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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start this slightly immature thread?

37 replies

Oarty · 06/03/2023 10:58

Ok - I know IABU and also know I need to get a life ... but ... last night I I discovered had my first definite Facebook unfriending in nearly 3 years and first one ever on my new fb account! I know I'm acting about 12, but admit it - it stings a little / j don't do controversial posts !

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Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 10:59

Sorry for slightly weird typos should read

I don't do controversial posts!

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2023a · 06/03/2023 11:06

Why do you care?

TippityTappingLikeAWaterboatman · 06/03/2023 11:17

Maybe they're just not interested in your posts? Are they a close friend?

CrispAppleStrudels · 06/03/2023 11:18

Why do you think you were unfriended? I occasionally go through and do big culls of my friend lists as im not interested in people im not really in touch with being able to see photos of my family. So i recently took a load of people from uni off there as realistically im never going to see these people again. It might just be something as simple as that?

KimberleyClark · 06/03/2023 11:18

How do you find out if you’ve been unfriended?

Conkersinautumn · 06/03/2023 11:20

Are you sure they've not just left FB? Or chosen to just reduce it to family only? A few friends are currently doing this.

Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 15:55

2023a · 06/03/2023 11:06

Why do you care?

Yes - I shouldn't really it's not as if she's a close friend

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Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 15:56

TippityTappingLikeAWaterboatman · 06/03/2023 11:17

Maybe they're just not interested in your posts? Are they a close friend?

No not a close friend and tbh I only post rarely so don't blame them. It's not a particularly 'good' fb account

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Spraylatter · 06/03/2023 15:58

I delete people all the time, if you don’t have my phone number then they aren’t your friend. I don’t want the occasional picture of my family shared with people I hardly know. I have a rule I try to keep my Facebook below 100, most are family but a few real life friends.

Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:04

CrispAppleStrudels · 06/03/2023 11:18

Why do you think you were unfriended? I occasionally go through and do big culls of my friend lists as im not interested in people im not really in touch with being able to see photos of my family. So i recently took a load of people from uni off there as realistically im never going to see these people again. It might just be something as simple as that?

Yes I think it is as simple as that tbh - she's from school - but not a close friend. When I had my previous fb account - back around 2010/11/12 - it was a much 'better' account with loads of pics on there etc. This one is an inferior account compared to that one. After seeming to like and comment in a friendly way in quite a few of my posts - she unfriended me just after Xmas 2010 after being friends with me for about 6 months of so - I was a bit surprised as we hadn't fallen out or anything. I started a brand new account towards the end of 2020 and added her - I honestly think she unfriended me for pretty much the same reasons she did in 2010 - likely reason is she feels there's not enough of a connection which is absolutely fair enough

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Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:07

KimberleyClark · 06/03/2023 11:18

How do you find out if you’ve been unfriended?

On this occasion jig just occurred to me that I'd not seen her post fur ages. I then went onto an account of someone else she'd been friends with and she was still friends with her - and when I clicked on her profile it had 'add friend' which suggested she wasn't a friend

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Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:07

It ** had - sorry for typos

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Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:08

KimberleyClark · 06/03/2023 11:18

How do you find out if you’ve been unfriended?

I also looked on my number of friends and it was one less than usual

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2023a · 06/03/2023 16:09

Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:04

Yes I think it is as simple as that tbh - she's from school - but not a close friend. When I had my previous fb account - back around 2010/11/12 - it was a much 'better' account with loads of pics on there etc. This one is an inferior account compared to that one. After seeming to like and comment in a friendly way in quite a few of my posts - she unfriended me just after Xmas 2010 after being friends with me for about 6 months of so - I was a bit surprised as we hadn't fallen out or anything. I started a brand new account towards the end of 2020 and added her - I honestly think she unfriended me for pretty much the same reasons she did in 2010 - likely reason is she feels there's not enough of a connection which is absolutely fair enough

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The fact that you remember the timescales of FB friendship/unfriending 10 years later is a bit unusual. I think you might be somewhat over-invested?

Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:10

Conkersinautumn · 06/03/2023 11:20

Are you sure they've not just left FB? Or chosen to just reduce it to family only? A few friends are currently doing this.

No she's not left fb as I checked in the account of someone who'd been a mutual friend of ours she's still on out mutual friend's list but she's much closer to our mutual friend to be fair

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2023a · 06/03/2023 16:10

Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:08

I also looked on my number of friends and it was one less than usual

Show quote history

You know the exact number of FB friends you have?

Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:10

Spraylatter · 06/03/2023 15:58

I delete people all the time, if you don’t have my phone number then they aren’t your friend. I don’t want the occasional picture of my family shared with people I hardly know. I have a rule I try to keep my Facebook below 100, most are family but a few real life friends.

This is a good policy

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Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:12

@2023a** I fully admit I'm a bit 'random' for remembering certain dates etc Grin

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Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:14

@2023a - tbh my account is much smaller than average - 30 friends only. This contrasts with around 175 on my 2010 account !

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Pseudonamed · 06/03/2023 16:14

2023a · 06/03/2023 16:10

You know the exact number of FB friends you have?

Show quote history

You don't? I only have people I actually know on mine so I know the exact amount.

TippityTappingLikeAWaterboatman · 06/03/2023 16:17

I don't do Facebook, I just have a no friends account so I can join groups but everyone uses it differently. Some people will keep everyone for the friend count and mute many of them, others will unfriend if there's no interaction or they don't want people they barely know seeing their stuff anymore.
As you don't post a lot of stuff it's unlikely to be because they don't like you, if that makes you feel any better.

CandleInTheStorm · 06/03/2023 16:17

I unfriended everyone last year so have zero friends as I've now decided to just use FB for certain local groups I follow and marketplace. Maybe that's what they've done? I did change my pic to flower though so it's not obvious it's me if anyone searches.

ShandaLear · 06/03/2023 16:17

I quite often delete people who never post or only post work/MLM stuff. I like to think of it as a sort of community and if you’re not contributing then why should I be your entertainment? Go on Twitter if you just want to lurk.

Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:32

ShandaLear · 06/03/2023 16:17

I quite often delete people who never post or only post work/MLM stuff. I like to think of it as a sort of community and if you’re not contributing then why should I be your entertainment? Go on Twitter if you just want to lurk.

Good call actually

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Original poster
Oarty · 06/03/2023 16:34

CandleInTheStorm · 06/03/2023 16:17

I unfriended everyone last year so have zero friends as I've now decided to just use FB for certain local groups I follow and marketplace. Maybe that's what they've done? I did change my pic to flower though so it's not obvious it's me if anyone searches.

No they've not done this as they're still friends with a mutual we both had .

My fb is not that entertaining tbh / infrequent posts or photos, profile pic is an object as well so not me etc

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