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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can WFH 9-5 in the holidays with my kids at home

394 replies

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 13:38

I recently started a new job where I’m based at home full time. Was a bit nervous at first not going into an office as I’ve only ever had office based roles but I’ve found a good rhythm and routine and we meet in big city once a month so I’m happy with that.

I was off through February half term but I don’t want to use all my holidays too soon. Obviously Easter holidays are coming up. My kids are 6&9. Holiday clubs not only cost a fortune but the kids absolutely hate going to them. I can get family childcare for a couple of days and DH can take a couple of days off bit WIBU to keep them at home while I work? They’re old enough to entertain themselves i’d just need to make their lunch and check they’re still alive.

For context - I know people at my new work who WFH on half days with their 1yo babies there. One of them was late to a meeting the other day because the health visitor was round!

OP posts:
Chippy1234 · 05/03/2023 17:17

I really fear that this is going to blow up in the face of women who think they are being oh so clever, no one notices, I work after hours (yeah right!) etc.

What will happen is that companies won’t employ women as it’s rife now. Men don’t seem to have this entitled ‘childcare is so expensive, let me rip off the rest of the team, and con my employer)’ all the while convincing myself that I do a very good job.

Owlatnight · 05/03/2023 17:17

I used to take half days during all school holidays, bank holidays and including working when we we away on holiday which just about stretched out my holiday allowance

SurreyisSunny · 05/03/2023 17:19

As someone who works in HR you cannot do this. You risk losing your job. For the odd day such as when one of your children is unwell or there’s a teacher strike or maybe fine providing your company are aware and your manager agrees. Longer than this absolutely not. If you don’t tell them but somehow they found out you’d risk them taking formal action

Knitterofcrap · 05/03/2023 17:21

This would be absolutely fine where I work. Plenty of people have their DC around in the background during internal TEAMS calls etc during school holidays.

So long as the work gets done, nobody cares.

anonymousxoxo · 05/03/2023 17:26

Where I work the head of digital marketing had a baby in his lap whilst on a team meeting call, no one cared or remotely gave a fuck the baby was with him at home. Note: a man.

Childcare is way too expensive and cost of living crisis, people can’t afford to pay for it. Heating bills going up again next month.

You’re arguing with OP, but if the government put cheaper childcare options in place then so many people wouldn’t feel the need to do this.

My job - I rarely have any meetings just 30 mins catch up. My job is digital based, website oriented specifically - I use Salesforce on a daily basis. My job is based on me, no one is impacted by what I do. I actually wake up little bit earlier in the night when everyone is sleeping to get loads done. I keep getting praises, everyone is happy with me. I don’t have to work with people, see clients or interact with people unless project but that’s very rarely.

If people are want wfh jobs and feel jealous (I understand), they can do what I did go get a degree and experience to find a wfh job instead of being annoyed at people with better circumstances. Improve your own situation.

Queue the hate comments…..

Northlights22 · 05/03/2023 17:28

What about those who don’t have kids and distractions at home?

anonymousxoxo · 05/03/2023 17:29

However, I do agree no one will want to be nurses or teachers etc. Doctors yes because the pay is generally better. Why become a nurse/teacher when you can get the same money, wfh and save on childcare? Plus, in corporate salaries do improve and get a lot better.

What does this mean? Government need to pay public sector employee better, but they won’t. We will see (already are) a massive shift of people wanting office jobs for the flexibility and comfort of own home.

Badbudgeter · 05/03/2023 17:30

My youngest is 7 and I’m in the it’s unfair on your kids and work camp. I’ve done it before and if you do give it a try and Book every other day off work. Take them out and do something physical, beach, hillwalking, big bike ride followed by a swim. That way they will be tired the next day and you won’t feel so bad when you have to bribe them with pads.

Let them sleep in have an easy breakfast on the table (cereal). Clothes good to go. Plan activities that they can do without you. My kids like lego for example. Organise snacks and lunches in advance. That way when they are hungry you can just give them what’s prepared. Get them to help they can tidy up the table and floor after food. Give them a treat after and spend some together; clearly delineate the end of your working day. Explain repeatedly how important it is that you work.

Ive done this before and it is exhausting but it does mean I could cover Easter with 4 days off.

Dagnabit · 05/03/2023 17:30

I think a week would be pushing it but the odd day is fine as long as they have things to occupy themselves. I wfh predominantly, my 2 are 11 and 13 and I have wfh since the beginning of the pandemic and I can categorically say that I’m never 100% focused on work whether they are home or not! And I’m not 100% focused in the office either because it’s so damn noisy and everyone wants to chat. You are allowed to leave your desk for a screen break etc so can check in on the children then. Some posters on here are so bitter against those wfh that they create drama where none exists!

SoHereWeGo · 05/03/2023 17:32

Where I work the head of digital marketing had a baby in his lap whilst on a team meeting call, no one cared or remotely gave a fuck the baby was with him at home. Note: a man.

No one actually said anything but I bet they were thinking plenty

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/03/2023 17:32

@SurreyisSunny

As someone who works in HR you cannot do this.

Totally agree. But this isn't what she wants to hear, so she'll just ignore it and do what she wants anyway.

Maireas · 05/03/2023 17:33

SoHereWeGo · 05/03/2023 17:32

Where I work the head of digital marketing had a baby in his lap whilst on a team meeting call, no one cared or remotely gave a fuck the baby was with him at home. Note: a man.

No one actually said anything but I bet they were thinking plenty

Indeed. Either that or being head of digital marketing is the easiest job ever.

bonzaitree · 05/03/2023 17:35

So sick of picking up the slack for people who can’t be arsed to pay for Childcare.

Maireas · 05/03/2023 17:35

anonymousxoxo · 05/03/2023 17:29

However, I do agree no one will want to be nurses or teachers etc. Doctors yes because the pay is generally better. Why become a nurse/teacher when you can get the same money, wfh and save on childcare? Plus, in corporate salaries do improve and get a lot better.

What does this mean? Government need to pay public sector employee better, but they won’t. We will see (already are) a massive shift of people wanting office jobs for the flexibility and comfort of own home.

Good points. Some people have to pay for childcare, so these kind of wfh jobs would be a massive saving for many.

Weallhaveavoice · 05/03/2023 17:36

Work means work, 9-5, not childcare.
Not surprising employers want their employees back in the office.

Notjustabrunette · 05/03/2023 17:37

Have you also looked at tax free childcare? It’s a government scheme where you pay into an account and use it to pay for childcare with a 20% discount.

anonymousxoxo · 05/03/2023 17:37

The director was in the meeting, they could have said something lol! Or given a written warning. It’s a well known company so they can recruit easily? Not everyone is bitter. I couldn’t care less if I tried to lol

Flamingogirl08 · 05/03/2023 17:37

I loves these threads. MN hates the idea of wfh and childcare. In the real world, a few days in the school holidays is of course fine. Most of my team do it (men and women btw).

anonymousxoxo · 05/03/2023 17:38

Maireas · 05/03/2023 17:33

Indeed. Either that or being head of digital marketing is the easiest job ever.

Show quote history

I mentioned his job because of seniority but he’s been in his work for a while so must have picked stuff up. I said man because not just women are doing it. Stay jealous and bitter lol what’s it to me!

Maireas · 05/03/2023 17:38

Flamingogirl08 · 05/03/2023 17:37

I loves these threads. MN hates the idea of wfh and childcare. In the real world, a few days in the school holidays is of course fine. Most of my team do it (men and women btw).

Haven't most people said that a few days in the holidays isn't a problem? It's the habitual practice that some find unacceptable.

anonymousxoxo · 05/03/2023 17:39

Maireas · 05/03/2023 17:35

Good points. Some people have to pay for childcare, so these kind of wfh jobs would be a massive saving for many.

Show quote history

Yup, childcare is too expensive. Make it cheaper then people will use it.

My point is not just women are doing it, men are doing it a lot too.

spelunky · 05/03/2023 17:40

As a manager I would be pretty annoyed to find one of my employees WFH whilst in sole charge of a 6&9 year old. Those two things are not mutually compatible. 6 is way too young.

Maireas · 05/03/2023 17:40

anonymousxoxo · 05/03/2023 17:38

I mentioned his job because of seniority but he’s been in his work for a while so must have picked stuff up. I said man because not just women are doing it. Stay jealous and bitter lol what’s it to me!

Show quote history

Don't resort to name calling.
It's very silly.
It's an online discussion, so people will discuss. Applying unsupported personal slights really isn't nice.

anonymousxoxo · 05/03/2023 17:40

Flamingogirl08 · 05/03/2023 17:37

I loves these threads. MN hates the idea of wfh and childcare. In the real world, a few days in the school holidays is of course fine. Most of my team do it (men and women btw).

I know, people are just terribly bitter and jealous. Why would I care what a stranger thinks when I’m saving £2,000 a month? Hmm.. I’m too busy skipping towards the bank. Improving my career prospects. Every 1-2-1 I have, I get praises :):):)

BentleyRhythmAce · 05/03/2023 17:40

bonzaitree · 05/03/2023 17:35

So sick of picking up the slack for people who can’t be arsed to pay for Childcare.

Yes, this. When you took the job what did you have planned? People always think no one notices or cares when they're looking after their kids when they ought to be working. We do notice, and we do care, and it does piss us off.