Page 2 | Sil giving my baby tea

abi9396 · 2023-02-26T17:57:52+00:00

My baby is 6 months in 2 weeks. He stayed the night and mil and sil house last night. He came back with tea stains over his bib and sock. My eldest son then told me that sil had given him some of her tea to drink. Mil, sil and my partner are all denying this and claims the baby spilled her tea on accident and that’s how it’s over his bib and sock. If they did can this be harmful at his age I am worried?

Mumoftwoinprimary · 26/02/2023 18:20

WeCome1 · 26/02/2023 18:15

My mum smoked and drank through her pregnancy. I’m fine.

Doesn’t make it a good idea though.

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I slept on my front, with a duvet, in a different room to my parents and spent most of my first year in a baby bouncer that was later recalled as a number of babies were accidentally catapulted across the room. I also regularly sat in the boot of a car and occasionally stood on the back seat so I could put my head out of the sun roof.

I’m just fine!

bussteward · 26/02/2023 18:20

I'm anti giving babies water, because of the lack of nutrition.
Wtf

elenacampana · 26/02/2023 18:22

Call the police - there’s a tea dealer on the loose!

Ponoka7 · 26/02/2023 18:26

bussteward · 26/02/2023 18:20

I'm anti giving babies water, because of the lack of nutrition.
Wtf

As said, I did give my babies tea, starting in the 80's. I think nutrition is important in the first twelve months, brain development etc. I'm against giving water in between feeds for a newborn/under six months, I've a lot of African friends who still do that. A baby at six months should still be given formula/BM. If the child is hungry and they are giving tea, that's an issue. Babies were fed according to the parents income and sugary tea was used to fill up a empty stomach. People didn't like to admit that they couldn't afford milk, so it wasn't said out loud.

Original poster

abi9396 · 26/02/2023 18:26

My eldest son is 7, he is adamant she gave him some he even did an impression of baby’s face when he took a sip of it

OP posts:

bussteward · 26/02/2023 18:30

Ponoka7 · 26/02/2023 18:26

As said, I did give my babies tea, starting in the 80's. I think nutrition is important in the first twelve months, brain development etc. I'm against giving water in between feeds for a newborn/under six months, I've a lot of African friends who still do that. A baby at six months should still be given formula/BM. If the child is hungry and they are giving tea, that's an issue. Babies were fed according to the parents income and sugary tea was used to fill up a empty stomach. People didn't like to admit that they couldn't afford milk, so it wasn't said out loud.

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Oh, I agree: before six months, no water. But from six months, water with meals - I was picturing you being anti water once babies can have it! But humans do need hydration as part of nutrition, and water is the best thing for that.

Cancankan · 26/02/2023 18:31

Either way this is unacceptable and if it was me they would have lost their unsupervised visit rights. That will teach them for taking the piss out of you.

Lcb123 · 26/02/2023 18:31

I don’t see an issue with some weak tepid tea.

SchoolTripDrama · 26/02/2023 18:32

BeardieWeirdie · 26/02/2023 18:01

Either she is an idiot giving your baby tea or an idiot leaving hot tea in your baby’s reach - I’d believe your eldest. Don’t leave your baby with her.

Don’t leave your baby with her.

What the fuck?!?!?!?! Hahaha 🤣 What on earth for?!?! Babies of that age often drink tea! Just milky tea is all. Why the hell does this make her unsuitable to have the baby again?! What a vile thing to say

SchoolTripDrama · 26/02/2023 18:32

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 26/02/2023 18:02

Yeah, they would never look after my child unsupervised ever again.

You can’t trust them.

?!? What on earth for?!?!

Suzi888 · 26/02/2023 18:32

TwilightSkies · 26/02/2023 18:09

This thread is so funny 😂 it’s tea not heroin!!
Maybe it’s an Irish thing but giving babies milky tea is normal here.

Yes. It’s fine. Jesus….

CallMeVal · 26/02/2023 18:32

Are you Irish, OP?

We were reared on milky tea. Probably with sugar, too!

Not ideal, no, but your baby won’t be harmed from a little sip or two.

DumpedinKilburn · 26/02/2023 18:34

I too was given milky tea when I was a baby.

I am so so proud of myself for now being able to stand up and say, 'I am a tea survivor. I survived. I survived. Say it loud, say it clear and hope that others too will have the strength to stand and say the same.

OP. Your baby will survive. It may take a trip to A&E, it may take decades of counselling, it may take aversion therapy but you are strong, your baby is strong. You will survive.

Don't forget that your seven year old, who was forced to watch this abuse, will also struggle with feelings of guilt and possibly night terrors. He too will survive.

Obviously, never ever speak to your SiL again. Call 999 and log the incident. Take back control.

GoodChat · 26/02/2023 18:34

I wouldn't be concerned about a sip of tea, personally.

Original poster

abi9396 · 26/02/2023 18:34

I am annoyed that they’re all lying especially my partner, why not just be honest. Thank you for all your comments, glad it wont do any harm to him but still not happy with him having tea at this age, I don’t feel like I can trust them right now to have him alone if they’re just going to give him whatever they want and lie about it

OP posts:

SchoolTripDrama · 26/02/2023 18:35

Ponoka7 · 26/02/2023 18:13

I had my first in the 80's and we gave our babies milky tea, as my and previous generations were. As said we now know that they shouldn't have tea within 45 minutes of eating. I wouldn't give my GC tea, now. I'm glad I gave my children tea because those that were critical were giving strong ribena and fruit juices, which did teeth damage. I'm anti giving babies water, because of the lack of nutrition. You need to tell them that it doesn't happen again.

Any doctor will tell you that in hot weather, you MUST give babies water. The nutrition is no issue because it's only a few sips and on top of their bottle. If you don't, they can die from dehydration- many have

Baldrickhasaplan · 26/02/2023 18:36

I can confirm that an occasional baby tea, very weak, very milky and barely warm, is still very much a thing in the North East. Apart from being a gateway drug to biscuits, no harm will be done!

Flamingogirl08 · 26/02/2023 18:37

This thread is hilarious

CooCooNut · 26/02/2023 18:39

TwilightSkies · 26/02/2023 18:09

This thread is so funny 😂 it’s tea not heroin!!
Maybe it’s an Irish thing but giving babies milky tea is normal here.

It is in Scotland too! As a PP mentioned, I was given tea in my bottle by my Grandad. My mum wasn't overjoyed about it and didn't condone it but I loved it apparently. There are some proper drama queens on here, 'stop all unsupervised contact' 🤣

ShimmeringShirts · 26/02/2023 18:42

surprised this isn’t a PFB post.

meatballsoup · 26/02/2023 18:45

I wouldn't encourage sipping for such a small baby. Better to dip some toast in the tea so baby can give it a good gumming.

Shrubb157 · 26/02/2023 18:46

It doesn’t matter whether you think tea is okay or not. The issue is that someone has done this without consulting the Mum, who doesn’t want her child drinking tea and then lied about it.

My baby’s 4 months old and according to the packets old enough for some purées and baby porridge but I’d still be annoyed if someone gave some to her without telling me before I’d started weaning her myself.

bloodyplanes · 26/02/2023 18:52

TwilightSkies · 26/02/2023 18:09

This thread is so funny 😂 it’s tea not heroin!!
Maybe it’s an Irish thing but giving babies milky tea is normal here.

Exactly what i was thinking 😂

UnicornsHaveDadsToo · 26/02/2023 18:55

abi9396 · 26/02/2023 18:34

I am annoyed that they’re all lying especially my partner, why not just be honest. Thank you for all your comments, glad it wont do any harm to him but still not happy with him having tea at this age, I don’t feel like I can trust them right now to have him alone if they’re just going to give him whatever they want and lie about it

They probably aren't lying.

Even if they are, is it because you're far too unreasonable and they feel they have no other option? To an independent observer, the fact that you'll have trust issues and you're considering not allowing them to look after the baby because of a completely and utterly harmless incident, which may not even have happened as children have a habit of exaggerating and lying (yes, they can mimic a baby very well at that age), suggests that you may be rather too controlling in this relationship. I'd trust my wife's word, and I'd be pretty pissed off if she didn't believe me plus 2 other reliable adults over a 7 year old child, including one of our own children.

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 26/02/2023 18:57

Mumoftwoinprimary · 26/02/2023 18:20

I slept on my front, with a duvet, in a different room to my parents and spent most of my first year in a baby bouncer that was later recalled as a number of babies were accidentally catapulted across the room. I also regularly sat in the boot of a car and occasionally stood on the back seat so I could put my head out of the sun roof.

I’m just fine!

Show quote history

Lucky you. Tell that to the parents of babies who died from unsafe sleep conditions, dangerous baby equipment and poor car safety.

Those dead babies aren’t fine. They’re dead.

We learn from our mistakes. We don’t just say “oh I was fine so it must be ok!”