My partner is not jealous at all

[Zamummy]

Would you feel unloved if your partner wasn't jealous? Is it a red flag or?

I am not here to offend anyone and I do apologise if anybody is offended. I was just wondering what others might think of the topic

'Testing him'?? You've watched too much Love Island mate.

I feel sorry for you OP as you've never experienced real love, which is why you think jealousy is the mark of it

Nobody is forced to read this thread and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

If your husband is such a cheating shit, why don't you just leave him instead of playing games. You know, act like a grown up.

I was just wondering what others might think of the topic 🤔
Well you've had over 100 replies saying all the same thing but it's not really getting through is it🙄

Bingo! Your ex (presumably for a reason) has left with you with a distorted idea of what a relationship is and what commitment is. Jealousy doesn’t exist in healthy relationships. ‘Thinking of testing him’ makes you sound like a drama addict. If you are leave this sane man alone and find an aggressive green eyed monster to satisfy your urge to be possessed 🙄 you have a lot of work to do on your self worth. Don’t have a relationship with anyone else until you have addressed that, you’ll only f up others.

I can’t believe you are 30 and coming out w this sh*te. Are you also a parent going by your username???? Grow up.

Assuming this thread is serious:

• Lack of jealousy/possessiveness/marking of territory isn’t a red flag at all, it’s completely healthy and normal
• Playing games, such as “testing” your partner, runs a high risk of permanently damaging the trust in your relationship and could end in you getting dumped
• Statistically, the kind of people who are “jealous” will probably not make desirable long-term partners
• If you feel unloved, ask yourself why; if the answer is valid (as in, you’d like to spend more time with your partner), bring it up in a constructive way (e.g., would you like to go to the park this weekend, I’d really love to spend more time with you)
• Maybe read up on healthy relationship dynamics

I’m kind of speechless.

'Assuming this thread is serious:'

Pretty convinced it's not.......

Thank you for your advice.

He is massively disrespecting you. Lots of red flags. You should block and ignore. Probably also run for the hills.
There, perfect Mumsnet answer.

This thread can’t be real.

He has cheated on you multiple times, yet you’re still with him and want to ‘test him’?

I call bullshit.

Love is irrational...

No. Love isn't.
You, on the other hand...

You certainly are. Honestly if you have kids what the hell are you playing at? What example are you giving them? Do you want them to grow up with the same f’d up expectations of what love is as you have? Also what is with the …

No jealousy on either side here, just love and trust. Why wouldn’t you want your partner to trust you? I find this post strange.

Have you got kids?

If so do you think that modelling a relationship where their mum is completely disrespected by a man cheating on her repeatedly is healthy for them?

Jealous of what though?
jealous of the dog, jealous of my success, jealous of other men, jealous of my ability to fall asleep anywhere?

Why would you want your partner to have negative traits?

I kind of understand where you’re coming from.

My ex would get jealous really easily (for example, if I went out with a male friend for food, if I was anywhere where a guy would be etc) and at the time I just thought ‘oh it’s because he cares about me and it’s how he shows that he’s protective.’ Turns out he was just a cunt.

The father of my kids was never, ever jealous. I used to think ‘does this guy not care about me or something?!’ but after time I realised that jealousy is never a good thing. My kid’s dad is secure in himself and always trusted me so he had no reason to be jealous.

I think it’s slightly different in your situation though OP. I can see that if your partner has cheated on you and shows no sign of ‘protecting his own’ then I can see how you translate that into thinking that he doesn’t care about you. That’s probably because of the fact that he’s cheated on you before. You could be wondering whether he doesn’t show any signs of jealousy (or in your words - care/love) because he’s focused on someone else.

I think there’s bigger problems at play here tbh

@Zamummy

Take a look back at your life in your birth family when you were growing up.

What were thee relationships like between your parents/caregivers, and between them and you?

These will be your relationship blueprint. This will be your 'normal' - even if it looks anything but normal to outsiders.

I have a feeling you were not modeled good, healthy relationships. I have a feeling that you're operating from a baseline that was abusive in one or more ways. If so, I'm sorry that's what you had to deal with.

And if so, you'll need help to find something more healthy. Therapy or counselling are great places to start. A jealous, cheating partner is not.

Kindly, you need to get help with your mental health. I've read your previous threads and in the last month - you've been living with your 'toxic' family and palming your child off to your mum so you can sleep until noon because your husband lives in another country and has cheated on you multile times, wanted to gain weight because your husband cheated with curvier women but can't afford food, became a single mum mid February and then by the end of February you were asking about contraception for post birth, and asking for advice on baby names. Now you're trying to 'test' your husband because he isn't jealous. Please stop this petty jealousy thing and get some help.

You understand my situation perfectly.

1. You shouldn't be doing thing a that make him jealous in the first place. What would he be jealous of? Do you have a crush on someone else? If it's something like that, then yabu to try to provoke him

1. People are acting wilfully stupid. If I a man has no jealous when there is good reason to be (cheating, crush on someone else), of course that's bloody odd- you should be jealous. Would seem like someone who's not invested or worried about losing you at all. That's definitely an issue.

1. And then we return to point no 1.: what would he be jealous of, unless you're doing something inappropriate?