Page 3 | Sil giving my baby tea

abi9396 · 2023-02-26T17:57:52+00:00

My baby is 6 months in 2 weeks. He stayed the night and mil and sil house last night. He came back with tea stains over his bib and sock. My eldest son then told me that sil had given him some of her tea to drink. Mil, sil and my partner are all denying this and claims the baby spilled her tea on accident and that’s how it’s over his bib and sock. If they did can this be harmful at his age I am worried?

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 26/02/2023 18:58

SchoolTripDrama · 26/02/2023 18:32

?!? What on earth for?!?!

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The biggest issue here is that they lied, so you know they cannot be trusted with your child because they might lie about something more serious.

Therefore they are not capable or appropriate caregivers.

Fladdermus · 26/02/2023 19:07

Spilling tea on a baby is far more worrying than feeding it to them.

daisypond · 26/02/2023 19:10

I am shocked at the posters who think this is ok and are actually laughing.

bussteward · 26/02/2023 19:12

daisypond · 26/02/2023 19:10

I am shocked at the posters who think this is ok and are actually laughing.

I’m appalled but not shocked as I think I’ve read the “Tea? It’s fine!” threads a few times over the years. I’m always a bit agog, though.

Coffeellama · 26/02/2023 19:15

abi9396 · 26/02/2023 18:34

I am annoyed that they’re all lying especially my partner, why not just be honest. Thank you for all your comments, glad it wont do any harm to him but still not happy with him having tea at this age, I don’t feel like I can trust them right now to have him alone if they’re just going to give him whatever they want and lie about it

They didn’t have him alone though? Your partner was there? Is he not the babies dad? If he was there then you have a parenting disagreement with your partner.

Rachie1973 · 26/02/2023 19:16

It’s tea! I’d be laughing it off

Trixielo · 26/02/2023 19:18

TwilightSkies · 26/02/2023 18:09

This thread is so funny 😂 it’s tea not heroin!!
Maybe it’s an Irish thing but giving babies milky tea is normal here.

I’m Irish but I have never heard of a baby having tea! Why would anyone do that?!

Chimna · 26/02/2023 19:21

daisypond · 26/02/2023 19:10

I am shocked at the posters who think this is ok and are actually laughing.

I agree, even if you didn't know the health or addiction issues, surely the last thing you want is a wired baby?! Very strange!

Thefaceofboe · 26/02/2023 19:21

*This thread is so funny 😂 it’s tea not heroin!!

Maybe it’s an Irish thing but giving babies milky tea is normal here*

at 5 months though?

M08my · 26/02/2023 19:25

I think yabu for believing your 7yo over three adults who are close family. Kids love to rock the boat and exaggerate, to get a reaction. Your eldest might well be pushing your buttons. I mean we can't know for sure, but why not consider that possibility as the most likely one?

Coffeellama · 26/02/2023 19:28

M08my · 26/02/2023 19:25

I think yabu for believing your 7yo over three adults who are close family. Kids love to rock the boat and exaggerate, to get a reaction. Your eldest might well be pushing your buttons. I mean we can't know for sure, but why not consider that possibility as the most likely one?

Maybe you have kids like this but the majority of us don’t. Dangerous refusing to believe a child over an adult about something that could cause harm to a baby. Even if the adults are telling the truth, they neglected the baby as they allowed it to pull a hot/warm drink over itself so they still weren’t doing great!

Pennyplant19 · 26/02/2023 19:33

TwilightSkies · 26/02/2023 18:09

This thread is so funny 😂 it’s tea not heroin!!
Maybe it’s an Irish thing but giving babies milky tea is normal here.

😂😂😂

M08my · 26/02/2023 19:35

Coffeellama · 26/02/2023 19:28

Maybe you have kids like this but the majority of us don’t. Dangerous refusing to believe a child over an adult about something that could cause harm to a baby. Even if the adults are telling the truth, they neglected the baby as they allowed it to pull a hot/warm drink over itself so they still weren’t doing great!

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OK, but if dh, mil and sil are all actively putting her baby at risk of harm and lying about it, that's quite a big conspiracy. Were they the same with 7yo DS? Did they harm him too, throughout his childhood so far? If so, OP has bigger problems than tea...!

MelchiorsMistress · 26/02/2023 19:36

They’re lying because they know you won’t like it.

My MIL gave my babies tea without my knowledge and I would have felt as outraged as you’re feeling now had I known. It would have caused a huge row. They’re healthy grown adults now and one of them doesn’t like tea and the other likes it if someone else is making one but isn’t bothered otherwise. I love and appreciate my now ex MIL for all the other lovely things she’s done as a grandmother. It was harmless, and it really doesn’t matter. Getting upset over little things and having arguments isn’t harmless.

AD1996 · 26/02/2023 19:39

Your baby will be fine, however, they shouldn’t lie about it if they did and I wouldn’t be happy.

Whattodonut · 26/02/2023 19:39

Why are not more people put out by the fact that either
They lied about what they have given your baby or
The spilt hot tea on them...
The giving tea is a red herring- yes its not what you would have done. They know that now and as long as they had said they wouldn't again I wouldn't think twice
But lying or endagering (and yes hot tea is a danger to a 5 month old) is not ok.
Friends baby was in A&E for hot tea. Its not a joke.

Harebrain · 26/02/2023 19:43

I grew up in the era where babies had tea in their bottles. Whilst I wouldn’t be doing that, a few slurps of tea won’t do a baby any harm. Relax.

elenacampana · 26/02/2023 19:44

DumpedinKilburn · 26/02/2023 18:34

I too was given milky tea when I was a baby.

I am so so proud of myself for now being able to stand up and say, 'I am a tea survivor. I survived. I survived. Say it loud, say it clear and hope that others too will have the strength to stand and say the same.

OP. Your baby will survive. It may take a trip to A&E, it may take decades of counselling, it may take aversion therapy but you are strong, your baby is strong. You will survive.

Don't forget that your seven year old, who was forced to watch this abuse, will also struggle with feelings of guilt and possibly night terrors. He too will survive.

Obviously, never ever speak to your SiL again. Call 999 and log the incident. Take back control.

Oh you have no idea how much you’ve just made me laugh. This is the best ever MN response.

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/02/2023 19:49

Baby will be fine.

Your eldest may have misunderstood.

The world is not going to end.

Coffeellama · 26/02/2023 19:49

M08my · 26/02/2023 19:35

OK, but if dh, mil and sil are all actively putting her baby at risk of harm and lying about it, that's quite a big conspiracy. Were they the same with 7yo DS? Did they harm him too, throughout his childhood so far? If so, OP has bigger problems than tea...!

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It’s not a conspiracy is it, they gave the baby some tea for a laugh and then the mum said she was mad about it so they lied and made up a story that’s actually worse because they are a bit thick and think it’s ok to blame the kid. Probably anything to try n shut the mum up as they see it as a joke and don’t see the big deal. Sounds far stranger that a 7 year old made up a lie about them giving a 5 month old baby tea, especially as he’s not from the era of adults that drank tea as babies so it’s quite a random lie, and what does he get out of this lie anyway? It’s not like he knows tea is bad for babies, but he probably does no that babies spilling hot tea on themselves is dangerous. So why’s he fabricated a very specific lie to cause trouble, that’s more minor than the ‘truth’? Just how manipulative is this 7 year old and why?

Coffeellama · 26/02/2023 19:50

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/02/2023 19:49

Baby will be fine.

Your eldest may have misunderstood.

The world is not going to end.

How did he misunderstand seeing them feed the baby tea when he was close enough to see the babies reaction? She doesn’t say anywhere that his sight is impaired.

Mamai90 · 26/02/2023 19:52

I take my tea really milky and would give DD the odd sip she's been around 9 months. No harm done.

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/02/2023 19:54

@Coffeellama

cause he is 7

purpledalmation · 26/02/2023 19:55

Maybe he wanted a sip like babies do. It's not poisonous, so don't worry about it. It's not recommended but simply because it contains caffeine and tannin.

Coffeellama · 26/02/2023 19:56

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/02/2023 19:54

@Coffeellama

cause he is 7

7 year olds can usually identify the mouth on the human body, and no what a person drinking knows like. It’s not rocket science is it. Although maybe it is for some…