How the fuck do you improve attendance

[Merryoldgoat]

I’ve had the delightful LA attendance officer letting me know my son’s attendance is 85%.

I KNOW. I’m the one looking after him.

How am I supposed to stop him getting ill? I’d love to know.

I’m just sick of it. We’re juggling two autistic children, a full time job and I get this officious letter implying I’m keeping him off under false pretences.

It’s such a stupid blunt instrument.

I’m angry and tired and just sick of it.

I have no AIBU. It’s just the rant of an exhausted parent. DH is also exhausted in case anyone is wondering.

Wouldn't it make more sense to look at absences over a yearly period rather than every week?

My dcs school seem to spend a lot of time sending out letters, the head having meetings over legitimate absence. It's a waste of time when their time could be put to better use.

Absolutely this. And child a might be getting sent in to avoid the letters and child b suffers and gets said letters.

my child is child b in these scenarios. Has a weaker immune system and chronic lung disease. She has been hospitalised with the common cold on many occasions.

the letter we we received was very punitive, condescending and rude which has now been amended following my complaint.
but what annoys me the most is the school and also posters on here saying see how the school can help, the meetings are to help etc…. Unless they’ve got a cure for these illnesses then they’re not! It was a load of rubbish, literally 0 outcome from it as she is going to get Ill and take longer to recover nothing can be done. What a waste of time, so they send the letters with no intention of helping many.
those shocked at 85% just don’t have a child that gets as ill and also doesn’t want to be the child of parent a making the rest of the class ill, for the fear of ‘getting in trouble’ and then making child b ill again. It’s a vicious cycle with no solution

I really wouldn't worry. You can't do anything about an ill child. Making him go and feel awful won't help his relationship with his teachers or his attitude to school.

Also, as someone with an autistic child who's now out of school, once DC started struggling and attendance dropping, we had meetings, oh so many meetings, Early Help (far too late...) Pupil Attendance Support Team, the lot. All supportive and helpful, but overall couldn't help my DC as it was too late. We had attendance go from 96%, to 51% one half term, 56% the next, 28% the next then zero... no letters 🤷‍♀️

I have 2 DC who can and do attend school with no attendance difficulties, including the child awaiting autism assessment.

Totally agree that all those sending ill DC in dosed up on paracetamol and spreading their germs doesn't help general attendance.

I’m so sorry for the situation you are in. It sounds like you are a good parent who is more than doing your best and these things just cannot be helped.

The school letter just gives anxiety to the parent and puts you under pressure , of course you would prefer that your child is at school and well. If the school has concerns about the attendance being low and not genuine surely the school should approach you directly.

Wishing you and the child a bug free few months.

Yep 3 of my DC have similar attendance at the moment. There was a horrible D&V bug that they had and they kept passing it back to each other so in total had almost 2 weeks off. To make it clear it wasn't 2 weeks of complete diarrhoea and vomiting from all 3 of them but because of the 48 hour rule I couldn't send them back and then in that time they caught it from each other again!

Probably not - because she's seriously ill. We are in the same boat - ds is currently enjoying his 22nd night in hospital since last September - and I've had no official queries about his attendance at all. Assume the school is running interference.

Remember, this isn't your school or your child's teacher. They have DfE guidance to follow and pressure on them about attendance.

Ultimately this is on the back of national drop on kids going to school, post pandemic, about keeping children safe and about best opportunity.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/working-together-to-improve-school-attendance

And more recently

www.gov.uk/government/publications/mental-health-issues-affecting-a-pupils-attendance-guidance-for-schools

Have a read though, may help.

Poor guy 🥺

Yep my niece is a teacher and she often says that teachers really do not want unwell kids sent in for the reasons you've stated.

Had this with DS, his included a stint in hospital with COVID, two stomach operations and several asthma attacks. When I rang the school to explain they said that it was an auto generated letter and therefore even though they knew his absences were genuine and hopefully not ongoing that they needed to be seen to be investigating it.

@cornflakegeneration

I work with teachers every day. They would much prefer kids to be in who aren’t actually that ill. Constant time off means they fall behind and their workload actually increases as they try and bring them back up to speed again.

FGS I'm just repeating what my niece said about herself and her colleagues

The LA shouldn't be saying any further absences won't be authorised unless medical evidence- the DfE guidelines cover this (only if reasonable to believe the absence isn't genuine, so I would challenge it). The education side has expectations of health that aren't realistic - a discussion I keep having over DS2. Resources are stretched enough without unnecessary demands for medical notes when the school/LA is still going to be aggressive even when they've be given everything possible.
I'm so glad he is Yr11!

@cornflakegeneration I don't really understand your point. All of those examples of parents I gave will ring and say their child is unwell with this bug or that headache. They don't just say they're keeping them at home. Some will also wring their hands and tell school they're at the end of their tether and attend the meetings and say they just want their child to be in school and it's all total bullshit.

Maybe people like that aren't in your circles, but I'll bet just about every school has a family like the one i describe.

You could turn it around on the LA by thanking them for their concern and asking them about the education they are going to provide your ill child to ensure his low attendance does not harm his education. They should have sorted something out as soon as he missed (or was expected to miss) at least 15 days in a year due to illness. Those days don't have to be consecutive, or be caused by the same medical issue. You should have been given the contact information for the named LA staff member who is responsible for that. In many cases, if the illness is not having a negative impact, it will be appropriate simply to monitor the education. Are they doing that? Your contact may also be able to help get the LA attendance people to stop hassling you.

assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/941900/health_needs_guidance_accessible.pdf

Forgive me if I'm teaching Grandma to suck eggs here; maybe you already know all that.

Yes but they're not "keeping them home with a sniffle". They are lying about the reason their child is absent (if I'm understanding you correctly)

My children are both on the autistic spectrum and I have found that the one who struggles socially gets easily burnt out by school and sometimes just can’t face going in. I give them wellbeing days off to recharge when that happens and I feel that their long term and short term mental health is more important than some statistical threat. I feel your pain and you sound to be listening more to your child than the LA which he/she will appreciate in the long term I’m sure.

Responses like this really wind me up (I’m in the same position as OP).

YES I know that my child has been ill for a huge amount of time over winter

YES I know that this is unusual

YES I am worried and upset about it

YES I have asked the doctor, many times, if they can help or suggest anything

NO the doctor cannot help

YES I have had full blood work done on my child

Just because your child has an above-average immune system doesn’t mean that there’s anything surprising about some children having below-average immune systems. Maybe go look up the word average in a dictionary.

OP just ignore them, DS had perfect attendance until October half term.

We are down to 84% as he has had, Scarlett fever, COVID isolation as he had a fever and they have a 48hour policy once sent home so missed three days, noro (ended up as a week off) followed by some weird stomach bug that had him in agony for 48 hours until he was finally sick. I ended up saying next time I'll just send him in to puke in class or skip the wasted 48 hours. Head had the cheek so say ohh no we don't want him back during that time but he still needs to improve his attendance 🤔

By the time spring comes and it average out I bet he's above 95% but looking at it per half term doesn't help over winter

@cornflakegeneration they're lying or exaggerating about the reason for their child being off school. Sometimes it's a sniffle, sometimes it could be nothing at all.

My point is that nobody knows who is genuine. So the theory that society should just trust parents unconditionally and organisations with responsibility for these children should just back off and accept everything they're told without ever exercising any scepticism, is sadly opening children up to neglect.

Unfortunately, this means that many genuine families feel scrutinised, and I definitey feel there is a way of having these conversations to show parents that school just wants to be supportive. But being too easy going doesn't help the children who are in bad situations.

It’s slightly comforting to see others are having the same struggle on here, my DD has had croup twice this winter and coughs that last weeks among many other bugs/illnesses.

At her first ever parents evening in October the teacher said she wasn’t judging me for keeping her off but as a result DD was behind. Which did feel like she was judging! So I obviously felt pressure to send her in even when she was unwell and my instinct said she should be curled up at home. Two weeks later she made a comment when I picked her up that she had a bad cough and perhaps should not be in. It feels like you cannot win at times.

I am so embarrassed at work because genuinely it feels like every week I have to either WFH or fit in a doctors appointment or take annual leave to look after one of my kids, then have the dread of coming down with their illness too or being off work sick myself. It’s relentless and draining. My kids eat well, exercise, they are healthy weights and happy. They just seem to be catching every bastard cough, cold and bug going this winter! It’s my DD’s first year of school. Praying year 1 is better. Thankfully I have an amazing boss who is about 15 years ahead of me parenting wise and says she went through the exact same with her two children and shows me incredible empathy and understanding.

We have our second parents’ evening next week, today DD1 went in to class and was sick on another child! So god knows what this one will be like…I feel another telling off coming..!

Some have multiple families like the one you describe 🤭

@cornflakegeneration

Repeat it all you like I’m simply just giving an opposing view…. On a discussion board 🤷‍♀️.

And goodness me you’re not being very helpful!

I can see it from a parent’s side and a teachers side . One lot of parents have a child who is sick often, through no fault of their own. They get a letter like the OP was sent , they get defensive , angry, come on here asking what they are meant to do about it.
Another parent , can’t be bothered to send their child to school, let’s them stay at home if they want or, worse, wants them to, to help on a farm or around the house , or as a carer or keep them company or they can’t be bothered to get up with them . They get the same letter , they think, oglh gosh, I’d better send my kid to school or I may get into trouble .
Teacher . Prepares all lessons thoroughly , builds skills and learning one after the other, level by level, you need the first to be able to do the second . Child absent from school constantly . Learns the frost bit , misses the second , teacher tries to help them, they come for the third and just about understand, , miss the fourth and fifth….. their learning rapidly starts suffering because it’s like building blocks and they don’t understand. The teacher has 30 children in the class, is exhausted too, working late at night trying to make lessons for the children who often have behavioural problems in class because they’ve missed lessons and so cannot understand ……

so yes, it’s a good thing the letters are sent out … even if your child is ill, there may be five others out there who aren’t really .