I just shouted in his face

Gettissuesgotissues · 2023-03-04T09:53:45+00:00

Despite repeated conversations asking him not to, my DH shouts at the kids, sometimes several times a day. He also makes these stupid loud growling noises. He just did it again, shouting 'child's name'. It used to give me a fright, never mind the kids, and I'm usually in the next room when this happens. Anyway, today I just lost it, and shouted right in his face 'stop shouting at the kids!' I rarely shout, unless there's danger, and hate confrontation. I'm ashamed I did this.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/03/2023 09:55

This should be your final wake-up call to get rid of this abusive arsehole. Your poor kids are already so damaged by him.

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 09:56

No need to be ashamed, stand up for yourself, you are a Queen and he better recognise your worth. You don't owe anyone to act saintly 24/7 as you're human like the rest of us

drpet49 · 04/03/2023 09:56

Nah he deserves a taste of his own medicine OP.

ReneBumsWombats · 04/03/2023 09:57

How did he respond?

And I'd consider the relationship. Growling (??) and shouty men are the worst. Shouty women are bad too but there don't seem to be as many of them and they don't seem to use their shoutiness to intimidate and force obedience so much.

bloodyplanes · 04/03/2023 09:59

Aquamarine1029 · 04/03/2023 09:55

This should be your final wake-up call to get rid of this abusive arsehole. Your poor kids are already so damaged by him.

So you decided from the fact that he shouts that he is an abusive arsehole!! Wow!! I shout lots, im far from abusive and my kids are most definitely not scared of me!

Thepossibility · 04/03/2023 10:00

I wouldn't be ashamed.
I doubt a Neanderthal like your DH would respond to anything less.
Growling noises. Fucking awful.

ReneBumsWombats · 04/03/2023 10:01

bloodyplanes · 04/03/2023 09:59

So you decided from the fact that he shouts that he is an abusive arsehole!! Wow!! I shout lots, im far from abusive and my kids are most definitely not scared of me!

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NO I BET THEY'RE NOT

twitterexile · 04/03/2023 10:03

Shouting is awful. Your partner sounds like a complete dick.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/03/2023 10:04

bloodyplanes · 04/03/2023 09:59

So you decided from the fact that he shouts that he is an abusive arsehole!! Wow!! I shout lots, im far from abusive and my kids are most definitely not scared of me!

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Shouting "lots" at children is abusive. HTH.

Original poster

Gettissuesgotissues · 04/03/2023 10:04

He looked shocked.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 04/03/2023 10:05

Gettissuesgotissues · 04/03/2023 10:04

He looked shocked.

Bullies always are when someone finally stands up to them.

TeaserandtheFirecat · 04/03/2023 10:07

Gettissuesgotissues · 04/03/2023 10:04

He looked shocked.

Next time, a good growl at the twat

bloodyplanes · 04/03/2023 10:10

@@Aquamarine1029 that's absolute bollocks unless you know the context! Maybe the kids are nightmares, maybe the op does nothing to stop bad behaviour and her dh is at the end of his tether? You don't need to shout to be abusive! Im a shouty person, i will ask nicely once and if its not done i get shouty! My kids would laugh at you if you suggested they were scared of me or that i was abusive! My ex husband was an extremely abusive, narcissistic bully who very very rarely ever raised his voice or lost his temper!

ReneBumsWombats · 04/03/2023 10:11

Gettissuesgotissues · 04/03/2023 10:04

He looked shocked.

Ooh. Does he not like being shouted at?

ReneBumsWombats · 04/03/2023 10:12

bloodyplanes · 04/03/2023 10:10

@@Aquamarine1029 that's absolute bollocks unless you know the context! Maybe the kids are nightmares, maybe the op does nothing to stop bad behaviour and her dh is at the end of his tether? You don't need to shout to be abusive! Im a shouty person, i will ask nicely once and if its not done i get shouty! My kids would laugh at you if you suggested they were scared of me or that i was abusive! My ex husband was an extremely abusive, narcissistic bully who very very rarely ever raised his voice or lost his temper!

How do you respond when your kids shout at you?

Soproudoflionesses · 04/03/2023 10:15

I think the more someone else shouts, the less effect it has so hopefully you doing it as a one off because he has pushed you to your breaking point will make him sit up and think.

bloodyplanes · 04/03/2023 10:17

@ReneBumsWombats again it depends on the context

ReneBumsWombats · 04/03/2023 10:18

bloodyplanes · 04/03/2023 10:17

@ReneBumsWombats again it depends on the context

When is it fine for your kids to shout at you and each other?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/03/2023 10:19

Im a shouty person

That is abundantly clear.

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 10:21

Gettissuesgotissues · 04/03/2023 10:04

He looked shocked.

Now he is well aware how he comes off 🤬

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 10:22

Aquamarine1029 · 04/03/2023 10:05

Bullies always are when someone finally stands up to them.

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👍

Sunriseinwonderland · 04/03/2023 10:22

My stepfather screamed at me all the time and when I left home I was a shadow of my former self. I never really recovered. There were beatings too. I was later diagnosed with complex PTSD. My mother sat back and did nothing. I never see them now. I cant bear to be near either of them.

Sunriseinwonderland · 04/03/2023 10:24

I should add does your husband want to lose your children forever? Because they won't want to be around him when they are adults. He'll be alone. He should go to counselling and sort himself out.

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 10:24

Sunriseinwonderland · 04/03/2023 10:22

My stepfather screamed at me all the time and when I left home I was a shadow of my former self. I never really recovered. There were beatings too. I was later diagnosed with complex PTSD. My mother sat back and did nothing. I never see them now. I cant bear to be near either of them.

@Sunriseinwonderland

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 10:25

cassiatwenty · 04/03/2023 10:24

@Sunriseinwonderland

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