Teams calls in cafe and toddler

[Swiftswatch]

I’m probably being unreasonable for posting here in the first place since there’s a bit of an anti kids in public sentiment here at times, but when did it become acceptable for people to think a coffee shop is the same as an office??
I was just having breakfast and a coffee with my toddler and someone was taking a teams call at a nearby table. If it’s relevant we were seated first.
Toddler was being good as gold imo, I get sometimes they can be too loud or badly behaved but they were just sat drinking their juice and having a little babble and sing, occasionally pointing out things they seen. “Cup! Cup!” Obviously louder than if I was just sat by myself but really not a disturbance and no louder than any other table of 2 chatting.

The man was sat sighing and rolling his eyes for about ten minutes until I just had to turn to him and say ‘sorry but this is actually a cafe not an office, if you’re in a meeting and need silence you’re in the wrong place’.
He did a big huff, picked up his laptop and walked off trying to find a new table but had to come back as it was too busy.

Now he’s sitting there giving me evil eyes.

AIBU to think I’m not in the wrong here?? I’m really not a confrontational person and normal wouldn’t speak up but a public cafe at breakfast time isn’t exactly the place to do a work meeting!
If people want to rave about working from home then go fucking work at home. People out in public don’t need to tiptoe around you because you want a change of scenery during the work day while you sit in meetings.

this man not only expected to use that space in a way that suited him, but expected others to work around his particular requirements.

It is incredible to me that you are able to confidently ascertain this man's state of mind from the information the OP gave us.

I bet cafe owners hate his kind as well. Bothering other customers and keeping tables occupied that could have brought in more money if other people who actually order regularly could use them.

He has a right to be there working but no right to be annoyed at a toddler who has just as much right to be there as he does. That's the point

Good for you! You are exactly right.
I've had meetings in cafes, but one on one or a few of us and it's a casual 'let's get out of the office' and it's not for serious business. I've also seen loads of people sit for hours nursing a cup of coffee whole working on a laptop (which can be annoying if the place is busy and they are taking up a table for ages).
Taking the kids to a cafe was my treat to myself and my tots. And even now I often take my teenage daughter to a cafe on Saturdays after her piano where we sit next to several sweet little girls in their little ballet outfits. This is what a café is all about - a meeting place for members of the community.

Well done for calling him out on it!!

You aren't being unreasonable, if he chooses to work in a public space (I'd be intrigued how his employer feels about him having meetings in earshot of others and people presumably being able to see his laptop/documents but anyway) then he has to accept there will be background noise.

Did he have headphones? Either way he's a twat. YANBU!!!

Depending on his type of work I don't imagine his employer would be happy having their business discussed in a public place. We get regular reminders about being aware of what we say and what can be overheard.

I’m loving this thread. I feel exactly the same way. Rolling eyes, huffing puffing, glaring. How rude. I call that an adult’s tantrum. Good on you for saying something.

But he is a MAN. With important MAN BUSINESS. The world must stop in order to allow him to BE IMPORTANT.

YANBU.

It is incredible to me that you are able to confidently ascertain this man's state of mind from the information the OP gave us

The irony of this is absolutely hilarious, considering you said...

He was rolling his eyes and huffing and puffing because he was annoyed at the situation but you're reading into his behaviour that he was expecting perfect silence or an office environment, or for you to act in any other way

😂Right back at ya.

You're not being unreasonable but to give him the benefit of the doubt maybe it is a one off for him to do this? Maybe his wifi at home is down today and against his wishes he has had to hop onto a call at the nearest available wifi to him? Maybe he has had a flustered morning and the last thing he wanted to do was take a Teams call from a Café? However, on the other hand I have seen people do this on a regular basis, and I agree that if you want a quiet environment then this is not an ideal solution and you shouldn't huff and puff at other customers because they are not being quiet.

Round up your mates with young dc and go back together same time tomorrow😂
Yanbu,good for you for telling him.

I agree. You know this what it comes down to. If OP was a man making a loud obnoxious phone call or similar I bet he wouldn’t be sat huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

I’d purposely breeze over and sit down on the table, saying “you don’t mind if we join you as there are no more tables?” Then start chatting to them. I’m hard-faced though 🤣

I remember reading ana reticle form the point of view of a parent during COVID, how tough it was to work with the kids at home. I was nodding along, I too had been attempting to do some fo my hours from home with a toddler running round and no daycare, working nights and opposite shifts to hubby while also still having to go into the hospital to work most days.

Got to the end and the author casually states it would be even harder if his wife wasn't a sahp 😳 and I realised he was actually just experiencing some minor background noise while someone else did the childcare.

Seems that prick has moved to your local coffee shop.

Where did the OP say she had a problem with him using his laptop in the cafe? The point was he was huffing and puffing at the OP for daring to be using a cafe in a normal way when he was having a Teams call, which obviously was causing the OP discomfort. A cafe is not the place for a Teams call if you don't want to be disturbed by other people just going about their day.

If he chooses (inappropriately in my opinion) to attend a teams meeting in a cafe then he accepts that it’s going to be noisy. Work from home if the noise is bothering him. I wouldn’t be too impressed if I was his boss with him doing that. Lack of professionalism & I hope nothing confidential was being discussed.

ANBU 1000%

Totally agree. Well behaved children who merely aren't SILENT have a right to sit and talk in a coffee shop.

There are work spaces that people can pay to use if they want silence. You can even get coffee in some of them!

Come off it, how hostile is someone allowed to make a public space feel before another person can say something?

Arrogant Twat

YANBU

The WFH aspect is a complete red herring, he might have found your toddler irritating if he was reading a newspaper, or talking to a friends etc. I know I find high pitched toddler noises irritating (mostly due to sever tinnitus), but I try not to show it. So YABVU using this as an anti-WFH message.

He WBU to be so obviously irritated, huffing and puffing about normal cafe noises.

I recall back in the day when Waitrose did a free coffee a man was sitting at a large table with his paperwork spread out all the time we were having lunch, when we finished our shopping he was still there, must have been an hour and a half later. The cafe was very busy too, the staff should have told him to leave or at least move to a smaller table!

There's another thread running about women who work remotely, wfh, and simultaneously look after their children.
I have learned that some jobs are not very formal and don't require much concentration - one man took meetings with a baby on his lap!
My point is that he won't be a doctor or a teacher or someone senior in the military - a little bit of toddler noise won't matter!

Theres no benefit of the doubt to be given to someone rolling their eyes and sighing at you for daring to behave normally in public.

Benefit of the doubt should be given to him by his employer who accepts he might be trying to do his best to work with, for example, dropped wifi at home.