To think school competitions leave some children very sad?

[Orangeis]

We had an Eisteddfod on Wednesday (it's like a Welsh talent competition) and both dc got a prize so this post isn't sour grapes.

But both my dc have told me some children were sad as they didn't have any entries or some of their entries were a bit rubbish.
The dc are too young to do the entries alone, it's craft, photography etc that's to be done at home.

I wonder why the school can't do some class based entries as well to give the dc without parental input a chance. I know these things are a PITA sometimes, people work, some parents just can't engage for various reasons so it's not that I'm bashing them either.

Do your school try hard to be inclusive of everyone, or is this quite standard? I'm just feeling a bit sorry for some of the kids involved.

Yes, I agree. When mine were at school they would have prizes for eg model making, best costume or Easter hat. Some kids brought in virtually professional standard offerings while some were lame ( ours) and some non existent.

Doing whole class projects or at least projects where all the children have the same resources would be fairer. That said I think competitions do build resilience and confidence so do have a place in schools.

Yes any entries should only be done by the children and in class

As for those who are sad, they will get over it and need to learn that you win some and you loose some and maybe their talents lie elsewhere.

It annoys me on sports day when EVERYONE gets a medal takes the shine away from the children who excel at sports and maybe that's all they are 'good' at yet don't get recognised.

not every event is for every child

but there should be something for everyone over the years

Yes, I agree there should be some competition- sports day could have a mixture of team/independent events etc. However it seems to start so young and is often the same children being left out of winning. My children's school is very competitive. They had a cross country event the other day and even reception children took part and were given a token with their number on at the end. The little girl who got last place was crying and it just seemed a bit cruel at that age. The school says it builds resilience.

The idea that children should never be disappointed when they are younger stores up problems for the future though - always allowing a kid to win games, for example, leads to very poor losers.

Professional parent-made stuff should be disqualified though.

Depends on the judge
my son won the Easter egg for 2 hard boiled brown eggs with felt tip face and bunny ears and noses he cut and stick on which put in a shoe box cage with a carrot

he was up against multiple parent done offerings including wood structures

I totally agree that every child shouldn't win every event, they all have strengths and challenges.
It's just this particular event that was parent led, most dc of 6 or 7 wouldn't have a camera, or be able to source their own craft stuff, or even know what the competition brief was.
I wonder if they were sat there thinking "Why didn't my parents bother to help me to enter this competition?"

What is the point of an Eisteddfod if "everyone wins"!? It's a competition. Some will win, some will lose. Some will be thrilled, some will be disappointed. It's life 🤷🏻‍♀️

In saying that, my secondary school Eisteddfod had competitions that you could only enter through classwork. E.g the poetry competition entries were written in class time and the poetry recital competition was also class-based (you learned and recited the poem in class and the teacher chose the best from their class and you were whittled down from there).

If the school has enough categories there should really be something to appeal to each child (writing, art, music, dance, poetry) and ideally they would be light on necessary resources but even then there would be disappointed children. Inclusive doesn't mean everyone wins.

In our school all entries are completed in class. Surely your school does recitation and handwriting and singing and choir? That's all school based stuff.

Do you mean that some kids didn't do a homework based entry? If so the must still have had chance to paint a daffodil, write out the first verse of the anthem and do a dreaded acrostic poem based on CYMRU?

I hate the argument that kids should learn how to lose. Of course they should but you'll still find plenty of cocky kids who win at sports day and times tables and whose parents do all their art projects for them so they win at those too. Why do only the "loser" kids have to learn how to cope with disappointment? You'll find it often is the same kids who never end up winning anything school related, have a massive confidence knock, while the same kids who win everything sometimes turn into the school bully.
(I wouldn't ever call a kid a loser by the way before anyone digs me out - I used the word for effect here)

Doing whole class projects or only allowing entries made in class is just another form of unfair. It discriminates against children who work more slowly, or who don't express themselves best in paper/card/crayons. It leaves no room to show what they do out of the classroom and that can be really important for children who are not traditionally "school shaped" or who don't necessarily shine out at school.

Losing and feeling sad doesn’t build resilience in many children. It builds in avoidance and low self esteem. Losing and wanting to beat people (or do better) next time can motivate a few children but at what cost?

Schools should mirror the sort of societies we want the future generations to build. Ones of inclusivity and people being celebrated for their unique talents. The thinking around managing competitive events still has a long way to go in British schools imo.

It was standard at our primary - kids always got prizes for their parent's work - I drew the line when ds was put in detention for not making enough effort at his art entry. Had to have a wee chat with the teacher on that one - just to let them know that - often parents do all the work, which should have been evident and Ds is not artistic or creative and getting detention for being crap at art wasn't exactly going to help him be better at it. The art teachers at secondary made a massive difference though to how he felt and he produced some quite amazing pieces.

UWhatNow · Today 14:02

Losing and feeling sad doesn’t build resilience in many children. It builds in avoidance and low self esteem. Losing and wanting to beat people (or do better) next time can motivate a few children but at what cost?

Completely agree with this. It seems a very backward and old fashioned way of teaching kids to me.

Especially in events where its immediately obvious to everyone who came last. Like sports day, or if there's a spelling test where everyone's scores get stuck on the wall. Adults don't have to deal with this. Why should kids?
I have no issue with extra curricular events that are competitive. They can be great in inspiring the kids who choose to attend. But at least nobody is being forced to get laughed at when they come last every time.

Agree but projects when parents go the whole thing are a bit pointless!

Oh come on, we had an Easter egg competition at primary school and it was always the teachers pet kids who had parental help that one. I was always a bit miffed that I never won, but you know, I’ve got over it. Christ on a bike, it’s no wonder kids have no resilience nowadays.

I agree that school competitions shouldn’t rely on parental input, but even when they don’t, some kids who are just crap at craft or story writing or whatever will never win those competitions. That’s life. What good would it do to teach kids they can win, even when they’re crap at something. What would be the point of working to get better at something if the people who are crap at it get the same rewards? Completely bonkers race to the bottom.

If it's parents doing the art - like it is where we live -for the kids whose parents do not have the time, resources and inclination it just highlights how different their lives are - it doesn't make them more resilient...if that was the case the poorest kids in the country would be the most resilient - they use this to rise up - don't see it happening in great numbers - or do we need to neglect them a bit more?

I think competition is good for children to build their resilience. Don't necessarily think reception and Year 1 but probably Year 2 onwards. My Foster son excels at sports. It's all he's good at though. He went to a school where he was not given many opportunities to shine. In sports lessons for ex as mple rounder match class got split into 2 with him and all children who could not hit ball or catch on one team and more able but not exceptional children in other team. After a while he stopped bothering and did not try. Teachers spoke to me about it is at Parents Evening. He was with me. They said as he grows older and in real life he can't just not try. He replied in real life I play in a team where all players are very good. He plays county level at cricket. Swims for large town and has won many Aquathlons including county series for his county. At school they would not even let him bowl overarm in cricket despite only using a tennis ball. He said in Sport at school there was nothing for him. Non competitive Sports days with no individual running races and when team events Teachers always made him in team with least abled pupils. In first year of secondary he was picked for cross country against other schools and he won. After that year his school did not attend inter school competitions. Yet in other subjects children are set according to ability and no one bats an eyelid. In last year of primary child who won Sports award given it because used to help teacher tidy up equipment during break. That was stated at Prize Giving. At the time he had just won 2 Aquathlons in last month and been selected to play for county at cricket, which school knew about. My Foster son was furious. He won 2 awards that meant so little to him he threw them in the bin on the way out of school. He won 100 percent attendance award and Class Form award for helping other children. He said child who won Sports award was really rubbish at Sport yet according to school programme they were attainment awards not effort ones. He's at college now studying Sport and loving playing with others on his course who are all good at Sport.

It is called life. You win some and you lose some.

When DD was 3 she won the Easter bonnet competition by wearing an empty box with some sweet wrappers and stickers stuck to it. most of the children were sporting bonnets that could only have been made by an artistic prodigy of a 3 year old.

I do think that these sorts of competitions should be won by entries that are genuinely created by children. And, not required for children to do something that might be beyond them.

I could be mistaken but in DD's school it's always the same kids winning everything. I don't mind the sports ones as at least with those there are objective criteria but I really wonder about the subjective ones like arts and crafts and the ones that kids do at home. I always insist that DD does them mostly herself as what's the point otherwise and often I cannot see how the winning entry was in any way better than or sometimes even as good as DDs though I am biased of course.
Dd's classmate's parent is a teacher in the school. They are very sporty so win most of the sports competitions anyway but they also always get prizes in all the arts competitions and the end of year "best student in the class" (or something like that. I've got no idea what the criteria is for that but I think it's to award effort) and major roles in the school plays. Parents I know in other years say the same about teachers kids being favoured. It's a private school and many teachers have kids studying there so maybe that is why there is so much nepotism. I don't know. I try to tell myself that I'm just imagining it as I do like the teachers a lot but it's getting a bit too obvious.

DD being end of August born is very unlikely to win anything for a few years. I wouldn't mind at all but it really gets to her sometimes.

I wish they'd just get rid of all the competitions. I don't think it prepares for real life at all. In real life you need to be good enough to do your job or achieve your goals or whatever else it is you have to do. It's rarely just about being better than someone else (except maybe when it comes to getting a job). I'd rather teach children Intrinsic motivation and how to give something their best even when there are no prizes to be won and no accolades.

Competition is fine and healthy, parent-produced craft projects are not.

Yeah I agree with this. As I said above, my DD is born end of August and is tiny even for her age. She always comes last. However, I think, it's fair enough because at least she can see that the other kids were faster and in front of her.

She is really good at drawing and crafts and very imaginative and puts a crazy amount of effort into the arts competitions but never gets prizes there either because they are so subjective. I wish they didn't have competitions for these as it's difficult to explain what she could do better or why she never wins.

I know some kids have to be the losers in competitions and it is just something to get used to but when out of 12 kids (small independent school) you never win anything and don't even know why then I do think that can affect your self esteem.

Completely agree with this.

The school where I work focuses heavily on nurturing children and one of our core values in that everyone brings something of value to our community. Across school we try to have various opportunities for everyone to shine so that it's not always the same kids.

And yes, on sports day everyone gets something. The children are in mixed age and ability teams and complete in teams. The winning team gets the school trophy and an extra playtime that Friday then everyone who takes part gets a participation prize of a pencil or a little bag of sweets or a plastic medal on a ribbon, whatever the PTA has put together.

I agree competitive things should be done in class to give an equal chance. Fine to learn winning and losing and how to deal with disappointment, but “my mam made a better Easter bonnet than your dad so I won a prize” doesn’t have much of a message. I appreciate class time is already very busy as it is though so teachers probably can’t win.