Teams calls in cafe and toddler

[Swiftswatch]

I’m probably being unreasonable for posting here in the first place since there’s a bit of an anti kids in public sentiment here at times, but when did it become acceptable for people to think a coffee shop is the same as an office??
I was just having breakfast and a coffee with my toddler and someone was taking a teams call at a nearby table. If it’s relevant we were seated first.
Toddler was being good as gold imo, I get sometimes they can be too loud or badly behaved but they were just sat drinking their juice and having a little babble and sing, occasionally pointing out things they seen. “Cup! Cup!” Obviously louder than if I was just sat by myself but really not a disturbance and no louder than any other table of 2 chatting.

The man was sat sighing and rolling his eyes for about ten minutes until I just had to turn to him and say ‘sorry but this is actually a cafe not an office, if you’re in a meeting and need silence you’re in the wrong place’.
He did a big huff, picked up his laptop and walked off trying to find a new table but had to come back as it was too busy.

Now he’s sitting there giving me evil eyes.

AIBU to think I’m not in the wrong here?? I’m really not a confrontational person and normal wouldn’t speak up but a public cafe at breakfast time isn’t exactly the place to do a work meeting!
If people want to rave about working from home then go fucking work at home. People out in public don’t need to tiptoe around you because you want a change of scenery during the work day while you sit in meetings.

You were totally right.

and you were polite.

he was an ignorant with an inflated sense of importance.

bet the other people on the call were in kinks at the arse being called out and his petulent behaviour.

No, it's 2023. Taking a Teams call (or, as you have tried to aggrandise it to, "holding a meeting") in a cafe is perfectly OK, though you have to be prepared that other customers of the cafe may be toddlers, burbling "Cup! Cup!"

The only reason you would be unreasonable is if you didn't encourage dd to join in with a very long, loud, tuneless rendition of the wheels on the bus.
Maybe download a Thomas the tank engine book and read it to her, particularly focusing on the fat controller.

Running a Teams call in a cafe and expecting other patrons to be quiet is crazy.

To be honest 99% of times I wouldn’t but it was just extra annoying because we were not overly noisy this guys just expected utter silence which really wound me up. You’re out in public, fuck off if people chatting in a coffee shop is too much for you.
Probably sat there for hours over 1 coffee too.

You weren’t wrong OP. But a pp raises an interesting point about the world having changed. I’ve worked from home since March 2020 (can go into the office if I wish when there is space). During 2020 whilst in the hot summer lockdown my neighbour was due to give birth any day. A friend of hers who couldn’t speak at normal volume would frequently appear and speak to her from the pavement. I was on a Teams call one day, window open due to heat and my colleagues heard “fucking hell when I gave birth to Chloe my arse got ripped to shreds hahaha”. I think that’s just basic discourtesy though. No one needs to hear that

He should wear headphones and use flash cards to create sentences.

He is probably on some 'Menz' site now moaning and they are saying "What? she brought a toddler into a cafe? Should have left it in a creche!!"

You are correct in that the coffee shop is NOT an office. However I have gone to numerous cafe's over the years and I dont like the way groups of Mum's take over the whole place and often leave the place a disgrace. They have one coffee and stay for hours, bring their own food etc.

My DS worked in one over the summer and he said the toddler groups were by far the worst. Ocassionally as they were leaving one Mum would mumble 'sorry about the mess, you know how it is' but he dreaded having to clean up afterwards, food pushed into the sofas, rubbish left on the floor, at the table and on one ocasion he saw a women change her baby on the seat because she said she couldnt wait for the bathroom to be free.

Why is it rude to speak up though?

He was quite clearly huffing and puffing constantly at every little thing DC did for about 10 mins. Imo letting him know we are only acting in a normal way and won’t be sitting in silence for him isn’t rude 🤷‍♀️

Indeed. As I often used to say to my mother, just because I am disagreeing with you doesn't make me rude.

There is no reason the OP should have had to put up with being made to feel uncomfortable in the scenario.

How is this relevant to my post though? I was one person with one young child.
There was no ‘toddler group’ taking place so it’s bizarre for you to respond to my specific scenario with a rant about how mums & toddler groups are ‘by far the worst’.

Rolling your eyes and sighing to passive aggressively make a point at people around you is ostentatious, frankly.

It’s incredibly rude behaviour. People who do it should be ashamed of themselves.

This makes me laugh. If this was just about someone else being annoyed by your toddler making noise, you would have lots of posters saying they’re sick of kids making noise and disturbing them and you must have been letting your child be too noisy for people to comment. BUT, because people seem to hate others who don’t have to work in the office even more than they hate noisy kids, you’ll get people telling you that you’re completely right. 😬

In reality, kids make noise and people are allowed to work in cafes, including having teams calls, unless the cafe owners have an issue with it. Everyone just needs to be a bit more tolerant of other people’s noise imo.

That's if this even happened and it’s not another thread having a dig at those not having to do a traditional 9-5 in the office.

He's not in the wrong for being in the cafe. He in the wrong for being irritated by the fact that there is other people also in the cafe who are doing nothing wrong.
If he wants silence he can go home, or to his office or to a public library. He has options. He chose to be rude!

Oo good for you!!

YADNBU! And I say this as someone who works from home and goes to cafes for a change of scenery. I only go when I know I don't have any meetings. How idiotic to think the whole world revolves around you so much that people should be quiet in a public space. Duh!

Gawd, there was this whizz-kid type marketing guy doing a “presentation”
to a small group for some kind of Uk nationwide promotion in a Yeovil Costa! Toe-curling for all everyone else sipping their lattes/hot chocolates!

I would never have a work call in a public place. Are there not data and privacy risks?

Chippy by name, chippy by nature it seems.

You do know this is a site for mums?

nd everyone thinks their child isnt noisy. Toddlers are. Its what they do. I was on another thread about taking kids to fancy restaurants. There were a sizeable minority who thought it was absolutely fine and that their child would patiently wait until the adults had finished their 5 course tasting menu (at 9 at night).

Some people just think the world revolves around their child and how adorable they are when they wander around to another table at Gordon Ramsey's (yes it happened to me) and people using the cafe as a office also have unrealistic expectations.

When I am out during the day I expect noise from children, people working in cafe's etc. At night I expect no such thing if I am in a elegant restaurant.

I don’t really care about working in an office or working from home, but the fact is you can’t expect an office environment in a place like a busy cafe.
If you’re sat there doing laptop work it’s one thing but to be in a group meeting and expect near silence is taking it way too far imo.
I wouldn’t have an issue with anyone working in a cafe, but someone should expect normal cafe interactions in the background.

I am a Mum!!

Working in a cafe is one thing. Fine so long as you accept there will be normal people/child noise around you.

Doing phone calls/Teams meetings is quite another and is unacceptable unless it's a brief, informal call. For one thing, people talk much more loudly as they can't read facial expressions and to be heard over the background noise so it's much more intrusive than ordinary conversation.

I have an adult dc with SN, he would have been joining in!! That would soon see anyone off.

(And yes, I pick tables away from other people if I can - especially people on laptops - but obviously people might come after we are seated - and I shush him along with telling him its not appropriate but once he has a bee in his bonnet....)