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Original poster

To ask for your top tips as I lurch into late 40s

119 replies

GingerPanda · 03/03/2023 22:02

I'm going to be 47 very soon, in the next few days... The prospect of yet another birthday is not really very enticing, though I recognise it is certainly better than the alternative. I thought I'd ask those of you who may be a similar age or perhaps a bit older for your top tips as 50 approaches.

I'm in decent health, bit more of a belly than I really want but not 'officially' overweight, one much loved and happy kid in primary school, no money worries. I am lucky in so many ways. No sign yet of perimenopause yet, though I'm quite scared of that to be honest.

I do have lots of stress in my life however from work and marriage, to the point where recently I've been getting some chest pain which has prompted some reflection! My life is pretty flat and I've lost a lot of enthusiasm and oomph since my child was born, mostly due to relationship difficulties.

So what can I do to stay in good health, get more energy and positivity, and generally wake up in the morning feeling good about the day ahead? And keep feeling that way for the next 20 plus years?

Any kind of tips welcome! Appearance, diet, psychology, finances, attitude, whatever... Thanks for all and any suggestions 😁

OP posts:
tempusername1234 · 03/03/2023 23:23

FakeBilly · 03/03/2023 23:21

Doing periodic silent retreats at a Buddhist retreat centre, buying wonderful clothes, solo travel.

I'm doing one tomorrow. Really looking forward to it .

Hertsdad5 · 03/03/2023 23:33

hi. Here are my top tips that I try to live myself:

  1. exercise everyday outdoors - 5 mins or 5 hrs doesn’t matter we need the dopamine and the Vit d as we get older. I personally do cycling

  2. enjoy what you wear - don’t slip into the joggers and fleece trap. If you look good you feel good. I see this all the time post 40 couples stop bothering and I think clothes express how u feel. EBay and Vinted is so cheap nowadays you can reuse and recycle

  3. learn a new hobby - art class, French class whatever we need that stimulation to stay interested in life. It also helps to make new friends.

  4. balanced diet - I don’t think you shud go without but moderate intake. Many friends have given up alcohol.

  5. give back - could be volunteering, cleaning rubbish off streets, be on local committee or just kind things for people in need - this gets more important when u get older.

the biggest lightbulb moment I had was when I realised the media / advertising try and control how we feel and live. Who says that being a stressed millionaire is better than being fairly paid in a job u love? Who says a 5* holiday in Thailand is any more fun than a city break in UK?

wake up everyday with a little goal - walk to shops, finish that puzzle, start that course, phone an old friend etc and mentally tick off before bed

i do hope this helps

PurplePosies · 04/03/2023 00:16

Hertsdad5 · 03/03/2023 23:33

hi. Here are my top tips that I try to live myself:

  1. exercise everyday outdoors - 5 mins or 5 hrs doesn’t matter we need the dopamine and the Vit d as we get older. I personally do cycling

  2. enjoy what you wear - don’t slip into the joggers and fleece trap. If you look good you feel good. I see this all the time post 40 couples stop bothering and I think clothes express how u feel. EBay and Vinted is so cheap nowadays you can reuse and recycle

  3. learn a new hobby - art class, French class whatever we need that stimulation to stay interested in life. It also helps to make new friends.

  4. balanced diet - I don’t think you shud go without but moderate intake. Many friends have given up alcohol.

  5. give back - could be volunteering, cleaning rubbish off streets, be on local committee or just kind things for people in need - this gets more important when u get older.

the biggest lightbulb moment I had was when I realised the media / advertising try and control how we feel and live. Who says that being a stressed millionaire is better than being fairly paid in a job u love? Who says a 5* holiday in Thailand is any more fun than a city break in UK?

wake up everyday with a little goal - walk to shops, finish that puzzle, start that course, phone an old friend etc and mentally tick off before bed

i do hope this helps

As a 48 year old (now reluctantly) in advertising, I couldn't agree more!

CrapBucket · 04/03/2023 00:27

I'm mid 40s and this is a great thread, thank you! I ended a terrible marriage a while back, next step is to change my lacklustre job - I want to sort all the things out that I might regret not having done in 10 years time. My DC are almost grown up and the world will soon be my oyster, I hope.

Lentilweaver · 04/03/2023 00:37

Solo travel. Believe me, you will need it.

Greengagesnfennel · 04/03/2023 00:41

Sex always cheers me up.

Cheap and, if you are married, presumably readily available.

RhadamanthNemes · 04/03/2023 00:42

I've always liked myself.

Really.

49 now.

I think I'm brilliant. Even better than that!! Other people do too.

But yes, goals are good.

They don't have to be huge.

I always had a fucking brilliant relationship with myself.

Work on that.

IntentionalError · 04/03/2023 00:48

Firstly, get the chest pain checked out ASAP. That’s really not something you should ignore.
Secondly, exercise. Find something you actually enjoy. For me, it’s walking in the countryside & cycling. For others, it might be swimming, gym & racket sports. Some weirdos even enjoy running, apparently. 🤷🏻‍♀️
Get the chest pain checked out first, though.

Loocheeyar · 04/03/2023 00:48

Me …

divorce cheered me up no end !
sex with a lover at weekends !
b12 iron zinc iodine
hrt is worth it’s weight in gold
new make up
get your colours done can get it done cheaply on line
The liberation is real

RhadamanthNemes · 04/03/2023 00:51

And don't be scared of menopause, it's going to happen whether you're there or not.

It's just a hormonal switch.
And.
Help is available.

There.
Is.
Nothing.
To. Be.
Scared.
Of. Getting. Older.

RhadamanthNemes · 04/03/2023 00:57

I remember being terrified of giving birth. The thought was appalling.

But.

It was actually OK. It was fine!

Menopause is the same.

Fear!

Acceptance!

Well that was OK!

HaroldTheStallion · 04/03/2023 00:59

Be brave and face your fears, whatever they may be. Keep expanding your horizons.

Exercise. I did couch to 5k and now I'm on strava running 5k three times a week.

Work on your friendships - with new friends and old.

Geppili · 04/03/2023 03:08

SPF everday on face, neck décolleté and hands!

izzy2076 · 04/03/2023 05:02

About to turn 50 here, hence the insomnia! What works for me:

Constantly reflect on the brilliance of your Middle aged personality: the lack of fucks given, the lack of neediness, your knowledge and wisdom.

Be glad you were young in the 90s.

Lift heavy weights.
Give up booze
Walk/cycle: time outdoors
HRT/magnesium
Intermittent fasting
Eat delicious food but don't overdo it
Nourishing friendships/one on one time with other brilliant women
Book holidays
Leave the job you hate
Adventure! Go on holiday off the beaten track, preferably without your family so you can remember how fascinating the world can be.

Cheesedoffandgrumpy · 04/03/2023 06:15

#pilates
#good diet
#a good multivitamin
#learn something new

Mummadeze · 04/03/2023 06:24

Tennis is my passion. It is addictive and a total stress buster / mood enhancer. I am 49 and gave up alcohol over the past few years, ie cutting down and then stopping. This has been a wonderful revelation. Sorting out my diet and weight is my next big goal. Working from home 3 days a week has also made my life much better. I am on HRT which has stopped my hot flushes but am still waiting on the energy burst.

Summerhillsquare · 04/03/2023 07:48

You have take the first and most important steps, which are to reflect, and ask for help. I spent ages frozen in fear and didn't do that.

Eventually though, I took up swimming, and sleeping 9-5 to tackle sleep issues. Those two things just about keep me fit to tackle everything else.

Namechangetimesigh · 04/03/2023 07:48

47 here. Responsibilities at home, personal health stuff that has to be kept on top off, all the usual here. But I've found it is crucial to have a week 'off' every year, not just a holiday, but an entirely selfish week in the sun with someone else looking after me, activities organised by someone else, food just appears etc. It's bliss, resets me and I look forward to it all year. I go on an organised group activity holiday to get it.

Redcase · 04/03/2023 08:12
  1. Put more effort into your friendships. They are worth more than gold.
  2. Try and have time away with these friends (strictly no kids!) to come back rejuvenated and full of joy!
  3. Maybe find a exercise group or team sport that you enjoy so you are more motivated to stick at and have fun.
  4. Get a good hairdresser/ colourist.
  5. Not everyone has the privilege of getting to 50. Bloody enjoy it!
lostinabook · 04/03/2023 08:22

izzy2076 · 04/03/2023 05:02

About to turn 50 here, hence the insomnia! What works for me:

Constantly reflect on the brilliance of your Middle aged personality: the lack of fucks given, the lack of neediness, your knowledge and wisdom.

Be glad you were young in the 90s.

Lift heavy weights.
Give up booze
Walk/cycle: time outdoors
HRT/magnesium
Intermittent fasting
Eat delicious food but don't overdo it
Nourishing friendships/one on one time with other brilliant women
Book holidays
Leave the job you hate
Adventure! Go on holiday off the beaten track, preferably without your family so you can remember how fascinating the world can be.

@izzy2076 I have screenshotted your reply and sent to a friend as I loved the advice so much!

Bohemond · 04/03/2023 08:44

I lost the plot at 48. Thought it was work stress, lockdown, small child. Palpitations, insomnia, couldn’t focus, memory loss, tinnitus. Of course it was hormonal! Now fixed, I feel great and have more confidence and energy than I did in my thirties. Here is what worked for me:
HRT
Selaura supplement (amazing for focus and concentration)
Got contact lenses (no need for ageing glasses anymore and means I can pluck my eyebrows and put on makeup properly)
Joined a fun Facebook style group and overhauled my wardrobe
Began food shopping at same time once a week. This has been transformative for me. We always have what we need; we don’t waste food; and there is no stress during the day as I always know what I (or husband) is making for supper.
Regular exercise and me time but this has been an outcome of the other actions rather than a driver if that makes sense.
Go for it - being 50 is great as far as I am concerned.

FrenchBoule · 04/03/2023 08:54

Watching with interest.

Exercise. I joined local group playing basketball,similar age so not competitive but social. Gets me out of the house and nice to meet people once a week.

Currently considering buying roller skates.DH says I’m mad,I’m blaming looming menopause.

Still need to work on a flab around my waist,will get there 🙂

Drink water. Doesn’t have to be lot,a cup here and there. Really helps.

Creatinghaddock · 04/03/2023 08:59

FakeBilly

Could you say more about the Buddhist silent retreat, please? What goes on and what do you take away from it?

pointythings · 04/03/2023 09:01

@GingerPanda liberating moments are the ones when you have gone into your day not giving a stuff about what you look like or what you're wearing, and you realise nobody is staring at you, wondering 'what does she look like' or judging you, and that the only one who cares about that stuff is you.

The next step is going out in something that feels good and cool to you, even if it is weird, and having a stranger tell you that you have style - happened to me a couple of weeks ago on the way to a concert.

Also, go to gigs if you want to, even if you never have.

privateeyeeye · 04/03/2023 09:11

My life is pretty good. I use the ‘streaks’ app to make that I

meditate (tho I am rubbish at it)
skip
yoga
do duolingo
do a face massage
Take vitamins
read my gratitude note
write in my diary

everyday - well most of the time. I also put a lot of effort into my relationship with my DH after a friend’s DH suddenly passed away and I realised I was taking mine for granted a bit.

I do drink too much but I use this to have drink free days - it REALLY works!

sentiaspirits.com/

The gratitude note on my phone is really useful. Start yours now !