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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to buy an expensive ring?

91 replies

noodlesofoodles · 01/03/2023 14:51

There is a jewellery brand that I love but I would never be able to afford any of the pieces (it’s all £1,000+). I keep an eye out on second hand sites for pieces being sold on (they rarely come up and are often not much cheaper than retail price) but yesterday found a ring by the brand that I love in my size for £250 - with the stones and design it looks like it would have originally been £1,500+. I know it’s real - the brand has a very distinct style and is too small/unknown for anyone to rip off (I’ve also looked at what else the seller has listed and it fits that it’s just someone with expensive clothes and accessories etc doing a clear out!)

AIBU to buy the ring? I can’t exactly afford it but could split the cost over 3 months and budget on a few other things (stretch hair appointments out, bring lunch from home instead of buying, turn down a few social outings etc) to make up the difference. It feels like an extravagance but I just don’t think I would ever get a ring by this jeweller otherwise! I don’t have a lot of disposable income and wouldn’t want to tell DP I bought it as he would think it was a waste of money (but he also probably wouldn’t notice!)… what would you do??

OP posts:
lanesra01 · 01/03/2023 17:45

Do it and show us a pic when you receive it!!! Sometimes you need to do something frivolous or all the fun and excitement can get sucked out of life! Plus a ring can be handed down and worn way more than a dress …do it do it do it

MrsJessePinkmann · 01/03/2023 17:46

thegreenlight · 01/03/2023 16:15

Have a look at the thread I started a few months ago about a stunning Georgian painting I wanted but it was really expensive. I received some really good advice and went for it. She’s absolutely beautiful and makes me happy every day. Why can’t DP buy it for you?

Can we see this too? ☺️

billy1966 · 01/03/2023 17:50

noodlesofoodles · 01/03/2023 15:04

As an update DP and I live together but we have separate finances and share living costs - I wouldn’t let this impact on my ability to share living costs (ie the money would come out of things I would normally pay for for myself - hair, outings with friends etc) He would just get annoyed I think as he would see it as a waste of money on my behalf (even though he’s happy to spend much more on a watch, for example, for himself!)

Why are you with him if he is like this?

He sounds awful, do you realise that?

Absolutely buy the ring and ditch the mean judgy partner.

noodlesofoodles · 01/03/2023 17:53

@billy1966 well, he does have many redeeming qualities...

I guess it wouldn't be an MN post if there weren't several suggestions to LTB 😂

OP posts:
thegreenlight · 01/03/2023 18:03

MrsJessePinkmann
Here she is - I love her sooooo much and she brings me so much joy. I spoke about her the same was the OP speaks about her ring. I think she was a real bargain too (for what she is) which helps!

to buy an expensive ring?
noodlesofoodles · 01/03/2023 18:06

@thegreenlight she's lovely! I'm so glad you bought her – she must bring joy every day. It's funny, I know people often say 'spend on experiences' but I also think that spending on really beautiful things that you truly love and will last a lifetime is a way to bring joy (obviously not just frittering money away on 'stuff')... honestly, I've spent quite a lot on experiences that I barely remember in the past!

OP posts:
billy1966 · 01/03/2023 18:08

noodlesofoodles · 01/03/2023 17:53

@billy1966 well, he does have many redeeming qualities...

I guess it wouldn't be an MN post if there weren't several suggestions to LTB 😂

😁Well any man who questions how YOU spend YOUR money, whilst happily spending his on himself definitely is a bit of a CF in my view.

Glad you bought it. Enjoy!

noodlesofoodles · 01/03/2023 18:11

@billy1966 thank you! I definitely will enjoy it!

OP posts:
Amazongirl9 · 01/03/2023 18:15

I love a nice piece of jewellery and also can’t wait to see it. I think you’ve made a great choice giving up a few transitory things for something you’ll treasure and enjoy for many years.

Emmamoo89 · 01/03/2023 18:28

Do it x

AloudAlot · 01/03/2023 18:32

noodlesofoodles · 01/03/2023 17:00

Bought! And I'll post a picture when it arrives – thanks for the encouragement, I'm so excited to see it and wear it!

Could you post a picture of the ring advertised? I’m so impatient to see!

Out of interest what is the brand? I’m glad you bought it, I’m still searching for a unique ring I didn’t buy myself several years ago. So sad I didn’t get it.

Ridingfree · 01/03/2023 18:41

Oooh what brand is it

glasshole · 01/03/2023 18:42

I'm a firm believer of buying the occasional frivolous thing to feed your heart with pure happiness. For Xmas just gone my DH surprised me with a replica bust of the Veiled Vestal Virgin from Pride and Prejudice and I just adore it. Is my favourite book and movie and the first time I saw it the sculpture just took my breath away. How something carved from stone can be so delicate and beautiful. Anyway, we do NOT live in a house that deserves such a gorgeous piece. It's a five bed council house in a terrible area but every single day I've seen that busy, and noticed the way the light crushed through the day and how it affects her face and the only way I can describe it is that it moves me deeply. It brings me a certain peace even? Very bizarre. But it's just perfection.

shop.chatsworth.org/products/veiled-vestal-bust

I really hope your new jewellery makes you happy ❤️

MrsJessePinkmann · 01/03/2023 18:44

thegreenlight · 01/03/2023 18:03

MrsJessePinkmann
Here she is - I love her sooooo much and she brings me so much joy. I spoke about her the same was the OP speaks about her ring. I think she was a real bargain too (for what she is) which helps!

Oh wow!! She really is stunning. She would make me so happy too. 😍

ImAvingOops · 01/03/2023 18:55

I think you should always buy the beautiful thing that you really want, when it comes up at a bargain price!

I don't like that your partner is okay with spending plenty on himself but would not like you doing the same. Be wary of men who don't prioritise you as much as they do themselves

mac1974 · 01/03/2023 19:37

Yay. Well done op. Enjoy your lovely purchase. I always sell stuff on Vinted to help. Even selling things for a couple of £ each adds up quickly x

alittleadvicepls · 01/03/2023 19:40

I'm a sucker for jewellery even though I always wear the same pieces. I'm like a magpie- can't say no to shine. I'm sure you'll enjoy your purchase for many years to come and what's life if we can't let loose every now and then with an impulse purchase! Can't wait to see pics!!!

changedforonenightonly · 01/03/2023 20:17

mac1974 · 01/03/2023 19:37

Yay. Well done op. Enjoy your lovely purchase. I always sell stuff on Vinted to help. Even selling things for a couple of £ each adds up quickly x

This. I just had a clear out. It's amazing what you think no one will want. It does mount up quickly if you price to sell.

RedCarsGoFaster · 01/03/2023 20:28

Out of interest, what is the brand? And how can you be certain that you're getting a legitimate piece of jewellery rather than a knock off?

Chrysanthemum5 · 01/03/2023 20:39

Lovely! I am so pleased you bought something which will bring you happiness. Look forward to the pictures!

purpledalmation · 01/03/2023 20:55

Do it. Things of beauty always bring you joy

Gensola · 01/03/2023 20:58

Ooh I am excited to see the ring

Shinyandnew1 · 01/03/2023 21:11

What make is it, @noodlesofoodles just out of interest?

NextToTheRadio · 01/03/2023 21:26

We need to see it !!

Meggymoo777 · 01/03/2023 21:32

I did exactly this OP - exact same situation, loved the brand, bought the ring second hand and split over 4 payments when I couldn't exactly afford the 'frivolous' expense... I love the ring, will have it forever and can pass it on when I die, and when I look at it I'm proud I was able to buy myself something so beautiful.

Do it!!! ❤️

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