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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do I owe money

113 replies

alwayssocomplicated · 27/02/2023 20:17

A few months ago my parents asked if I would drop them at heathrow airport as the taxi would cost them £80

Their flight is in a couple of months.

We wanted to get away this Easter for a couple of nights and if we go certain dates it is much cheaper/ there is availability.

Typically this clashes with the lift to heathrow and I wouldn't be able to take them.

I would still be able to collect them.

My mum is furious and said I need to pay the taxi.

I said can she not ask one my my 3 other siblings. She said ofcourse not as they wouldn't do the journey for them.

I feel awful.

I haven't booked the break yet but if I don't book this certain weekend we won't be able to afford to go away.

Is it right I should pay?

My parents are much better off than me. But I did say I would give them a lift to the airport all those months ago

OP posts:
TheBigWangTheory · 27/02/2023 21:03

Firkinhavinalaugh · 27/02/2023 21:00

She’s a bitch for not replying to the OP. Even if it’s just to say “hell no”. By not replying the OP has false hope she might do it 🤷‍♀️ (by what else she has said)

Show quote history

You're a bitch for thinking anyone owes you a response when you are trying to guilt them into chagning their boundaries.
And for calling OP's sister one for no good reason.

Leeds2 · 27/02/2023 21:05

I would suggest you tell her that unless she apologises, you won't be collecting them either.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/02/2023 21:07

I would suggest you tell her that unless she apologises, you won't be collecting them either.

TOTALLY AGREE!!! They are taking the piss. Book your break.

WinterMusings · 27/02/2023 21:07

You're Mum is being weird thinking you shoukd oay.

However, you said you'd take them, so you're not free in that day to do other things, such as go away. I think you are being unfair to back out having said you'd take them.

you need to sort the sibling thing out, it's only going to get worse as your parents age.

NowThatsWhatICall22 · 27/02/2023 21:08

This can’t be real? If it is, OP I can only assume you’re the youngest of your adult siblings and it explains why you’re still being guilt tripped/treated like a child (who can drive).

Gremlins101 · 27/02/2023 21:10

Don't take them and don't bring them back either unless she apologises. Don't be a doormat. If that was my parents a simple message of "can't take you, really sorry" would suffice. What a mean mother.

PillBoxes · 27/02/2023 21:11

Is your Dad muzzled? Has he said anything along the lines of "ah come on love (wife) let's just get a taxi we can well afford it, and let OP have her holiday, she is so good to us all the time". Yes, No?

You COULD ask your siblings for 20quid each to pay for the taxi. If they say no or don't reply then why should you take all the responsibility because I can guarantee you Mum won't think you are the best daughter in the world if you do it yourself and change your plans for her. Entitled Madam.

Sometimes people need a wake up call and a reality check. This is one of those occasions for your Mum.

Might need your big girl pants OP but you can do it. Again what's the Dad situation in this?

Babyroobs · 27/02/2023 21:12

If they can afford a trip abroad then they can afford a bloody taxi. CF's.

SleepingisanArt · 27/02/2023 21:12

They have plenty of time to make alternative arrangements for their journey to the airport. Were they going to pay you petrol money and also the drop off / pick up fee which is now charged by Heathrow?

Book your holiday and enjoy the break with people who love and appreciate you.

category12 · 27/02/2023 21:15

Haha, no.

OoooohMatron · 27/02/2023 21:15

GiltEdges · 27/02/2023 20:20

No, I don't think you owe them the money, but it's a bit of a shitty thing to do to say you'd take them and then back out because you have a better option. Relationships are about give and take as an adult.

OPs mother seems to be doing all the taking here

Lcb123 · 27/02/2023 21:18

Of course you don’t. They need to ask someone else or drive or get public transport

FightingFatAt49 · 27/02/2023 21:18

I can't even imagine how fucked up your family must be ... 1) for your mother to even think that 2) for you to even consider it might be ok 3) for no one to even ask any of your other 3??? Siblings to do it

I fear there is a lot more to come on the batshittery 🦇😞

MrsCobbit · 27/02/2023 21:19

How old are your parents?

poetryandwine · 27/02/2023 21:20

Agree that if your parents are much better off than you, you should take advantage of the terms you can get by booking this holiday. They should build the cost of airport transport into their holiday costs. They are BVU.

I think the ideal thing would be to keep the offer of picking them up open for now but indicate that it is time limited, since you have not heard from them. Your mum us trying to intimidate you. Stay calm and maintain your ground!

CherryHouse · 27/02/2023 21:20

This is so odd. Of course you don’t owe them money.

You were available to do her a favour, now you’re not.

NannyGythaOgg · 27/02/2023 21:21

"Oh so you can bully me but you wouldn't even DARE to bully my siblings" ... "tells me all I need to know about what you think about me".

euff · 27/02/2023 21:23

They asked you to drive as the taxi would be £80. So just to save themselves some money. In the meantime you will spend how much on petrol and parking?

You haven't thrown this at them at the last minute and they aren't poor. I don't get the anger.

Justalittlebitduckling · 27/02/2023 21:27

Tell her to ask for £20 each from each of her children for the taxi (which is ridiculous, obviously).

Tinkerbyebye · 27/02/2023 21:29

No you don’t and it’s very selfish of your parents to expect you to

you are just as entitled to a holiday as them. If your siblings won’t help that’s not your issue. And I wouldn't be doing any more favours for them

whattodo1975 · 27/02/2023 21:30

ask her if she wants you to pay for her flight as well.

Firkinhavinalaugh · 27/02/2023 21:30

TheBigWangTheory · 27/02/2023 21:03

You're a bitch for thinking anyone owes you a response when you are trying to guilt them into chagning their boundaries.
And for calling OP's sister one for no good reason.

Show quote history

Whoa. OK I’m a bitch then 🤷‍♀️

And the OP’s sister is a saint for not even replying to her message about helping the OP out.

OP I expect there is way more to this and how you are treated by your family, but know this - it is ok to set your own boundaries. If you martyr yourself this time and don’t take your holiday, make sure this is the last time and start setting up your own boundaries.

Candymay · 27/02/2023 21:33

No this is a joke

Kisskiss · 27/02/2023 21:36

um the ridiculous bit is her asking you to pay for the cab!!! It was a favour to begin with and they have plenty of time to sort out a taxi. Think hard about agreeing to any favours in future!!!!

Bournetilly · 27/02/2023 21:41

I think you are being unfair by backing out of the plans.
I don’t think you should pay for the taxi though especially if they are well off but I can understand why they are annoyed.