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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Newport Car Crash

127 replies

RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 19:01

I am very saddened to read of the death of three friends from Newport, and of the horror of the other two sitting in the car next to their dead friends for two days and nights.

I'm not sure why the police were unable to act faster - surely there is a window for life with a missing person, and the faster they are found, after going missing for whatever reason, the better.

The police suggested to one of the mums that they would turn up with hangovers. All five of them? Really?

I seem to remember things being better than this in the past, but perhaps it varies by force. But why should that be? I saw a thread on here over the weekend about this, before they were found and some posters suggested a car accident. It would have been so easy to send some patrols out on likely routes. I can't help but think that they might all have survived if found faster. 46 hours is just hellish to wait.

So I wanted to ask as many of you who would want to, to get one of the free family tracking apps on your phone. I have life 360 and when I broke down at night in the snow in the middle of nowhere, with two babies in the back, and I called the police, they were very uninterested. My parents found me on the app and were there within an hour, and they would have done so if i was unconscious. After 46 hours my phone would have run out of charge, but if those young people had had something like this, who knows, it may have turned out differently.

I guess my aibu is to ask if aibu to think it could save lives to use such an app. It's free and obviously there is no benefit to me, it's not my app.

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 06/03/2023 20:30

It’s dreadful news
Tracker apps are super if used appropriately. However they have scope to be used to monitor and intrude. Depends who is using it and why

PleasedontRN · 06/03/2023 20:31

As a close personal friend to one of the families involved, please leave this alone right now.

Original poster
RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:32

And whilst I am not criticising the police , their funds are limited, I am telling my own story so that people can be aware that if they break down at night, with small children, the police won't be able to help. That's not a criticism, it's information so that other people can put together a back up plan, whether that be break down cover or a tracking app, or whatever.

OP posts:
Nimbostratus100 · 06/03/2023 20:32

It happens, if a car roles out of sight in an accident, sometimes it isn't found for a long time, particularly if it is the only car involved.

In first aid training it is one of the things we are told to do at the scene of an accident, is check for cars that have rolled out of sight

But if it is not the known scene of an accident, then it has in the past sometimes been weeks/months/years before a car is found

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 06/03/2023 20:32

SunshineGeorgie · 06/03/2023 20:18

Telling someone there is no need to keep calling, we will let you know of any developments does NOT mean the police deserve criticism!

Exactly. They can't keep answering calls to say the same thing.

bhiffandcip · 06/03/2023 20:34

@RedEyeBaby I understand what you're saying. I have break down cover. But I feel in an accident situation - given DD's experience - that a tracking app wouldn't necessarily be any use.

IWineAndDontDine · 06/03/2023 20:36

You are upset the police didn't give a shit when you broke down? They were probably about as interested as your electrician is about your unusual rash. They aren't jack of all bloody trades.

sparkypupp · 06/03/2023 20:39

Unless I broke down in a live lane it would be my breakdown cover I'd be contacting, not the police.

Whyisitsososohard · 06/03/2023 20:39

I'm really not a fan of the police. But honestly your post makes very little sense. I feel like you've just reacted to something upsetting without actually logically thinking about the practicalities of this.

How could the police find a car crashed and out of sight tajat they didn't know they were looking for?

Withnailandeye · 06/03/2023 20:40

What does life360 do that FMF doesn’t? Presumably a paid for app so I’m interested.

I think any criticism of the police at this stage is unjustified- they’ve referred themselves to investigation have they not?

Original poster
RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:41

IWineAndDontDine · 06/03/2023 20:36

You are upset the police didn't give a shit when you broke down? They were probably about as interested as your electrician is about your unusual rash. They aren't jack of all bloody trades.

I think you're being unnecessarily rude, but to answer your question, I was not upset, but I thought they might be able to help me or give some advice, given I was alone with two babies. I will know better in future.

Thank you for the tip about the electrician. You've saved me a call.

OP posts:
LuluBlakey1 · 06/03/2023 20:42

I don't know if anyone remembers the first series of 'Missing' where the police search for missing people. A woman in Darlington area reported her husband had left her at a party- driven off in his car- and had not been seen since. After picking through the story and sending up helicopter, officers on foot, officers driving, looking at ANPR to try to track the route he took, interviewing witnesses at the party, he was discovered days later in the middle of a tree and shrub covered roundabout on a busy road. He was dead, had been drinking and crashed the car. There was no sign at all that the car was there, had gone off the road, it couldn't be seen from the air.

The wife's story turned out to be half-truths which took a while to unpick and some of the witnesses did not want yo tell the truth at first and witheld info from the police but there had been a row, it turned out he was drinking and buying drugs and owed money, had been drinking that night. It was all very sad.

Point is : we have no idea what the factors are in play in this current case, there may be alcohol/drugs involved in the accident or there may not be. We don't know why they made the choices they did on Friday night or how the accident happened, if they were wearing seat belts, if they died instantly. We don't know what the backgrounds of the individuals are and whether there is past history that might suggest a direction for the police to investigate- the police will know of ny orevious incidents and blood tests will have bern taken from all of them. It's none of our business and we should just let the police get on with it, leave the families along and not speculate. The details will be published in the inquests.

Whatever has happened there are three families grieving and two very worried.

We seem to have learned nothing from the Nicola Bulley case .

Original poster
RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:42

sparkypupp · 06/03/2023 20:39

Unless I broke down in a live lane it would be my breakdown cover I'd be contacting, not the police.

I did break down in a live lane. It was an A road and 10pm so not much traffic.

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 06/03/2023 20:42

we had a case in Scotland a few years ago where they really struggled to find a women in a car and she was actually on the phone to the control centre. They had to send mountain rescue in at various points along the glen because there was no sign of a car having left the road. It is tragic, but we will never stop incidents like this happening and it isn't the fault of the police.

SunshineGeorgie · 06/03/2023 20:42

RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:32

And whilst I am not criticising the police , their funds are limited, I am telling my own story so that people can be aware that if they break down at night, with small children, the police won't be able to help. That's not a criticism, it's information so that other people can put together a back up plan, whether that be break down cover or a tracking app, or whatever.

Would the police be your first port of call though?

Nicknacky · 06/03/2023 20:42

RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:41

I think you're being unnecessarily rude, but to answer your question, I was not upset, but I thought they might be able to help me or give some advice, given I was alone with two babies. I will know better in future.

Thank you for the tip about the electrician. You've saved me a call.

Show quote history

What help or advice were you looking for, especially when your parents were able to get to you?

Original poster
RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:42

Withnailandeye · 06/03/2023 20:40

What does life360 do that FMF doesn’t? Presumably a paid for app so I’m interested.

I think any criticism of the police at this stage is unjustified- they’ve referred themselves to investigation have they not?

I'm not sure that find my phone works on android? I might be wrong.

OP posts:
Edinvillian · 06/03/2023 20:43

My daughter said the same thing when I told her about the accident tonight, if they'd have Life360 they'd have been found sooner. A couple of years ago her drink was spiked in a nightclub and the only way her friends knew where she was (in hospital) was because they all track each other on it.
I've now got the app with both my kids, my parents and sister.
It's such a sad thing to have happened. My heart goes out to all their parents.

BelindaBears · 06/03/2023 20:44

It’s a tragic case. I don’t know enough to comment on the police’s action or inaction.

I won’t be getting the app OP is advertising though, I’m not signing up to be tracked more than I already am. Neither do I want to tag DH. DD is 5 so never without appropriate caregivers or teachers.

Original poster
RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:44

Nicknacky · 06/03/2023 20:42

What help or advice were you looking for, especially when your parents were able to get to you?

Show quote history

The fact that I was on the road and potentially causing a hazard to others. They say to get out of the car but I had two very small children and it was snowing. I didn't know what to do.

OP posts:
IWineAndDontDine · 06/03/2023 20:44

RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:41

I think you're being unnecessarily rude, but to answer your question, I was not upset, but I thought they might be able to help me or give some advice, given I was alone with two babies. I will know better in future.

Thank you for the tip about the electrician. You've saved me a call.

Show quote history

This is the second police bashing thread I've seen today, that's why I may have seemed irate. You say it's not, but it clearly is despite backtracking when everyone jumped on you. It hits close to home when half your family is the police and you understand the incredibly high standards everyone holds them too whilst also giving them approximately zero respect

gonnabeok · 06/03/2023 20:45

I've seen photos on local press of the area of the crash. It literally is just metres from the main road but there are several very tall and bushy fir trees on that section of the roadside. I can see why the car wasn't easily spotted after hitting the trees.

category12 · 06/03/2023 20:45

RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:44

The fact that I was on the road and potentially causing a hazard to others. They say to get out of the car but I had two very small children and it was snowing. I didn't know what to do.

Show quote history

Call a breakdown service! 🙄

Nicknacky · 06/03/2023 20:45

RedEyeBaby · 06/03/2023 20:44

The fact that I was on the road and potentially causing a hazard to others. They say to get out of the car but I had two very small children and it was snowing. I didn't know what to do.

Show quote history

Cross post with you saying you were on an A road.

Suzi888 · 06/03/2023 20:46

The car wasn’t visible from the road, it had crashed into a small concentration of trees.

From the police point of view I guess it looked like a group of young people had gone off to a party /similar and could’ve been passed out on a couch somewhere. Resources are limited.

It is very tragic, it’s awful they were trapped in a car, in the cold and suffering with serious injuries/dying. I hope that the two survivors pull through and that the ones who have lost their lives, didn’t know what had happened to them and didn’t suffer.

“Why people on this site have to be so aggressive, I have no idea.”
It makes them feel good to rip the shit out of every single post, rather than being an adult and scrolling on. So boring. 🐍