How the fuck do you improve attendance

[Merryoldgoat]

I’ve had the delightful LA attendance officer letting me know my son’s attendance is 85%.

I KNOW. I’m the one looking after him.

How am I supposed to stop him getting ill? I’d love to know.

I’m just sick of it. We’re juggling two autistic children, a full time job and I get this officious letter implying I’m keeping him off under false pretences.

It’s such a stupid blunt instrument.

I’m angry and tired and just sick of it.

I have no AIBU. It’s just the rant of an exhausted parent. DH is also exhausted in case anyone is wondering.

@slightlyslumamama

You didn’t seriously think the OP wanted any helpful suggestions did you? She’s just here for the dramatics over a formality. 6 weeks off
school isn’t going to be ignored is it, let’s face it.

I have these all the time.

I asked them where shall I send the children on the strike days. They didn't have an answer.

Mum 1 - School 0.

Yes. This. The percentages are accumulative. So OP’s 85% is actually only 85% of the days they could have attended up to now. If the child attends every day now til the summer that will improve the attendance percentage. If your child attends the first week of school then is absent the second week of school due to something the computer would likely flag them as 50% !!

My DD’s school used to show you the % on the online parent portal for your child. My DD (autistic) liked checking hers to make sure it was 100%. She was very upset though as the week before Xmas in y7 they gave out awards for 100% and she never got one. She hadn’t been off so came home devastated (yes it sounds dramatic but she’s autistic). Turned out that she was late back to registration one afternoon after lunch as she was in their medical room (she has medical issues and has set times to visit the medical room). The supply teacher didn’t know this and marked her absent. We got it corrected but she never did receive an award. And 3 years later still goes on about it. They then changed the award system after Covid to 100% in a term got all got put in a prize draw for a chance of a prize. So she still never got lucky enough to get pulled out of the hat!! Oh and we frequently contact the school to correct her attendance % and she still gets teachers marking her absent when she’s at the medical room and they’re supply or covering colleagues.

I hate attendance awards and sanctions. It’s increased my DD’s anxiety as she’s an autistic rule follower so will go into school unless she knows it’s something that requires isolation period. She also seems to mostly get ill in the school holidays - same as me the teacher. Power through then crash.

but what annoys me the most is the school and also posters on here saying see how the school can help, the meetings are to help etc…. Unless they’ve got a cure for these illnesses then they’re not!

Exactly, if only the school could have waved a magic wand and reduced the waiting list for a consultant appointment - they did try by writing to GP but the lists move so slowly.

Some children are stuck between education and the NHS, two broken systems.

It is great if your child's migraine can be fixed with a couple of paracetamol, but some can't. Fortunately dc's school often sees the impact of the migraines and knows what is going on, so hasn't been sent on to the council, but it doesn't stop the letters.

I hate those attendance letters. When my child was in year 4 I had some treatment for a minor cancer and he dealt with his anxiety about this by being sick. School would sent him home refuse to let him back for 72 hours. I eventually took him to GP to insist he went back to school the day after as he was missing out so much and absolutely fine after he vomited.
I then had an attendance letter. I can still remember how upset I was and that was some years ago

I get it OP. DC school have started sending them out for nursery too, no idea why as they aren’t even at compulsory school age. They have invited me for a meeting as we’re at 76%.

just ride it out OP

Thing is, for every genuinely unwell child, there is another who is off on a week's holiday in term time, but has had a parent call in 'sick'.
We see daily reports of reasons for absence and they are shocking reading.
'Has her period'; 'conjunctivitis'; 'cough'; 'tired' are some I recall from this week alone.

While it feels unfair to you as you know your child is genuinely unwell, this policy is aimed at parents who view school as optional and do not give their children a fighting chance of a decent education.

@Misslings

comprehension failure again? He hasn’t been off for 6 weeks, has he?

www.autism.org/immune-system-function-autism/

Government set these standards wi t h no consideration of disabilities/vulnerabilities at all. I'm like you, except I was widowed when the kids were 13 & 14 - hubby had been ill following an operation for 2 years beforehand but we never expected him to die.

I had a huge fight about my son (ASD), he became suicidal and they taught him at home 3 hours a week! His attendance was 50%. He was bullied, in the wrong set (too low) and I was the bad parent!

@HereBeFuckery Has her period some girls have really awful periods, combined with some schools policies on not letting them access appropriate facilities, for some girls that might be appropriate. Likewise there is 'tired' because of staying up late on the xbox and then there is tired because of thyroid / anaemia/ other issues which can be truly debilitating leading to brain fog and confusion. I am sure as a medical professional though you are well aware of the difference.

@Unexpecteddrivinginstructor sure - that was my point.
There are kids who are genuinely sick - usually the same ones who ask for work to catch up and keep up with the curriculum.

Then there are the 'tired (because have no boundaries around devices/gaming)'/ 'has her period (and doesn't like school so it's a good enough excuse to fob off Dad who doesn't like talking about women's health so would rather call in sick for daughter than tackle her about the importance of school and not missing it every month)'/'cough(ing slightly and has an indulgent parent who thinks this is an illness)' students who don't. That's why we monitor attendance, and send letters. It's not aimed at the first group.

Honestly, you would not believe the reasons some people will keep their kids off school. One boy I teach took the afternoon off, arranged by mum, to get his hair permed.

Schools can't pick and choose who to chase about attendance. I get that it's frustrating for parents of genuinely sick kids. It's incredibly frustrating for teachers who have classes of kids who don't come to school and still feel entitled to GCSEs. I can't help a student progress from a Grade 1 to a Grade 5 if I see them less than 50% of the time. I just can't.

And happy Friday to you too!

@Merryoldgoat

If you were to believe a lot of their research you would believe that autism is usually sparked by a lot of environmental triggers? Potentially so (but an unpopular opinion here on mumsnet). So in a way yes it’s the gift that keeps on giving. On another thread someone is slating a headteacher for wearing PJs as weird, and that’s totally fine cos they have autism and stop being so unempathetic.

There seriously needs to be a rethink on certain labels. It’s a catch all excuse for everything now and a really disservice to those in society who are genuinely autistic.

All the time ???

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4750077-severe-autismcan-we-talk-about-it

Awesome thanks.

Weapons grade evidence.

I see what you're saying but can I just counter this by saying:

• a friend of mine at school used to get periods so bad that she fainted

• conjunctivitis is highly contagious and if it's really bad can cause fever and loss of vision

• a cough can be so bad that a child is struggling for breath and disrupting other children (I know many kids that have been sent home from school with a bad cough)

There's always a spectrum with these things and it's difficult to get this across with a quick absence message.

People read head lines, copy what's being said by those in official roles etc without really thinking things over.

Some children will obviously be more ill than their peers. We are not all the same. Parents should not be penalised when they decide what is best for their child.

DS2's school now only authorise 24hrs after D&/orV, despite the NHS guidelines saying 48 hours. I can't help but think this is a very short-sighted approach.

My kid was off for nine days with conjunctivitis once. Thankfully the consultant who prescribed this gave us a sick note for school.

Fucking hell

I know @cornflakegeneration

I can’t be arsed.