To think we shouldn’t leave kids unsupervised while in bed

[Namechange12908]

…early in the morning. At what age would you do this? DC are 7 and 4 and will happily watch TV/play after breakfast. Kids wake up quite early (6-7ish), and at a weekend DH an I take turns at lie in, the other gets up with the kids. If it’s DH's turn to get up he will usually happily come back to bed for an hour after making them breakfast. He says he will hear if they start fighting or they come find him if they need anything. I would love to do the same but I don’t feel comfortable leaving them unsupervised.IABU?

I would say yes, but remember having stepchildren of 5 and 10 - fine watching TV for an hour until DSS10 threw DS5 over the back of the sofa and he landed on his head.

He didn’t mean to hurt him and the x-ray was fine :)

At 7yo it was my job to get up and make breakfast for everyone before church on Sunday. OK it was cereal and fruit, but the table had to be properly laid and the teapot ready for the hot water.

It depends on the child and how safe your home is.
If you've got child settings on TV, safe room heaters, hazard-free kitchen, secure door locks and children who can be trusted not to climb, move furniture etc, then you're probably ok for a bit.
You can usually tell if things are ok by the tone of reply to 'Everything ok downstairs, kids?'

I leave mine in the morning aged 5 and 7. It's rare that I go back to sleep though so I can always hear what's going on. Sometimes I do snooze though and it's fine.

They can be trusted not to leave the house, do any cooking and if something did happen one of them would come and tell us.

They need to start learning some independence and this is how it starts.

It does depend on how your kids interact with each other, some siblings help each other, other siblings fight constantly. It's not a one size fits all situation

I was getting my 18mo brother his breakfast when I was 6! I wouldn’t go that far myself but I’m quite happy for my 5yo to get up and get herself some water, a brioche and a banana and watch some TV. That said we are all on one level so I can hear her. I might feel a bit edgier if she was on a different floor.

I would have trusted one of mine but not the others.
One would look for trouble, one would create it and one would be completely clueless about anything.
Not fair on the one that would be okay!

Ds 9 has been playing in his room or going downstairs alone for the last couple of years.We're always awake just like to have a coffee in bed before we get up

Why? They can tell you if they need you.

I think it depends on the child. It's been a while since mine were that young but what I can say is that my ds was always very reliable in doing what he was told and following rules and my dd was not so I think I kept more of an eye on her.

I was 3 or 4 when I started going downstairs by myself at the weekends. I don’t think it was ever a thing I was ‘allowed’ to do, I just didn’t wake my parents up before going downstairs, making myself a bowl of chocolate Weetos and ice cream/rice pudding (breakfast of champions) and waiting for the TV channels to start for the day so I could watch cartoons.

Those mornings were ace - 4 and 7 is definitely more than old enough. But maybe keep an eye on your ice cream levels 😁

I don't get it. If you are both back in bed after the children have breakfast ,what is the difference if he gets up and then comes back to bed or you get up and back to bed. It is the same thing. It all depends on what your children are like, how they get on, the layout of your house, other risks like pets etc. Unless you are saying you get up because husband is back in bed ,or you argue and make husband get up again. You are both leaving them downstairs on his day to do breakfast.

How far away from your bedroom are they? It might be a 20 room mansion.
Do they have additional needs?
Complex trauma so need extra supervision?

You know your own children and will know if you feel they will sit and watch tv and get you if needed, it's not that difficult surely.

Depends on what you think they might get up to. I give mine breakfast and go back to bed for a bit.

Mine are a bit older now (teens and preteen) but I always got up with mine. We took it in turns. I suppose I found the idea of both parents sleeping while the kids were up having breakfast a bit weird to be honest but since these threads stared on MN I’ve been really surprised to find myself completely in the minority. I genuinely didn’t know everyone else was sleeping while their kids were up helping themselves to breakfast. I wouldn’t have been comfortable with it myself. I think for everyone it’s an individual choice as to what they are comfortable with.

For me, 4 is too young to be unsupervised for an hour.

My two are older & still do stupid shit like swinging sticks around when I'm present in the room.

It also puts responsibility on a 7yo and Im not comfortable with that either.

I leave cereal in a bowl for my 6 year old and milk in a small jug in the fridge and he is happy to make his own and watch tv for a few hours, they will be fine

At 4 & 7, why ever not?

As long as your house is childproofed, ie medicines and other hazardous items are stored securely, and you don't have open fires or dodgy electrics.

They need to develop a sense of self-sufficiency, and that means being left to play on their own sometimes. As long as they know you are nearby, and you would hear any fighting, relax and enjoy your coffee in bed.

Good lord, assuming neither have additional needs, it’s absolutely fine. Get yourself some rest!!!

My son has been 'unsupervised' since young enough. Initially in a one bed apartment with the doors open so practically in the same room. We have since moved and I was quite sick during Covid lockdowns, at times unable to get out of bed. It's just the 2 of us and he had to fend for himself a lot. Not quite how I'd have wanted things but thankfully he's very sensible and not one to go trying to turn on the cooker or anything.

Its going to depend on the children isn't it? Some are happy just chilling out watching some tv in the morning while others will argue with each other or try and do something dangerous, and some won't even want to go downstairs without a parent. My DD would have been fine from 4 onwards but wasn't an early riser and was usually sleeping in my bed by morning so we'd both wake up together, but DS is 5 and I think he'd be too scared to be downstairs by himself (but luckily OH is an early riser so is always happy to get up with DS on weekends while I have a lie in)

Mine are 5, 6 and 7. At the weekends they get themselves a brioche/croissant and watch their tablets in bed until we get up but i wouldn't mind them going downstairs to watch tv. I recently had a severe kidney infection and was too ill to get out of bed for about 3 days, DP was working away, and there was no one else to watch them. It was over half term, so all 3 of them were home. They had no choice but to amuse themselves, and despite it not being an ideal situation, they were perfectly fine. I kept the front door locked and key upstairs with me.

Yeah old enough to come up if a problem

I think DS was about 4 when we'd let him get up on his own, though not for very long at that age. He knew he could grab fruit if he was hungry. He is very predictable in his behaviour though.

I used to give mine breakfast and go back to bed when they were maybe 3 and 5. But we lived in a flat the bedroom was next door to living room. The just watched cartoons while l dozed. I could hear if they argued but mainly they were happy to have a few hours of Saturday morning TV.