To think this is just mums being competitive rather than a real issue?

[Username24680]

We (2 year old and I) attended a new playgroup this week. I usually work that day so haven’t been to that one before. In a neighbouring town so lots of mums and kids that we hadn’t met before.

Got chatting to a group of mums with toddlers roughly the same age. Maybe about 30 mins into the group they started questioning DSs speech. He’s definitely “advanced” (if that’s even a thing!) at speech compared to most others his age that we know. He is able to hold a fairly good conversation, speaks in sentences and his words are really quite clear (most other adults that we’ve come into contact with can have a conversation with him - it’s not just a case of “mum understands what he means”).

I’ve never really thought anything of it - kids all do things at their own pace 🤷🏻‍♀️ Talking just seems to be his ‘thing’ 🤷🏻‍♀️

The other mums were questioning if he’s being assessed for autism 🙄🙄 apparently they’d been told (no idea who by!) that “advanced” speech is usually a sign of “something being not quite right” (their words, not mine!).

Is this a thing?! It would never cross my mind to question someone else (especially someone I’d just met!) over their child’s abilities to be honest so I’m torn between it being a genuine concern or it being cliquey mums being a bit bitchy as their children weren’t talking as much!

My 7yo was advanced with his speech, his speech was so clear at 2. Especially in comparison to my 2.5yo, who barely said anything at 2 and says loads at 2.5 now, but still says lots of gibberish. No autism as far as I know, but he has been referred for an ADHD assessment.

however I don’t think this correlates with his speech. He is just naturally pretty bright, even now he’s exceeds expectations in many school subjects. Just happens to potentially have ADHD. Sounds like jealousy to me!

I think I would look vaguely round and mutter something about poorly developed social skills before leaving for ever.

My DS was fluent in conversation at 18m. He's 7 now and not autistic but currently bring investigated for ADHD. He spoke at 9 months and has never stopped to take a breath since.

DS3 was much slower to speak and the HV gently let me know that this was normal speech development.

I am familiar with this from a professional context. There is an American child who periodically pops up in the 'suggested' section of my social media who seems to have become internet famous for her precocious speech, which her parents film and share. It is blindingly obvious that there is something going on with the child and it adds a whole extra layer to the ethical problem of consent with very small children and social media.

WRT the OP, however, those people sound awful. I'd try another toddler group!

My DD had very advanced speech as a 2 year old. She isn't autistic. Speech was just 'her thing' - there was plenty of other stuff for that she was bang on time for, and as expected some where she was a little behind the curve. She's now 7, and speech is very much still 'her thing'😂

DS was an early, precocious talker. His vocabulary was very advanced, but like others have mentioned, there was a lot of echolalia and randomness as opposed to meaningful conversation. He was diagnosed with ASD at 7. At 12 he’s still extremely articulate, especially when he’s monologuing about trains (ah, the joys of the autistic info-dump! It’s actually a sign of affection but it sure can be tedious 😂)

Anyway, the people at the toddler group seem very rude and overfamiliar. Ignore and enjoy your little boy’s conversation skills.

Absolutely

what a coven of bitches! Ignore them @Username24680 they probably spend more time on their phones and “making memories” on the gram than speaking with their kids so the kids aren’t learning to speak

Yes I've heard this. In the cases of 2 autistic children I know as well, they both started talking very early and in advanced sentences, before regressing later on.

However, I'd wager there are even more kids who started talking early, with no issues down the line! It's regression, not positive developments, that you/all parents need to keep an eye out for. It's crazy that they would mention it at all, as there's no real cause for concern at the moment; in fact, if there was an actual cause for concern, they probably would think it too sensitive or tactless to mention. It does sound like jealousy.

The whole world will have autism soon..... I cannot for the life of me understand why we've become so hellbent on diagnosing every child with a serious and permanent developmental disorder when there's the slightest deviation from the norm (even when it's a positive deviation)

So you go to a new playgroup and within half an hour or so ( just guessing 🤷‍♀️ ) people you've never met before are asking if your child has been tested for Autism?!!!!!

Words fail me OP. Ignorant, toxic and frankly outrageous behaviour.

They are not nice people. You can find better more positive places for your DC to spend his time. Don't spend another minute around people like this.

Hopefully your concerns about your son have been addressed on here but ultimately find an environment where jealous people don't self sooth by taking pot shots at you via your lovely DC.

They sound ludicrous.

If it helps, the two very early talkers in my family (dbro and my Dd) have turned out to have a good facility for foreign languages too. Markedly more so than those of us who started talking at a more average age.

Insecurity on their part. If it’s mentioned again just smile and say “thanks, I’m not worried” and carry on playing with your son.

Your kid is just smarter than theirs 😃

They are just jealous. And don't worry! My children were both way past the 'expected' language acquisition at 2, to the point that people were quite surprised, and neither are autistic nor have any other neurodiversity diagnoses. Kids do stuff at their own rate, as you say! What horrible mums though - mean!

Communication is the the issue, not speech. For example a 2yo who could say ‘what wonderful weather today’ but can’t ask for a drink likely has more of an issue than a 2yo who waves his cup and says ‘Dink’ and the 2yo who says ‘could I have a drink please mummy’

My elder one with ?ASD had mildly delayed speech but still normal range but he couldn’t ask for a drink until he was 5 and still can’t make direct requests for many things or communicate his needs and wishes clearly. His language use is odd even though he has a massive vocabulary and reasonably clear speech. He can’t have a two way conversation easily at 6. If you ask him a question, you’ll often get a non relevant monologue in response. Speech is fine, communication isn’t.

My younger one on the other hand was always advanced in speech, people would comment on it in shops but it was always functional and conversational. She used why at an appropriate age (the other one didn’t master why questions until past five) I don’t think she’s autistic and partly that’s because her communication is so good.

I'd smile sweetly and say 'It's also a sign of intelligence too'

I don't think children being delayed in speech necessarily means they aren't being interacted with well (I talked and played relentlessly with mine and she was always slightly behind/average with expressive language but pretty ahead with receptive and has caught up well now) However I think it's rare for a child to be ahead with their social and communication skills if they haven't had lots of positive interaction and stimulation from their caregivers so well done OP! I think you need to give yourself a pat on the back and ignore these mums unless you yourself are concerned

mine was a talker but was more delayed with his physical development. The autism comment is just not right there is more likely to be a delay. Just ignore them and enjoy your chats with your little one!

It's the middle class advantage that leads to good exam results. However it's possible that brains that prioritise speech lose the ability to process non verbal social cues. A lot of early speech and some social awkwardness in my family. OTOH possible you've just spent less time on your phone than other mums

It's perfectly normal for a 2 year old to be able to have a conversation. No need to be concerned. I agree with other posters, other mums you have met are being insensitive, rude, bitchy, unkind and frankly they should keep their ill-informed opinions to themselves. Stay away from chit-chat with these mums if you can, they won't improve.

You don’t say how many months in age your child is but for two years ..talking in sentences understandably is fine ..
i wouldn’t worry about Autism..
probably they have been looking at the internet too much which is full of videos of peoples kids who they are sure have autism etc
this makes everyone anxious and hyper aware
plus you don’t just take one aspect of development there should be more signs than that ..
i think it’s a terrible thing to say to someone also as it’s made you anxious and they are not your friends ..
try forget it and relax

This is a normal part of speech development
obviously if it carried on for years your would worry but on its own no

What an odd thing for them to say 🤔In all likelihood your son is just an early talker.

I'm autistic myself and was both a precocious talker and hyperlexic but, as someone else pointed out, I also had other signs of autism including some very obvious sensory issues. I don't think early talking alone is a signifier of autism.

My dd was exactly like this at that age, she's not autistic

They sound dreadful and it was inappropriate. Smile and wave, but avoid them.

In young kids I know with ASD, one hardly speaks, one uses extremely advanced words in an eccentric way with monologues rather than conversation and another has echolia and so could 'read' a book at a young age as they had memorised the words. There is a huge range and it would take a professional to diagnose. As a parent I always understood clear speech and holding a conversation as a positive.