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Original poster

Do I owe money

113 replies

alwayssocomplicated · 27/02/2023 20:17

A few months ago my parents asked if I would drop them at heathrow airport as the taxi would cost them £80

Their flight is in a couple of months.

We wanted to get away this Easter for a couple of nights and if we go certain dates it is much cheaper/ there is availability.

Typically this clashes with the lift to heathrow and I wouldn't be able to take them.

I would still be able to collect them.

My mum is furious and said I need to pay the taxi.

I said can she not ask one my my 3 other siblings. She said ofcourse not as they wouldn't do the journey for them.

I feel awful.

I haven't booked the break yet but if I don't book this certain weekend we won't be able to afford to go away.

Is it right I should pay?

My parents are much better off than me. But I did say I would give them a lift to the airport all those months ago

OP posts:
ChateauMargaux · 27/02/2023 21:41

Sure Mum.. I will drive you to the airport to save you £80 if you pay the difference in the cost of my holiday.

TheySeeMeRowling · 27/02/2023 21:43

You don’t need to pay. But you do need to set some boundaries. This behaviour is not that of a living parent. It’s abusive.

maddy68 · 27/02/2023 21:44

Your mum is being silly. Say you'll pick them up bit you are on holiday so get a sibling or a taxi.

Viviennemary · 27/02/2023 21:45

No you shouldn't pay. But you did say younwould give them a lift and now you are not. Maybe they can't afford a taxi

LumpyandBumps · 27/02/2023 21:45

You don’t owe any money.
If it is now not possible for you to take your parents to the airport so be it.
If I had promised someone a lift to the airport I would do all I could to avoid letting them down, but in my case the taxi fare would be over £200.
£80 really isn’t that expensive. I paid around that for 5 days airport parking recently. Sometimes trains to airports are surprisingly reasonable. I realise you are justifiably cross with you Mum right now but maybe suggest public transport.
I assume that they would at least have reimbursed your fuel and parking/ drop of costs, so could use that towards their travel?

Tomatotomatopotatopotato · 27/02/2023 21:49

You should go ahead and book the break you want. Don't pay £80 to your parents. As @TheySeeMeRowling said above, you need to set some firm boundaries because it's terrible how your parents are behaving towards you.

Beepbeepenergy · 27/02/2023 21:52

I agree you don’t owe them money but it’s a shit thing to do say you would take them, then decide to book a hol yourself for the same time, a mean out of all the year that 1 weekend you chose 😆

LaughingCat · 27/02/2023 21:54

No - your parents are well out of order. It’s not all on you. It’s not ok for your siblings to say no but not for you.

You’ve given them plenty of notice to find another way to the airport. And you’ll still be picking them up.

Go on holiday. It sounds like you could really use one!

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 27/02/2023 22:00

If I put myself in your mum's shoes I would be disappointed that your plans had changed, but no way would I ask you to pay! That's weird. It's not as if it's tomorrow - you've given her plenty of time to find another lift or look into trains/buses. Book your break.

Easternext · 27/02/2023 22:01

I would say fair enough if I can't book the cheaper holiday for myself then you pay the extra towards it.

saraclara · 27/02/2023 22:02

Babyroobs · 27/02/2023 21:12

If they can afford a trip abroad then they can afford a bloody taxi. CF's.

I've never understood this logic. Back in the day my DH and I would scrimp and save to afford a holiday. But we would never have had money to get a taxi to and from the airport. We barely had any spending money a lot of the time.

Having said that OP implies that her parents can afford it.

nc1013 · 27/02/2023 22:05

So if the other siblings won't do the journey for them, why are you the only one being expected to pay for a taxi?

whynotwhatknot · 27/02/2023 22:12

does your mum often ask you to be her skivvy

WeAreTheHeroes · 27/02/2023 22:20

If they don't want to pay for a taxi they can get the airport bus. I just don't get this asking family members to ferry you around if you can afford a taxi. You can't easily pick people up from our local airport so it's much better if a taxi firm does it because they have a system/process.

Snugglemonkey · 27/02/2023 22:21

She is being a twat asking for money. I appreciate that they may be disappointed, but they did not book the holiday on the proviso that you would be available. It was just a nice convenience for them. So you are not costing them anything. I would offer a refund of any monies paid 😁

www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwie-oKQ3bb9AhWHj2gJHVqmBsIYABABGgJ3Zg&ase=2&sig=AOD64_3ePSWqZbdnBbYaaQlaPRY7IyLLfA&adurl&ctype=5&ved=2ahUKEwjhxviP3bb9AhVbWqQEHW5gAwIQwg96BAgBECM

user1492757084 · 27/02/2023 22:22

To be fair, your mother asked a favour and you didn't need to say yes.. It is poor form and unreliable to renege on an agreement. Probably this is just your mother's shocked initial reaction. She will appreciate you picking them up as planned.
You could offer to lend her the cost of a taxi (which she probably won't accept) due to her not factoring in the payment after you promised the lift.. Families are more honest with each other than with strangers; you saw your Mother's disappointed reaction rather than the polite response she would have given the neighbour had they reneged on the deal. You mother isn't owed the lift but she did ask and you agreed. She was entitled to ask given that you probably have been the beneficiary of your mother's generosity on many occasions.

ChrisPPancake · 27/02/2023 22:22

No you don't. And only agree to pick them up if that's convenient for you.

Snugglemonkey · 27/02/2023 22:23

Snugglemonkey · 27/02/2023 22:21

She is being a twat asking for money. I appreciate that they may be disappointed, but they did not book the holiday on the proviso that you would be available. It was just a nice convenience for them. So you are not costing them anything. I would offer a refund of any monies paid 😁

www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwie-oKQ3bb9AhWHj2gJHVqmBsIYABABGgJ3Zg&ase=2&sig=AOD64_3ePSWqZbdnBbYaaQlaPRY7IyLLfA&adurl&ctype=5&ved=2ahUKEwjhxviP3bb9AhVbWqQEHW5gAwIQwg96BAgBECM

www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwie-oKQ3bb9AhWHj2gJHVqmBsIYABABGgJ3Zg&ase=2&sig=AOD64_3ePSWqZbdnBbYaaQlaPRY7IyLLfA&adurl&ctype=5&ved=2ahUKEwjhxviP3bb9AhVbWqQEHW5gAwIQwg96BAgBECM

Deadringer · 27/02/2023 22:24

She sounds nuts. Book your break and enjoy it, tell her if she keeps complaining you won't pick her up either.

Merangutan · 27/02/2023 22:27

They are being unbelievably cheeky and ungrateful. You've offered to pick them up and they aren’t even grateful for that! Why do they even expect (with angry entitlement) to get a free lift both ways from the same person?! Politely, tell them to stuff it.

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/02/2023 22:28

"My mum is furious and said I need to pay the taxi. I said can she not ask one my my 3 other siblings. She said of course not as they wouldn't do the journey for them."

This told me everything I needed to know about your mother (suffice to say I have a very low opinion of her). Tell her no, and dial down the amount of contact you have with her. She has months of notice to make other arrangements, so give yourself a shake and refuse to feel 'bad', as she is trying to make you feel.

"In answer to why my other siblings can't take them, they just do not do favors for other, I am not sure why."
Two possibilities - either they have learned not to as it leads to unreasonable expectations from your mother, or - because they are as dysfunctional as your mother. I suspect dysfunctional. Maybe step away from them as well.

Fiddledediddledeedee · 27/02/2023 22:39

No you don’t need to pay for your parents taxi
Nor do they need to get a taxi, I’m sure they could grab a coach which would be much cheaper, if money is the issue.
or they could drive to airport and pay for parking ( if they drive)

This isn’t your problem to stress about.

GatoradeMeBitch · 27/02/2023 22:47

The fact that your mother thinks you are now liable for her taxi costs is a big clue as to why your siblings have strong boundaries. It might be time to join their ranks.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 27/02/2023 22:48

Your siblings probably don't do favours because they've learnt that your parents take the absolute piss.

Time for you to learn the same lesson