless.

I have used Ms since I was 14 and refute the ‘miss with issues’ thing if the connection with divorced.

It is just a title for an adult female.

I would be happy for everyone, men and women, to be Citizen Surname, but if men keep Mr, I’ll have Ms.

‘Or’ the connection with divorce

Just use Ms. The issues are yours.

She didn't need to ask. That's what Ms is for.

I've been Ms since I was 18yo after I spent two minutes thinking about how best to tackle the Miss/Mrs/Ms rigmarole. So I have been Ms when I was single and since I married (kept my surname) and will remain so whatever else comes my way. I couldn't give a fuck what other people think I'm signposting, I'm not interested.

My own DDs have been Ms since they were born.

I don't think it gives any real information. Child could be a sister, niece, depending on age gap, grandchild. You could have been with a partner for years but not married.

I've been quoted several times about my Dr comparison.

I'm not against people using Dr in a non-professional context. I think they've earned it.

My question was in relation to op's why do we have titles to show that because titles say something about the person which they might want known for certain reasons such as hey don't mess with me i'm married, i'm open to dating I'm a miss or I know what I'm talking about and intelligent, I'm a Dr so don't you patronise me. It's the same point, you because it's part of your identity and gives an indication about your social, marital or educational status. It's put you somewhere on the hierarchy of the pecking order. People judge and like to pigeon hole and figure out others and that's one way of doing it.

The point is that men doesn't have to declare any of this bullshit

Agreed. Same here. I don't understand how that means I have issues.

I use Ms, and did before I was married as well. I don't really care if someone thinks I'm either divorced, or unmarried and bitter about it, or whatever the stereotype is.

I'm not sure I've ever actually been asked in person, I think I've only ever filled it in on a form.

i leave blank where possible, Mx where possible. And if the only options are Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms (and i am grateful for the small mercy of Ms) especially if in person like OP i tick Mr. Or Lord, Lady, Sir if other options. I have been Professor in the past.

Some people like it, some people don't, so if the option to leave blank were more widespread, it would help.

I completed a form the other day and it asked how i would prefer to be addressed in correspondence, and there were various choices including "Dear Firstname" and "Dear Firstname Lastname" alongside the Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss/Dr.

This is what 'Ms' was supposed to be for. The equivalent of 'Mr'. No connection with divorce at all - except for people who aren't very well-informed.