To ask for your top tips as I lurch into late 40s

[GingerPanda]

I'm going to be 47 very soon, in the next few days... The prospect of yet another birthday is not really very enticing, though I recognise it is certainly better than the alternative. I thought I'd ask those of you who may be a similar age or perhaps a bit older for your top tips as 50 approaches.

I'm in decent health, bit more of a belly than I really want but not 'officially' overweight, one much loved and happy kid in primary school, no money worries. I am lucky in so many ways. No sign yet of perimenopause yet, though I'm quite scared of that to be honest.

I do have lots of stress in my life however from work and marriage, to the point where recently I've been getting some chest pain which has prompted some reflection! My life is pretty flat and I've lost a lot of enthusiasm and oomph since my child was born, mostly due to relationship difficulties.

So what can I do to stay in good health, get more energy and positivity, and generally wake up in the morning feeling good about the day ahead? And keep feeling that way for the next 20 plus years?

Any kind of tips welcome! Appearance, diet, psychology, finances, attitude, whatever... Thanks for all and any suggestions 😁

And I read this every day - not saying your are complaining but it helps me reframe issues

Sister, there are people who went to sleep all over the world last night, poor and rich and white and black, but they will never wake again. Sister, those who expected to rise did not, their beds became their cooling boards, and their blankets became their winding sheets. And those dead folks would give anything, anything at all for just five minutes of this... So you watch yourself about complaining, Sister. What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain.”

Some fabulous posts thanks

Giving up booze is a game changer. About six weeks after stopping drinking I looked at my face and any puffiness had completely gone. More importantly it was really dragging down my energy levels.

Really nurturing good friendships.

Meditation.

Getting outside as much as possible.

These are all things that I think really help.

I think you're fucking brilliant too @RhadamanthNemes and I don't even know you in real life :)

So many great ideas. I have magnesium and iron in the cupboard already, oddly enough they weren't doing me much good just sitting there so I have actually swallowed some this morning. Solo travel sounds bloody brilliant, I can do that. I often lie in bed dreaming of a hotel room all to myself.

Going for a swim later :) perhaps even a run as well.

Re alcohol, I already have some Sentia which tastes nice but not sure it has much actual effect on me. There are some alcohol free beers that I really like and I've got a CBD spray I should try again.

@privateeyeeye yes, we'll all be a long time dead, it's true. Your post is nicely expressed.

I'm glad this seems to be helping some other people too!

If you hydrate on a regular basis, it's the best thing you can do for your skin

Do you have a skincare routine?

Enjoy your late 40s. You won't get them again, and you'll look back and think 'if only I'd...' known/done. So enjoy where you are now, you'll only do it once. By all means fix things that need fixing, but don't focus so hard on an unachievable perfection that you don't enjoy now.

Simplify your life. Do something you enjoy everyday, even if it is just a walk somewhere.

Exercise - indulge in a current one or take up a new one. Walking, yoga/pilates/weights, so a mix and see what sticks.

Spend your time wisely.

Eat well and cut back on the booze.

Learn something new - language, skill or just stuff . Open learn has some great free courses on a wide range of topics. Do an Open University course, something to work through and gain a sense of achievement.

Review your skin care and make sure it is working for you. Use SPF!!

Peri nothing to be scared off, we all made it through puberty so this is just round 2 with the benefit of knowledge and past experience.

I love this thread. Thank you for starting it OP.

I would say:
See your friends more
Exercise more
Get out into nature more
See any surviving parents as much as you as they won't be around for long.
Buy nice clothes
Get the dog you've always dreamt of and walk it in beautiful places.

I want to travel more as others have said. That requires money which is in short supply at the moment, but it's a definite priority.

Take the train into the city for cocktails on a Saturday afternoon.

Wear trainers (as an 80s stilletto girl, it took me a while to embrace this).

Tell your parents you love them, spend time with them, spoil them.

Dentist.

Buy the "thing" you've always wanted....cat/boat/campervan/versace.

God I am reading this with great interest. I feel a bit low post mid forties birthday and this thread is so helpful.

Loving yourself is the key to happiness, you will then be able to share your love with others when you are not wasting time worrying.
Stop investing in friends that make you feel bad, advertising is there to make you part with your money, choose what you want not what your told you need.
Get out doors, even better if you can get to the sea or up a mountain, appreciate life spend time doing activities that fill you with joy.
Im happier now than I’ve ever been, no HRT took sage tablets for hot sweats, luckily had an easy menopause even came off the ADs I’d been on for years.
Don’t get hung up on your looks, you are lucky to age it’s a gift not given to everyone.

Strength training to give you bone strength as your oestrogen levels drop, so you are less likely to break bones when you're old. And also to look good and feel lovely and strong etc. now too obviously!

And HRT. You might not feel bad now, but your oestrogen levels ARE dropping. Get your Mirena replaced (or get one) because this is NOT the time to get pregnant (oh I'm too old! It's fine!) and then you can get oestrogen-only HRT.

Is the stress because your husband is a jerk? Don't hit 50 in a sad marriage if you're not happy together.

Check your Martin Lewis email from this week and check that your pension contributions are up to date.

I love this thread - I'm also 47 and feel similar to you OP.

I've started running with a friend on a Saturday morning and it's had a massive impact on mood - both the exercise and the regular scheduled connection with another human who isn't family or work.

Everyday;

Be a bit hungry
Get sweaty
Aim for a bit more sleep
Get out in nature
Eat more vegetables & plant foods
Have A laugh.

I was devastated when I hit 50. And in lockdown so not even a party!

I'm gradually building a "50 things to do in my 50s" list. It's really energised my feeling about getting "older".

Egs: doing C25K to return to (a long love of) running; parascending; growing an apple tree: winning rock-paper-scissors against my son; doing an ultra marathon; doing a swim-run; cycling coast to coast; a holiday in the Highlands and Islands of Scotland; selling a pot (I do ceramics); visiting Japan; learning raku; learning to use my slow cooker; visiting a warm island with blue, blue warm seas - just once in my life; having a holiday in a quality hotel; painting my kitchen table and cupboards; having a night without a child in my bed; eating a slice of carrot cake without feeling guilty for a week.......

My 45th birthday was the worst of my life. After that I became more chilled about it all. Maybe this is your "45th" moment. Hope so.

And work out which friendships you really enjoy - and focus on them.

And learn not to take everybody's problems on yourself. Focus on what you can meaningfully help with, and allow others to help the people you cannot.

I promise you, lighting a candle won't enhance your life!
Focus outwards rather than your body & home & do new things. What have you always wanted to do but haven't? A challenge, travel, new hobby etc.

Don't take for granted your health & do what you want while you can!

Exercise, keep moving or lose it, but prioritise low impact to preserve your joints.

Skin care, skin care, skin care. I hope you've been using sunscreen on your face, and use good serums/cream on your face and neck. Retinol A is also brilliant ... again, you'll need to protect your skin from the sun.

And IMO, the 'face or figure' dilemma is real. Putting on a touch of extra weight in your 40s if you've been slender all your life will help keep your face from hollowing out as you age.

I’m mid 40s and reading with interest.

I gave up alcohol 3 years ago, which has made a huge difference to how healthy and vibrant I feel.

HRT - early days yet but my sleep is better and my midlife acne breakouts have disappeared.

Daily 30 mins of yoga. Slowly starting to feel the benefits of this. I also love that this is ‘my time’ each day and I prioritise it above everything.

Doing the things I want to do rather than putting them off for ‘the future’. This year I’ve started writing again, booked tickets to things I want to do/see, booked some trips I want to take.

Less shits given about work. I enjoy what I do mostly and I want to keep progressing in my career for the salary increase, but I really don’t get my sense of self worth it identity from work anymore.

Massively less interested in what people think of me and I intend to keep cultivating this!

You know how you said your husband is your best friend, you don't need any other friends because of their 'drama', and you are happy with your own little family. Rethink that! And make more friends or reconnect with old ones ( Not you personally, just a general you).

Exercise, healthy lifestyle

Buy a blood pressure monitor. High blood pressure is called a "silent killer" because you can be quite unwell, but totally unaware

55 here and I’m slowly improving after a few difficult perimenopause years. What helps me
swimming - now going regularly which is easier to fit in as children are older
trying to express what I actually think about things, whic I’ve always been awful at, but I think it’s easier for me post menopause than it used to be, so I end up taking on a reasonable amount of tasks, not everything around the house
Short breaks during the working day for a stroll, cup of coffee, short errand (don’t think I’d last in a job where this wasn’t possible)
taking time to book trips and days out with family and friends, have just booked a weekend away with mum and sister, a day at an athletics event with my son and a theatre visit with my DD
enjoying my work, I’ve moved teams at work which has really helped (not a massive change but now I can relax in the office to a greater extent with more compatible people)
And I am considering the weight training program mentioned by a pp above

Prioritise sleep. If that means you don't go out as much as you used to, so be it.

Try to stay active.

Try not to pack more weight on. When you are ready, pick a sensible weight loss regime to shed ten pounds. Avoid extreme crash diets.

by my late 40s I knew that I was in a bad marriage but I stayed for the sake of my children . That was a bad decision and it took me more than another decade to get out and away from my ex.

Dont be me @GingerPanda . If you can’t make it work then get out now.