How the fuck do you improve attendance

[Merryoldgoat]

I’ve had the delightful LA attendance officer letting me know my son’s attendance is 85%.

I KNOW. I’m the one looking after him.

How am I supposed to stop him getting ill? I’d love to know.

I’m just sick of it. We’re juggling two autistic children, a full time job and I get this officious letter implying I’m keeping him off under false pretences.

It’s such a stupid blunt instrument.

I’m angry and tired and just sick of it.

I have no AIBU. It’s just the rant of an exhausted parent. DH is also exhausted in case anyone is wondering.

We have 5 children, so we have bugs brought into the house constantly with school and nursery. It’s difficult as if one has something like norovirus you feel bad sending the others in when they might be infectious but aren’t yet symptomatic. If my children are sick I always keep them off though- obviously not sniffles or anything though.

at the end of the last school year my eldest had an issue with migraines- so he missed some school here and there when he had bad days with them, while he got used to the new medication etc. I just explained to the school and kept them updated on how he was getting on with hospital appointments etc and they were fine with it.

It’s a bit shit isn’t it 😩

Letting it rip was just an appalling decision.

My DC attendance is around 65%, also ASD, unwell all the time plus days off due to mental health and anxiety. I rang the LA and she was great once I'd explained everything. I've asked for a leniency plan to be put in place for my child and she was happy to do this. I'd email them and request a conversation with the LA and the SENCO at school. Also I've got a diary and I write down every time my DC has a day off and what for. Helps for documentation when talking about why they were off.

It's easier said than done but try not to take it to heart, the school has responsibilities, especially in terms of safeguarding and thus really have to be seen to be acknowledging a potential problem. That's not to say it will turn into a big thing. Your reaction in itself shows you are a caring parent that is affected by this. It could be worth requesting a meeting with school to discuss and see if they have any concerns or suggestions (though I doubt it)

To the person that said they're not disputing you can have 10 days off but this is a lot in the short time - 15% absence is 15%, so 15% of 6 months in 6 months not 15% of a year in 6 months. Considering this is also over the worst period for illness and immunity is generally down amongst many thanks to Covid (either after effects or being away from people for so long) it doesn't seem that unreasonable, particularly where the kid has ASD which affects immunity. My kid isn't at school yet but the nursery in the last few months has had several rounds of norovirus, chicken pox, strep A and that's on top of all the other random viruses. We've managed to avoid many of them but when there's this much sickness going around it's impossible to avoid them all, particularly for a child that is more susceptible

Just to change the subject my son (now grown up) really wanted to go to school but he was diagnosed with ADHD before schools had a policy on it so he was excluded a lot no schoolwork ever given doomed to fail headmaster a bully child pyschiatrist concerned about heads attitude Schools did care about children excluded if they had special needs

I think it's sensible to accept there is nothing you can do.
Remember the school and EW are dealing with families who do keep healthy children at home.
You are not their target.

No if he were I’ll constantly he’d be on 0% attendance - he’s on 85.
My eldest is the same, in this term alone he’s had two streaming headcolds with a temperature and the vomiting bug.

I really feel for you.

Two of my kids have poor immune systems - one has a diagnosed auto immune disease, and their health was really bad for 2 years before they were diagnosed - thankfully they hadn't started school yet, but they saw so many doctors in those 2 years, and I kept getting fobbed off.

Every year, both kids would each have between 30 - 40 days off school, due to illness, but I was lucky that it was never questioned by the kids school - might have helped that I was often at the school helping out, and was known by many staff members. Plus I don't live in the UK. It would have been so more stressful if I was told to improve their attendance - I would have had no choice but to bring them to school vomiting.

One of my kids is prone to ear infections and fevers, and would vomit at the start of the infection. There were a couple of times I'd sent them back to school after having a week off with a ruptured ear drum. Found out later on that their teacher kept them inside the classroom over the recess and lunch breaks, because my child was too sickly to go out in the cold weather - their teacher sacrificed their own breaks, and stayed to supervise my child. I would have kept my child home another week if I'd known - the cold air outside would have made their ear hurt.

With another child - they would get bad hayfever. I sent them back to school after a few days off - their teacher allowed them to stay inside during recess and lunch. They were too miserable and sneezy to do school work during class time, so the teacher allowed them to sit on the couch in the classroom, and they didn't have to do school work. If I'd known about that, I also would have kept them home longer.

I have made so many trips to the doctors, to see if there was an underlying cause - countless blood tests. One doctor told me that some kids just get sicker than the rest.

They must have underlying health issues that you need to report to the school. Our kids normally maybe max 4 days off per school year on average. 85 % suggests there are some unusual issues.

Don't think autism is 'unusual'.

Just ignore it! Winter term is always full of colds and stomach bugs!
my daughter is on 55% attendance because transition to seniors has gone poorly and she’s had days where anxiety has literally paralysed her. We’ve spoken with the attendance officer about it, explained her stress levels and how the anxiety is then making her throw up .. she then hers sent home and excluded for 48 hours!….
All I can suggest is that you keep records… write on your calendar DC1 off school with flu. DC2 - stomach bug…. DC1 gp app’ etc
Atkeast that way if they do call you out for anything you have very clear records of why they were off.But I think it’s just a paper exercise, They have to send them out to everyone under a certain percentage. Just recycle it and move on

And before I get abuse - I am working very closely with school to transition daughter and get her settled… it’s a battle some days but she is getting there… she’s had 3 weeks without a day off and she’s getting help with her anxiety. Senior school is apparently a scary place these days …

So many ASD kids may well rely of routine and structure but schools in general are big noisy smelly busy places which are sensory overload for many more.
My dd often falls to low 80’s and I respond to these letters by asking them to congratulate her for making it and staying in school as often as she can.
The complex needs of ASD kids are woefully lacking in high schools.

Let’s just assume your kids at not autistic

I just wanted to say OP you are not alone. We had the parents of twins take their kids out of our school because of the attendance letter. Many others are in similar situations to yours where they are doing all they can to keep their children in school as much as they can and these letters feel like a kick in the shins, despite all the effort you've put in.
Schools are being pushed by LAs to give a clear message to parents about attendance and I think in many cases are caught in the middle. If you're doing everything you can reasonably do to keep your kids in school, give yourself a pat on the back and let school know you'll be continuing to do this as best you can, with hope for a more healthy period.
I think there's something in our immune systems still being in recovery post Covid restrictions - many more bugs this winter period and more of us being taken out by then. Add to this we've lots of people in crisis not being able eat or heat their homes properly. This is going to have an impact on people's health.
That said I have also overheard conversations in the playground of parents who are not ensuring their kids are in school when they should be and I wonder if this is a growing trend e.g. he wasn't really feeling like school last week, we had to take them out for a few days as that's when the flights were, they missed a few days as we had to rebook a trip to Chessington and that was the only dates they had. This is the kind of behaviour which might have been in the minority before and now seems to be in the mainstream. Certainly in some cases can mean you've got classes of kids where the attainment levels are stretched and it's getting increasingly difficult to meet the educational needs of all the kids in the class. If people are behaving like this and could have avoided it, it means genuine cases like your DC OP are not getting the support they should do as the support is now spread so thinly!

Just calm down. It’s because of the deaths of neglected and abused children like Kaylea Titford…where during her last month of life her mum personally lied to the school saying she had a tummy ache or was anxious about bullying when the truth was that Kaylea had been confined to bed for five months with no help to the toilet, no being washed, no changes of clothes or bedding, lying in feces and urine with maggots feasting on her open bed sores while she was alive.

Killer parents slowly murdering their disabled child also contact the school…the fact you do doesn’t mean they know your child is safe.

Id not get angry, you have nothing to hide and frankly ALL parents should be inviting any authorities round to see your child. The only way we are going to save children’s lives is to not be so bloody offended when authorities are only trying to ensure all children are safe.

@Merryoldgoat ’I have no issue with the school. It’s the LA who have sent the letter.’
But we have to answer to the DfE. Pressure is from the top about safeguarding, attendance data.

Again, this is bollocks. If a perfectly healthy child catches covid, a sickness bug and chicken pox in a term then they will quite easily hit 85%

Absolutely! Our child had 2 sickness bugs and Scarlett fever. It’s just bad luck. They aren’t particularly sickly. Our other child happened to get it during school holidays. Pure luck which child’s attendance is absolutely fine and which is ‘persistently absent’.

I don’t know why the government gets so involved in attendance targets. Kids who barely attend school or parents who facilitate skiving are only doing themselves harm not anyone else so government should butt out. It should be between the school and the parents only because the school knows the family situation best.

Agree with dramallma20. Boost his immune system with supplements.
Then have a talk with him about germ transmission. supply him with hand sanitiser and tell him when to use it (after touching surfaces other people have touched particularly in the toilets. Explain about keeping his distance from people who are coughing and sneezing. Getting a boy to do this is difficult - perhaps save the lecture till next time he is vomiting!!

this is not legal

Luckily things have changed a great deal since then thank goodness . I’m sorry your son had it so hard :-(

😯😯 at receptionist lying, I think I’d demand to record all interactions with school staff after that!

I am from a country where attendance isn’t chased at all and doesn’t affect state school budgets etc, I find the British state school system of being overly concerned about attendance very detached from the actual well being of pupils and families.

The girl who was present only about 25% of the time at school in my childhood ended up being the top student in the whole school and went to a top uni. Her retired grandma was looking after her during school days and she was essentially home-schooled with the school getting all the recognition for her success 🙂, worked for everyone 😁

And if you are home schooling in this country you can do whatever you like and there’s no government support or quality control whatsoever 🤔(as far as I can tell from knowing some homeschooling families)

I am from a country where attendance isn’t chased at all and doesn’t affect state school budgets etc, I find the British state school system of being overly concerned about attendance very detached from the actual well being of pupils and families.

This in spades.